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  #1  
Old 04-01-2012, 07:02 PM
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Default My 40 Year Old Brother In Law Pulled My 4 Yr Olds Son Pants Down Jokingly I Was Told

My son tells me recently he "doesn't like uncle *********"
I as his Father ask why?
He told me The uncle in law pulled his pants down clowning around.
Exposing his rear, I know for sure its not sexual, but its about the victim not the perpetrator. My son wants nothing to do with him and I am considering an Order of protection. The uncle has 3 DUI's.
What should I do, before I react the way any Dad would?

Last edited by Michael; 04-01-2012 at 08:39 PM.
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  #2  
Old 04-01-2012, 08:40 PM
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Michael Michael is online now
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Doesn't matter if you don't think it was sexual. Time for you to straighen him out.

Last edited by Michael; 04-01-2012 at 08:43 PM.
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Old 04-02-2012, 06:54 AM
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Why do you need an order of protection. Just do not leave your son alone or semi-alone with the uncle.
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Old 04-02-2012, 07:01 AM
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It is not appropriate behavior I know it goes on in locker rooms in highschool but he is much older than that and YOU do not want your son acting like that.

Calmly tell him it was not appropriate and your son did not like it. I would not leave my son with him alone again.

I could be wrong but it sounds like the other adults thought it was funny and laughed. And it gives me the feeling the adults were drinking.

Do you need an order of protection.... no... Do you need to take your child to visit relatives that act like this.... no. Should children be around adults that are drinking to excess... NO WAY
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Old 04-02-2012, 10:00 AM
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Kids dont like to be humiliated our embarrassed like that. Public humiliation is a form of abuse. I would tell this uncle he has scared your child and should be ashamed of himself. If he touches him again, after being told directly by you, call the cops.
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Old 04-02-2012, 11:57 AM
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I would cut off all contact with him and if uncle shows up at my home, I would contact police. This person would have NO communication with my son or my family at all.
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Old 04-02-2012, 05:16 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JenNJ View Post
I would cut off all contact with him and if uncle shows up at my home, I would contact police. This person would have NO communication with my son or my family at all.
Thank you so much for your reply I agree
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Old 04-02-2012, 06:10 PM
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I would call the police. Let them and CPS sort out if he is a sexual predator just starting out small (pulling down pants) with big intentions of sexual abuse.
I would not have any contact with the brother again.
That situation does not sound right at all!
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Old 04-02-2012, 07:04 PM
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is there some other suspicion that you would consider calling the police or CPS on this uncle? do you know him very well and think he might have been doing this sexually?

Otherwise, I think just keeping your son a part from him would be sufficient. I know some guys clown around like this and probably thought it was just funny and no big deal. I'm not saying I agree with this, just that that is probably what was happening. I have a lot of brothers and uncles as well as many guy friends growing up and this sort of stuff happened all the time between the boys....wrestling or playing basketball and try and pants another one to get a laugh and that sort of thing. Sounds like this was the case especially if it happened in front of other people. I would be suspicious if it was just the uncle and your son alone.

You are the mom, you have to do what you feel is right. But for the average person, getting the cops called on them or having a restraining order and accusations of ill intent is a big deal.
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Old 04-04-2012, 04:48 PM
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Default Thanks to all your input is truly apreciated

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Quote:
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom View Post
is there some other suspicion that you would consider calling the police or CPS on this uncle? do you know him very well and think he might have been doing this sexually?

Otherwise, I think just keeping your son a part from him would be sufficient. I know some guys clown around like this and probably thought it was just funny and no big deal. I'm not saying I agree with this, just that that is probably what was happening. I have a lot of brothers and uncles as well as many guy friends growing up and this sort of stuff happened all the time between the boys....wrestling or playing basketball and try and pants another one to get a laugh and that sort of thing. Sounds like this was the case especially if it happened in front of other people. I would be suspicious if it was just the uncle and your son alone.

You are the mom, you have to do what you feel is right. But for the average person, getting the cops called on them or having a restraining order and accusations of ill intent is a big deal.
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