View Single Post
Blackcat31 02:30 PM 04-14-2012
Originally Posted by kendallina:
Parents will respect you when you demand to be respected. A parent calls at 6:30 and asks to drop off 1-1/2 hours early...say "No, that won't work for me, I'll see you at 9:00" (perhaps that's what you did, but you didn't say in your post).

A dad is dropping off consistently earlier and earlier and you say that they need to 'let you know' if they will be there earlier...NO...tell them that their drop off time is noon and you will not accept their child before that time. Even if they show up at your door....turn them away or don't answer! If they would like to revisit their drop-off time, then you are happy to revisit their contract, drop-off time and rate.

If you allow parents to do whatever they want, they will. They follow your behavior, if you allow them to behave badly from day 1, they will continue it. I try to be very upfront and honest with my parents about whether their behavior is okay or not and they actually respect me more because of it! They know that they cannot get away with dropping off whenever or picking up whenever because I value my time and they need to as well.
What she said. Especially the bolded part! I am VERY firm with my families about times and things like that. Don't get me wrong, I understand that things happen and life gets busy and confusing sometimes but I stress to all my dcf's that I expect them to treat me in a professional manner and I will always do the same for them.

I will never discuss their child or personal issues with anyone else nor will I judge them for who they are or their choices. I act in a prefessional manner and never hesitate to call them out if they slip up or are late/early or even when they say things or act in a manner that I was hurt or upset by. I will confront them and say, "I know you may not have meant this hurtfully Joan, but when you said ***X, it made me feel bad or disrespected." This is all part of the communication thing that everyone stresses.

It is so important to TELL people how things make you feel or you will find yourself being resentful or angry later. I choose to take pro-active measures rather than let things slide and build up.

I take great effort to be professional in every way. I dress professionally, speak professionally to the parents and adults involved and even go so far as to make all my notes, billing invoices and newsletters have my logo and professional signature. I stress pretty regularly to my parents that I am running a business and that I expect to be treated in such and such a manner and will tolerate no less.

It does take a bit of the "family-like" feel out of my child care program but honestly only for the parents, not the children. The children are loved and cuddled and snuggled and treated like part of my family. I make no apologies for how well I treat my dck's and no apologies for the business-only relationship I have with the parents.

It is ok to have 2 different types of relationships going on because I expect nothing from the kids (except good behavior) but they aren't paying the bill or giving me their schedules...kwim?

My advice to you is to start speaking up, being strict and not ever falling for sob stories or excuses as we all have them....it's ok to feel bad but you aren't required to have to act on the feeling bad part. I often sympathize with my families but it doesn't mean I am going to give them a break in rates or being late. Start ollowing your rules to a T and not giving an inch and you will be surprised at how quickly your DCF's will start doing the same. You have to teach people how you want to be treated by not tolerating the lateness or disrespectful comments or actions.

If a parent shows up even 5 minutes late, charge them. If they try to drop off 10 minutes early say to them "I'm sorry your child is not scheduled ot be dropped off for another 10 minutes, you will need to wait until them before I can take them." Above all, don't make excuses yourself for why. If they are early for dropping off, say you won't take the child but don't stray away into a big excuse as to why, just say you can't. period.

You will get better at it as time goes on but Kendallina is 100% right about parents respecting you more for being tougher and stricter about things. Whenyou are a pushover, they can tell and will treat you accordingly.

YOU decide how you want to be treated and then act that way.
Reply