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Old 04-12-2012, 12:09 PM
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Default Need Your Advice On How To Get Everyone Potty Trained ASAP!

So I have posted/commented a lot lately about how I am potty training 3 kids, ages 3, 3, and 4.

I am currently taking all of them every 2 hours, and taking them when they ask. I am rewarding them with 1 M&M if they pee, 2 if they ask, and 3 if they poop on the potty. They are asking some of the time, but even though I am taking them all day they still have accidents in between.

Both parents are really pushing for them to be trained. One DCM today brought dcb4 in just underwear, which he soiled (after 3 successful attempts though). The other kids are sibs, and the parents want them trained by the end of next month and said they are planning on just stopping using diapers.

How can I get them ALL potty trained ASAP? I am going to die if I have to keep living in the bathroom all day, on top of everything else I am doing. I just had my "morning" cup of coffee and sat down for the first time at 2:30pm today.

Tips everyone? Success stories for multiple children potty training?

I did the 3 day method for my kiddo and it worked like a charm, so I am new to this drawn out potty training method.

Anyone know how I can get them ALL trained in one day Potty training boot camp?

Specific instructions welcomed!!! I am willing to put in the work and effort if it will be successsful, but I can't keep this routine up for months on end so I need to get them trained.
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Old 04-12-2012, 12:11 PM
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Are the parents doing anything at home?
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Old 04-12-2012, 12:22 PM
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They tell me that they are.

The parents of the 3 year old sibs said that they are surprised they are having so many accidents here because they are doing great at home.

The mom of the 4 year old said that he was accident free all evening last night and woke up dry today and asked her to go. He occasionally asked her to go potty at their house. They use a little potty at her house, which I refuse to use here. I am not cleaning up after 3 kids with a little potty. (I didnt even do that for my own kids).
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Old 04-12-2012, 02:35 PM
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Anyone??? Help please!!!
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Old 04-12-2012, 02:41 PM
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ok this is me..

Firsrt, I go about every hour to hour half.

We have a potty schedule, everyone goes at potty time. Those training will be told to go at the times i have set. I used a rotating clothespin system with the kids name on it. I laminated a potty time chart so taht I can start over each day. I clip the clothes pins to the sheet. The name on the top is sent into go. I write down the time, their clip goes to the bottom of the list. Then repeat.

I also never use food as a reward. I find that kids will learn to expect it all of the time and are your really going to keep giving candy after they have it down? NO. I use a lot of verbal praise. What a fantastic job you did. Have all of the kids.

I also will not participate in PT a child if it's not being done at home.

Lastly, if the child's body is not ready and mature enough to PT, then you are beating a dead horse. They will go ONLY when they are ready to do so.
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Old 04-12-2012, 06:03 PM
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Sorry, I think you and the parents are putting way too much pressure on yourself and the kids. No underwear till they can go accident free for a full two weeks (thats my rule, I dont care how old they are and what supposedly happened at home). I dont do "we need them pottying asap" because all you can do is give opportunities. youre going to stress yourself out putting all this insane pressure on yourself. potty training normally takes time, especially when you are doing home and daycare. your own child had the benefit of you consistently working with her and the daycare kids have you and their parents.....its different. just give it time. If the kids are motivated, I think it could still be another month or two till they can do underwear at daycare. If they are not motivated or only partially motivated, it could be 6 months or more. Sorry, there is no magic button to push to get this done....if there was, moms a long time ago would have discovered it!
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Old 04-12-2012, 06:24 PM
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ok this is me..

Firsrt, I go about every hour to hour half.

We have a potty schedule, everyone goes at potty time. Those training will be told to go at the times i have set. I used a rotating clothespin system with the kids name on it. I laminated a potty time chart so taht I can start over each day. I clip the clothes pins to the sheet. The name on the top is sent into go. I write down the time, their clip goes to the bottom of the list. Then repeat.

I also never use food as a reward. I find that kids will learn to expect it all of the time and are your really going to keep giving candy after they have it down? NO. I use a lot of verbal praise. What a fantastic job you did. Have all of the kids.

I also will not participate in PT a child if it's not being done at home.

Lastly, if the child's body is not ready and mature enough to PT, then you are beating a dead horse. They will go ONLY when they are ready to do so.
That is brilliant! I like the visual/clothespin idea! That will help me and the kids remember!
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Old 04-12-2012, 06:38 PM
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Sorry, I think you and the parents are putting way too much pressure on yourself and the kids. No underwear till they can go accident free for a full two weeks (thats my rule, I dont care how old they are and what supposedly happened at home). I dont do "we need them pottying asap" because all you can do is give opportunities. youre going to stress yourself out putting all this insane pressure on yourself. potty training normally takes time, especially when you are doing home and daycare. your own child had the benefit of you consistently working with her and the daycare kids have you and their parents.....its different. just give it time. If the kids are motivated, I think it could still be another month or two till they can do underwear at daycare. If they are not motivated or only partially motivated, it could be 6 months or more. Sorry, there is no magic button to push to get this done....if there was, moms a long time ago would have discovered it!
I am putting a lot of pressure on myself! Part of the problem is that, all of the sudden, they are all determined at once to get their kids potty trained at all costs. I have a written policy that they must ask for 2 weeks before wearing underwear, which DCM of DCB4 clearly ignored. I let it go today because I thought, that since he is 4, I wanted to give him a chance to make the choice to go. I really wanted to support the child in his efforts! Now I am afraid I opened up a big can of worms

The other parents are set on their kids being out of diapers by the end of next month. One of the kids will ask to go, the other will follow if they see candy being distributed, but I am literally taking them to the bathroom all day long. I cant get anything else done!

At this point, I feel like I already let the parents dictate what is going on at my house (my fault, I know), and I am feeling a loss of control over my own business. I am doing "special" for everyone and it is killing me, since everyone wants it at the same time. I also feel like, since I already committed, that it is too late to un-commit to taking this on, hence me seeking a way to get them trained right away. I am afraid these parents are all going to bring their kids in undies and I am going to be cleaning pee and worse all over my house. Ugh- I am a people pleaser and an over-achiever, and I have always been able to conquer every challenge. This one is getting me though. I literally lost weight this week because I have been running around like crazy trying to please everyone. I run a group daycare, and everyone is treating me like their personal nanny.

I literally cried today. I cried to my husband, my best friend, my grandma... I really can't handle watching 6 multi-aged kids while potty training 3 of them. They are asking to go potty in between times when I take them, and I am taking them several times a day too. I am tired of spending my day in the bathroom. I am spending more time with THEIR kids than my own, which I am also upset about. My 1 year old and my 1 year old dcb have been so good and patient, but I need to give them more attention. I am doing this for MY kid, after all.

I can easily handle all of the kids normally, but I am spending hours cumulatively in the bathroom. I also do a preschool-inspired program, so I am teaching for a portion of the day as well. I am burnt out, but I feel like I have committed already to doing this and I don't know how to gain control back. I also feel that if I am taking them almost hourly, and they are still peeing in their diapers, that they clearly are not ready yet and we are forcing it. I am feeling a lot of pressure from the parents too. I have been doing daycare for almost a year now and this is my first experience with training other people's kids, so it is a learning process. I feel like I messed up and didnt put my foot down and I dont know how to fix it.
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Old 04-12-2012, 07:02 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SunshineMama View Post
I am putting a lot of pressure on myself! Part of the problem is that, all of the sudden, they are all determined at once to get their kids potty trained at all costs. I have a written policy that they must ask for 2 weeks before wearing underwear, which DCM of DCB4 clearly ignored. I let it go today because I thought, that since he is 4, I wanted to give him a chance to make the choice to go. I really wanted to support the child in his efforts! Now I am afraid I opened up a big can of worms

The other parents are set on their kids being out of diapers by the end of next month. One of the kids will ask to go, the other will follow if they see candy being distributed, but I am literally taking them to the bathroom all day long. I cant get anything else done!

At this point, I feel like I already let the parents dictate what is going on at my house (my fault, I know), and I am feeling a loss of control over my own business. I am doing "special" for everyone and it is killing me, since everyone wants it at the same time. I also feel like, since I already committed, that it is too late to un-commit to taking this on, hence me seeking a way to get them trained right away. I am afraid these parents are all going to bring their kids in undies and I am going to be cleaning pee and worse all over my house. Ugh- I am a people pleaser and an over-achiever, and I have always been able to conquer every challenge. This one is getting me though. I literally lost weight this week because I have been running around like crazy trying to please everyone. I run a group daycare, and everyone is treating me like their personal nanny.

I literally cried today. I cried to my husband, my best friend, my grandma... I really can't handle watching 6 multi-aged kids while potty training 3 of them. They are asking to go potty in between times when I take them, and I am taking them several times a day too. I am tired of spending my day in the bathroom. I am spending more time with THEIR kids than my own, which I am also upset about. My 1 year old and my 1 year old dcb have been so good and patient, but I need to give them more attention. I am doing this for MY kid, after all.

I can easily handle all of the kids normally, but I am spending hours cumulatively in the bathroom. I also do a preschool-inspired program, so I am teaching for a portion of the day as well. I am burnt out, but I feel like I have committed already to doing this and I don't know how to gain control back. I also feel that if I am taking them almost hourly, and they are still peeing in their diapers, that they clearly are not ready yet and we are forcing it. I am feeling a lot of pressure from the parents too. I have been doing daycare for almost a year now and this is my first experience with training other people's kids, so it is a learning process. I feel like I messed up and didnt put my foot down and I dont know how to fix it.
Its not too late to "uncommit"....send home a copy of your pottying policy highlighting what you can and cannot do with extra notes regarding the underwear issue and the fact that many kids find it challenging to master pottying away from home so it is normal that daycare may take longer than home. Make it positive with a note stating that you are happy to support the kids in this milestone but will be requiring all parents to abide by the policies they have already agreed to. Then you figure out what you CAN do as far as a timeline for pottying and stick with that. The kids need to learn to hold it and go at the regular times. They will potty train with that method if they are ready. There is no way you can continue going anytime anyone asks. They need to start working on independence.....undressing, pottying, redressing, washing hands without you there every second. That IS a part of potty training. Take the control back! It is very ridiculous that you are losing weight and crying every day over this.....there is NO reason you should do this to yourself!!!
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Old 04-12-2012, 09:17 PM
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You could always send them home with a copy of this book, and wish them luck:

http://www.amazon.com/Toilet-Trainin...4290396&sr=8-1

I actually used this book on my oldest when he turned 2 (he's 27 now) and it worked like a charm. What can I say - I was a very young mom with absolutely no clue how to potty train .

If you're lucky, they'll all come back perfectly potty trained and you won't have to stress about it anymore .
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Old 04-12-2012, 11:52 PM
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PT is a very difficult milestone to cross with your child or daycare children

Here is your out.
I tell parents only first stage of PT is being able to pull pants and pull up both up and down. The child also must be able to get on the toilet without assistance.
This is stage 1.

Then once that is mastered, I will try to have them go in at every 1.5 hours or when they say they have to go.
I will try for two weeks max. If I see no progress. PT is stopped. The child is not ready. I will give it a break and we will try again in 3 weeks.

IME every child I have every potty trained has taken about a week to PT. PT is one of the only things that as parents and provider we have no control over.
We can't control it and can't force it.

We also must take into consideration that their bladders and other parts down there must be fully matured in order to even start the process. This means that's the child understands what that pressure in their bladder or rectum is telling them and they can control the start and stop of both 1 and 2.

Right now tell yourself No more special. sTop tht right now. You are already on burn out. Follow your PHB to the T and demand your parents do the same
It's not too late.

I have done what you did and I get several cyber smacks from the Vets on here to get me to stop. Hugs to you and chin up. You can make it trough this.

Also. I don't care how old. Every child must wear protective lining over underwear until accident free for 2 weeks

Last edited by daycare; 04-12-2012 at 11:58 PM.
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Old 04-13-2012, 02:55 AM
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I agree with the others. It is not your responsibility to train them, let alone all three. It needs to start at home, and then when they understand the concept, it can start at daycare. I am a firm believer in that if a child is truly ready, it should only take a few days, not weeks or months. I also don't go for the "Well they do it at home" statement. In most cases I don't believe that is true. Good luck.
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Old 04-13-2012, 04:54 AM
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Thanks ladies, I do feel better after reading what you have to say. I hope today will be a better day! I am going to take them at intervals and see how that goes, and if it's no good then I will write up a letter for everyone at naptime and send it home with everyone to think about over the weekend.

I have a fear of losing clients when I don't cater to everyone. I have never lost a client and I don't know when I can draw the line and when I can stick up for myself. I think I am going to have no choice but to put my foot down on this one though, because I know for a fact that I cannot continue the current level I am providing. I need to remind the parents that I am a group care provider, not a personal nanny.

Oh the things we learn the first year!
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Old 04-13-2012, 06:10 AM
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THis is what I added in my contract about 2 yrs. ago- I will assist with potty training, but this needs to be started at home. The child needs to be making good progress and understand the concept of it before I will assist with it at my dacyare. Pullups are required at all times until totally potty trained(this means goes on their own without assistance and reminders from myself, and accident free for quite some time.
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Old 04-13-2012, 07:55 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SunshineMama View Post
Thanks ladies, I do feel better after reading what you have to say. I hope today will be a better day! I am going to take them at intervals and see how that goes, and if it's no good then I will write up a letter for everyone at naptime and send it home with everyone to think about over the weekend.

I have a fear of losing clients when I don't cater to everyone. I have never lost a client and I don't know when I can draw the line and when I can stick up for myself. I think I am going to have no choice but to put my foot down on this one though, because I know for a fact that I cannot continue the current level I am providing. I need to remind the parents that I am a group care provider, not a personal nanny.

Oh the things we learn the first year!
sweetie this is where you are wrong..... YOu are not in the service of catering to everyone. YOu are a business that offers a certain service, that may or may not offer what everyone wants or needs. AND that is ok.

Like me. I offer services for children 20 months to 5 years of age not enrolled in school. I have parents that have one child here and a younger child in a different daycare. I don't offer the service they need for littles, so they have to go else where.

It's like going to mac donalds and asking for a starbucks coffee. Do you really think they are going to go and get it for you so that they will keep you as a customer. Oh heck no. they will either offer you their services and products or tell you where the nearest starbucks is.

You can't please them all. If you start out this way with letting the parents decide everything for your business, you will be miserable. YOu need to read your PHB every day for the next few weeks. Go over it a million times if you need to so that it is drilled into your head.

Just recently, I got fed up with tons of BS that parents were trying to pull so I sent home a letter. I can share it with you if you would like. It was very strong and soft at the same time and guess what, no one got mad or left. In fact I got many apologies for their wrong behavior.

Who of your group is doing the best on PT and how long have you been trying to PT?
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Old 04-13-2012, 10:42 AM
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sweetie this is where you are wrong..... YOu are not in the service of catering to everyone. YOu are a business that offers a certain service, that may or may not offer what everyone wants or needs. AND that is ok.

Like me. I offer services for children 20 months to 5 years of age not enrolled in school. I have parents that have one child here and a younger child in a different daycare. I don't offer the service they need for littles, so they have to go else where.

It's like going to mac donalds and asking for a starbucks coffee. Do you really think they are going to go and get it for you so that they will keep you as a customer. Oh heck no. they will either offer you their services and products or tell you where the nearest starbucks is.

You can't please them all. If you start out this way with letting the parents decide everything for your business, you will be miserable. YOu need to read your PHB every day for the next few weeks. Go over it a million times if you need to so that it is drilled into your head.

Just recently, I got fed up with tons of BS that parents were trying to pull so I sent home a letter. I can share it with you if you would like. It was very strong and soft at the same time and guess what, no one got mad or left. In fact I got many apologies for their wrong behavior.

Who of your group is doing the best on PT and how long have you been trying to PT?
I would love to see the letter if you don't mind PM'ing me.

Today dcb4 came in undies again. I decided to let him have 1 more try, after having a little pep talk with him, and he has gone all day, (#1 and #2) on the potty. I put a diaper on him for naptime, so we'll see if he wakes up dry. After today's success I feel like he might have been able to potty train for a while but he chose otherwise. The mom apologized to me today for springing undies on me, and admitted that she really wasnt sure how to go about everything (AKA didnt read the contract) which did make me feel better. That little bit of respect from her made a big difference.

The other 2, 3 yr old sibs are the ones that I don't think are really super ready. The little girl will ask periodically (as of this week- which is progress here), but today she has been asking right after she pees in her diaper. The brother asks to go after she asks, but I think they are more interested in the M&M rewards. I have been doing this for 4 weeks with them. Their parents are the ones who are really pushing and have a set date (which imho is for them, not their kids). They do not understand that kids act differently in group care then with them.
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Old 04-13-2012, 12:44 PM
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When I first opened last fall I had 2 boys, 3 1/4 yrs old who were not quite potty trained. It took at least 4 mos for them to get there. It was absolutely exhausting. I just kept reiterating to the parents that this is something only they can control. For one boy, I believe it was physical control. For the other, he was using it to control his parents. When they finally let him have some time off (maybe a week), he was willing to do it after that. A parent saying they want their child potty trained by the end of the month is setting themselves and their child up for failure. It's just not something the adults can put a time constraint on.

Don't let it control your daycare. It seems to be working for you and DCB4 right now, and maybe DCB3's will come along with the peer pressure, but don't worry if none of them are quite ready. I really liked a PP suggestion of focusing for about a week at a time, then giving a break of about 3 weeks.
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