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Sahmmie 07:17 AM 07-06-2017
A few thoughts:

I'd remove the food pictures and just say that you cook wholesome foods from scratch. Like someone else mentioned, some children would not touch food like that, and parents of those kids might worry that their children are starving.

The statement about successfully napping children on the first day may turn parents off because it may suggest that you are rigid and/or harsh.

"If there's a mutual fit, I'm excited to see your face when you see the results that I can bring to your child's development and to your family!" This sentence is awkward, and to be honest, a bit snobbish. I'm sure you don't mean it to sound that way, but I find it a bit uppity. I'd take out the "mutual fit part."

"I think that there isn't enough quality care for children in my community." I'd remove this sentence. It sounds judgmental.

"I believe that children deserve more than to just survive- they deserve to feel loved..." I completely understand why you feel this way as I've seen plenty of day cares in which surviving seems to be the only real goal. However, most parents don't have tons of experience with the inner workings of day cares and therefore may find this statement to be extreme, and perhaps even bizarre. They might even think, "Gee, did the last daycare I chose allow my children to only survive. If so, I must be a lousy parent!" Or, they may think, "This lady is plain weird. Of course children are doing more than surviving in all other daycares in this town."

"I'm a results kind of gal-there's nothing better than the moment when I see my client's face as they are blown away with a new skill their child has learned while in my care." I'm not crazy about this sentence. I think it's a bit over the top. Also, if you decide to keep it I'd put a period (not a dash) after gal and start a new sentence with "There." I think that most parents are not going to be "blown away" if their child learns to tie their shoe or drink from a cup or write their name. They will be pleased, or excited, or happy, etc. but "blown away" seems a bit off for the situation being described.

"These kind of results are what I live for!" I find this statement to be a bit over the top as well. Deep down, maybe even subconsciously, many parents (in my experience anyway) have a less than stellar opinion of daycare workers whom they view as servant type workers. Saying things like "these kind of results are what I live for!" conveys to these types of parents (and I think there are a lot of them) that you have no life and no self-worth beyond caring for children which unfortunately in our society is not highly valued.

The comment on your video about being at a whole different level may turn off some parents. I do think your daycare is on a whole different level, but some parents may find that claim to be an insult to other day cares and that might sway them away from you instead of towards you.
It would better to just state the positives about your daycare without comparing it to others.

I hope none of this sounds harsh. I just want to help
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