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misol 07:21 PM 03-31-2010
Originally Posted by pigletsmommy:
Hi! I'm new here but I found this forum about a week ago and have been reading thru all the posts. Its nice to see I'm not alone in some of these issues.

A little about me... I'm 30, married for 3 1/2 years and have a 16 month old daughter. Last year after the baby came I realized I wasn't cut out to be the working mom. I left my job and stayed home with the baby. One of my good friends asked me if I would watch her 2 boys 3 days a week (5-6 hour days). I love these kids like they were my own so of course I said yes. Since I had them I decided I could take in a few more so they would have playmates. So now here I am, only 10 months later, with 6 children coming in & out of my apartment. They are all part time so I don't have any more than 4 children (besides mine) here at the same time (my understanding of laws here in TN). Its kind of nice because they have different playmates almost every day.

I've been thinking about getting licensed but we are looking for a house before we do that. We definitely need more space (bonus room or play room) and a larger play area. I have a community play area here but it more for older kids so I end up hauling tons of toys in & out so that the kids can play outside. So my first question is, what do you think are the benefits to being license? Other than being able to have more children.

The 2nd question is a little more complicated. I have a parent who I feel like is taking advantage of me. The first is that they increased my hours and are not paying me for them. They did not ask, they just said next week the kids will be here from 7:30 until 4pm (it was 10-3:30). They asked me to start potty training 2 yr old and brought me pull ups. It only took me a week to realize it was not happening at home. The child was being brought in a diaper every day, usually dirty from night time. I asked the older child if his little brother goes in the potty at home and he told me "no he is too little". So I stopped and told parents to bring me diapers. It took them a week to get me those diapers. In the mean time I ran out of pull ups and had to use my own child's diapers. The kids always come in asking for food. Doesnt matter if it is 7:30 or 10am, they have not had breakfast. And here is the big issue... They did not pay me for 2 weeks. The 1st time Mom said she put it on my counter, but it wasnt there. I asked my husband and he said he didnt see/take it. The other week is kind of confusing. They pay me on Tuesdays (payday) for the week before. I took one week vacation and the next Tuesday I ask here for babysitting money and she tells me she doesnt owe me for last week. Its not for last week (vacation), its for the week before. We are still having difference of opinion on this.

So I know that I should cut them and not watch the kids but here is the problem: Its my friends. The kids that I love. That is why haven't pushed the money issue. I think she didn't pay me because they are having money issues, but I wish she would just say that. I am so frustrated and there is a definite strain on the the friendship. She is having a LOT of problems with her job so I know she is under a lot of stress. It is to the point that she may be getting fired soon and honestly I am thinking that will be the best thing for our friendship. Oh and she pays me less than anyone else. She pays me for 2 kids what I could charge for 1.

I'm not sure any advice will help on the issue but I would like to hear it if you have any. I'm trying not to lose a friendship. It used to be a really good one before all of this. But at the same time I'm tired of feeling like I'm being taken advantage of.
Welcome to the forum. I am also sorry that your "friend" is taking advantage of you but she is only going to do what you let her do. Since it doesn't appear that you can have both, you are going to have to choose between your business or your friendship. Personally, I would tell her that you watching her boys is taking a toll on the relationship and since you value her friensdship (and the friendship between your children) she is going to have to find a new provider.

I am assuming that she claims she paid you that day in cash, right? Otherwise you could just ask her to put a stop payment on the check. Why would anyone leave something on someone's counter (or anywhere) without telling them? In my contract I have:

"It is required that you pay in advance of care, and tuition is due on Friday for care the following week. Do not leave payments in my mailbox, in your child’s diaper bag, on the table, etc. Please hand payments to me directly."
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