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Mummy101 10:12 AM 07-17-2017
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I do see the relation.....but THAT is the key.

Parents can parent in whatever manner they choose to parent and the result is they reap what they sew.

The same is applicable to you.

The environment and the expectations set the child up for failure or success.
The best part is YOU get to decide which of those behaviors you want to encourage or discourage.

I have A LOT of parents that don't parent, permissively parent, helicopter parent and do all sorts of things that make me roll my eyes (hopefully not outloud ) but I impact the child's behaviors here by the rules, expectations and physical set up of my environment REGARDLESS of parenting style at home. (of course there will always be exceptions but 99% of the kids I have are parented vastly different at home yet display different behaviors here).

"If you stop yelling I will give you an Oreo...."

translates to:

If you do X, you will get Y. That works in positive ways too! You just have to be 2 steps ahead of him. We all get from Point A to Point B but the roads we take to get there are all different and not everyone travels the freeway.
Some take the roads less traveled.


Here is a personal example I have shared numerous times (so I'll give the Cliff Note's version):

I have 2 children of my own.

When entering a store I told my daughter if she behaved and followed the rules she could earn $1 to spend upon checking out at the end of our shopping excursion. She understood and complied with that version of "If you stop yelling I will give you an Oreo" Easy peasy.


My son was given the same rules and expectations. He would usually lose the reward within 3 minutes of entering the store. Then I figured out the issue. I was expecting him to travel from A to B in the same manner as my daughter. MISTAKE.

So I tried another approach but with the same expectations and outcome.

Upon entering the store I gave my son 10 dimes. I told him each time I had to redirect him or remind him of the rules he would have to give me a dime. Then and only IF he had enough money left at the check out he could buy a reward.

So in BOTH cases I achieved the same results but did so completely differently.

There is a saying I learned very early on in my journey towards early childhood education......(however let me preface it by saying I am NOT saying this to YOU, just that it helped me understand how to change my thought process when it came to teaching, directing, redirecting an educating kids)

This statement made HUGE impact in how I not only operate my business but in how I teach the children in my care and manage challenging behaviors.

Yes, you definitely seem firm and confident! That is paramount. I need to cultivate that in working with the parents.
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