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Blackcat31 11:19 AM 05-17-2013
Originally Posted by littlemissmuffet:
I understand where you are coming from, and I know why you feel the way you feel... I'm even ok with that. LOL! I get into all kinds of arguments about what is or isn't my place - because I feel that it's always my place to speak up/question behavior when I feel something isn't right. I often come across as a rude b!tch... but that's not necessarily my intent. Though, I can be a very judgemental person and tend to jump to conclusions - sometimes I simply ask why someone is doing something and have them explain to me why they do what they do so that I have a better understanding/another perspective... to not be so judgemental!
I am the same way. But for some odd reason, NOT in a business sense.

In my personal life I am just like you described yourself. I get myself in hot water all the time for saying things (things that are often judgmental and not my place to say) simply because....well...I am opinionated and can't help myself sometimes.

But when it comes to business, I tend to operate on a more factual (verses emotional) basis. I can easily sort out the difference between fact and feeling and have no problem enforcing things in a black and white fashion. I think that has a lot to do with why I have a good backbone in this job.

It isn't that I don't feel for people in tough situations and such, it's just that when I wear my business hat, emotional connections and personal feelings don't get as strong of a voice as they do in my personal life.

Originally Posted by EntropyControlSpecialist:
That does make sense!

I think I am reading more into it than her just sending her child on this one particular day she isn't working. I don't think DCM would have confronted the other DCM had it been solely about that, although I suppose she could have!

I actually see the negative effects of parents not properly connecting to their children all the time with the daycare kids, with my adopted son (holy nightmare), and with parents of other adopted children who are working on THEIR attachment issues. I guess I don't handle being a bystander when I witness that very well and I certainly am judgemental about it. Certain things are very black and white to me when it comes to parenting. Abuse is bad parenting. Neglect is bad parenting. Lack of time with your child, when your child needs that for their development, is bad parenting. Etc. etc. etc.
I'm not saying that I'm an expert by any means, I'm just saying my little brain only sees these things in black and white with no grey area and I would be clapping inwardly if I witnessed someone constructively criticizing someone else in the hopes that they would be a better parent. That tends to be how I roll, though.
I definitely agree that there are all sorts of negative things and big time fall out for kids who don't get that deep bonding connection with their parent and I too think it is VERY important for the emotional, social and mental well being of a child.

Buuut, you can't make a parent spend time with their child. If they don't understand, recognize or even value that theory (secure attachment) then you can't convince them of it.

Parents will ALWAYS parent in the way they wish to, no matter what we require for rules/policies in our handbooks. Parents will ALWAYS do what works best for them and will prioritize in the same manner.

Just like when we say we wish a parent would spend their day off with their child. Even if they did keep their child home with them, how do we know the child isn't sitting in front of the TV with a Sponge Bob marathon playing on Nick Jr while he munches on left over Easter candy he found stashed in his toybox while his mom is busy playing Farmville on Facebook...not even looking up to check on him.

We can value, promote and wish for secure emotional connections and quality face time between parents and children all we want but that doesn't mean it will actually happen.
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