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-   -   My 40 Year Old Brother In Law Pulled My 4 Yr Olds Son Pants Down Jokingly I Was Told (https://www.daycare.com/forum/showthread.php?t=44006)

Unregistered 04-01-2012 07:02 PM

My 40 Year Old Brother In Law Pulled My 4 Yr Olds Son Pants Down Jokingly I Was Told
 
My son tells me recently he "doesn't like uncle *********"
I as his Father ask why?
He told me The uncle in law pulled his pants down clowning around.
Exposing his rear, I know for sure its not sexual, but its about the victim not the perpetrator. My son wants nothing to do with him and I am considering an Order of protection. The uncle has 3 DUI's.
What should I do, before I react the way any Dad would?

Michael 04-01-2012 08:40 PM

Doesn't matter if you don't think it was sexual. Time for you to straighen him out.

familyschoolcare 04-02-2012 06:54 AM

Why do you need an order of protection. Just do not leave your son alone or semi-alone with the uncle.

itlw8 04-02-2012 07:01 AM

It is not appropriate behavior I know it goes on in locker rooms in highschool but he is much older than that and YOU do not want your son acting like that.

Calmly tell him it was not appropriate and your son did not like it. I would not leave my son with him alone again.

I could be wrong but it sounds like the other adults thought it was funny and laughed. And it gives me the feeling the adults were drinking.

Do you need an order of protection.... no... Do you need to take your child to visit relatives that act like this.... no. Should children be around adults that are drinking to excess... NO WAY

Sugar Magnolia 04-02-2012 10:00 AM

Kids dont like to be humiliated our embarrassed like that. Public humiliation is a form of abuse. I would tell this uncle he has scared your child and should be ashamed of himself. If he touches him again, after being told directly by you, call the cops.

JenNJ 04-02-2012 11:57 AM

I would cut off all contact with him and if uncle shows up at my home, I would contact police. This person would have NO communication with my son or my family at all.

Unregistered 04-02-2012 05:16 PM

Originally Posted by JenNJ:
I would cut off all contact with him and if uncle shows up at my home, I would contact police. This person would have NO communication with my son or my family at all.

Thank you so much for your reply I agree

Greenplasticwateringcans 04-02-2012 06:10 PM

I would call the police. Let them and CPS sort out if he is a sexual predator just starting out small (pulling down pants) with big intentions of sexual abuse.
I would not have any contact with the brother again.
That situation does not sound right at all!

cheerfuldom 04-02-2012 07:04 PM

is there some other suspicion that you would consider calling the police or CPS on this uncle? do you know him very well and think he might have been doing this sexually?

Otherwise, I think just keeping your son a part from him would be sufficient. I know some guys clown around like this and probably thought it was just funny and no big deal. I'm not saying I agree with this, just that that is probably what was happening. I have a lot of brothers and uncles as well as many guy friends growing up and this sort of stuff happened all the time between the boys....wrestling or playing basketball and try and pants another one to get a laugh and that sort of thing. Sounds like this was the case especially if it happened in front of other people. I would be suspicious if it was just the uncle and your son alone.

You are the mom, you have to do what you feel is right. But for the average person, getting the cops called on them or having a restraining order and accusations of ill intent is a big deal.

Unregistered 04-04-2012 04:48 PM

Thanks to all your input is truly apreciated
 
Thanks people for your comments and concerns the is a fantastic website



Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
is there some other suspicion that you would consider calling the police or CPS on this uncle? do you know him very well and think he might have been doing this sexually?

Otherwise, I think just keeping your son a part from him would be sufficient. I know some guys clown around like this and probably thought it was just funny and no big deal. I'm not saying I agree with this, just that that is probably what was happening. I have a lot of brothers and uncles as well as many guy friends growing up and this sort of stuff happened all the time between the boys....wrestling or playing basketball and try and pants another one to get a laugh and that sort of thing. Sounds like this was the case especially if it happened in front of other people. I would be suspicious if it was just the uncle and your son alone.

You are the mom, you have to do what you feel is right. But for the average person, getting the cops called on them or having a restraining order and accusations of ill intent is a big deal.



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