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nannyde 03:58 AM 02-22-2012
I feel for you OP. I would be upset too.

I worked in Iowa's poorest school for three years as a school nurse. I shared an office with the assistant principal who was also the behavioral specialist with ten years of special ed teaching. Back in those days the "BD" kids were self contained in a classroom with about one adult for every four kids. The kids we had came from all over the district. They were bussed to us. We had the hardest kids in the district when it came to violence and mental health issues.

There were three classrooms and one of them was considered to be less "weighted" so they had twelve or so kids with two adults.

Back in those days it was UNDERSTOOD that if a kid got froggy with an adult that the adult took them down to the ground. We were trained thru the district (I think it was called MAT training) and we had to show we were able to perform the move with the least chance of the child or ourselves getting hurt.

She and I worked as a team so when a kid was "going off" we would go up together... try to de-escalate and remove. That would work SOME of the time. A lot of the time we had to go in for a full tackle and bring them down to the ground. These are kids who were strong and could HURT you if you didn't seize control. (they were five to eleven)

Sorry to ramble... but there's a point to this story. In the three years I worked as either the only person responding to the kids (after a while most of them just got that if I showed up they better get gettin and come down stairs with me) or in a team... we NEVER had a single worry that if the kid was bruised or hurt on the way down to the ground or down to the office that we would be held liable for it. It was UNDERSTOOD that if the kid got violent or non-compliant with rules or safety rules that they were going down to the ground. period. We had MANY times... specially in the first few months of school or with a new kid where the parent walked into our office as we had the kid down on the ground. There were times when we had to call the police and the police came in while we had the kid on the ground.

Spitting on a kid and then laughing at an adult during a reprimand... yeah that would have been enough to have physical intervention. It's a warning shot that they are going to escalate and this is exactly what she described to you when she said he wouldn't calm down afterwards. We knew it was better to get it stopped before it started.

Now the times have changed and what was just understood in those days would be considered too much of a show of force in these days. But... the kids are the same. Times have changed what we can do with them but the kids are actually worse and at a younger age than they were twenty years ago.

The adults dealing with children with mental illness have a very hard time KNOWING how to handle acts of defiance and when to STOP the escalation so it doesn't get to the point it got with your son. There's no TRAINING to teach "holds" so that you can HOLD onto the kid without markings. With such a high percentage of mentally ill very young children now... we need to start making it as mandatory as we do CPR. We really do.

So maybe what you are seeing is that her explanation of this is quite different than yours. With her superiors and licensors she may have been able to describe the child's behavior in terms of "resistance" from what she was physically leading him to do. The authorities need to hear her story and see if the pressure bruises are from a reasonable force and his resistance of that force.

This takes TIME and they will most likely take into consideration her experience as a whole to see if the had the proper training. The outcome may well be that she needs additional training and then she can return to working.

"IF" your son has been physically violent in the last few years... if that is in the behavior that led the doctors to give such a really really young kid such a serious mental health diagnosis... then they WILL consider that in deciding if she went too far and did it with intent.

You just have to sit back and let them figure out what they think is right. It takes time. She's not in your sons class now and there is a very real possibility that nothing at all will happen to her so she may return back into the setting. At that point, if you believe they are incorrect you can appeal and move your child.

When I was in that school nurse job we didn't have a single worry whether not we would have to explain ourselves should a kid get bruised up during a move or a take down. It was understood that it could well happen. Now any markings have to be investigated and that investigation will most likely be far more expansive in information and consideration than this singular incident. Because the "injury" didn't include any broken bones or anything that would impair him in the future you may find that their findings are quite different than what you want.

You didn't say in your post what you did at home when you found out he was spitting at other children and not following adults directions. How did you handle that with him?
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