Unpaid But Inexperienced Helper?

[Melissa]

So, I posted an ad on Craigslist a few days ago because I have room for another DCK. Instead, a 19-year-old contacted me asking if he (yes, male) could help as an assistant one day of the week in my home daycare, no pay necessary as he just wanted the experience. He said he doesn't have any formal experience with children, but that he's always enjoyed being around them and would like to either get into babysitting or work part-time at a daycare. His dilemma is that no one will hire him because he lacks experience.

So, he wants to help out in my daycare to learn a little bit about childcare and what it's like. Seems like a plausible story, but I'm uncertain. I know many of you will say that if it doesn't feel right, don't go with it, and I probably won't. But now I'm curious, what would you do in this situation? Would you entertain the idea of having an unpaid but inexperienced helper (even if male) or would that be a no-go?

[Blackcat31]

Welcome to the forum!

Your statsu has been upgraded so you can post freely now

I would absolutely jump at the chance to have a helper (male or female) that wanted to work for free just to gain experience. I have had many college age students do volunteer work in my program and loved being able to have them there. I have never had a bad experience.

I know some may have issues with the fact that he is male but I do not. As a matter of fact, anything we can do to help intergrate men into the early childhood field is wonderful and I am 100% supportive of it.

My DH spends alot of time at my daycare and subs for me when necessary. My daycare families all love and trust him just as they do me.

Obviously whoever you have as a helper would have to pass a background check and be certified with CPR and first aide I assume.

Unless your gut tells you it is not a good fit, or there is some sort of obvious issue, I would not hesitate to take this situation on.

[Abigail]

You don't just wake up one day being 19 years old and want to get into being around children unless you've had SOME experience with family or friends or something. It seems too fishy and you were not even looking for help. The fact that he said Unpaid right away sounds like a way to get into someones house full of children. He's 19, not 12. KWIM?

If he was genuinely wanting to be a daycare helper or babysitter and knows no one will hire him he needs to be taking courses to prove it and find neighbors or people who know him to get started. That is what I would reply with also that you're not needing any help. He could take a first time babysitters course, first aid, and cpr and start helping family/friends. Starting to babysit isn't that tough no matter what gender you are or what age you are. I would stay away personally!

[Blackcat31]

Originally Posted by Abigail

You don't just wake up one day being 19 years old and want to get into being around children unless you've had SOME experience with family or friends or something. It seems too fishy and you were not even looking for help. The fact that he said Unpaid right away sounds like a way to get into someones house full of children. He's 19, not 12. KWIM?

If he was genuinely wanting to be a daycare helper or babysitter and knows no one will hire him he needs to be taking courses to prove it and find neighbors or people who know him to get started. That is what I would reply with also that you're not needing any help. He could take a first time babysitters course, first aid, and cpr and start helping family/friends. Starting to babysit isn't that tough no matter what gender you are or what age you are. I would stay away personally!

A few years ago, I had a couple high school students who were required to take a health/family living course for graduation requirements and had to do some time working directly with children in some capacity. Whether through volunteer coaching, babysitting or in a local child care. He and a friend came to volunteer with me for the semester. He had plans to go to college and learn finance/accounting.

He stayed the entire semester and decided after his experience there that he was changing his major and going to college to be a teacher. He had no experience with children and never even thought he even liked them until he took the course and spent some time in my child care.

So yes, you can wake up one day.....especially at 19 (when life is very uncertain and you dont' always know what is out there unless you try) and suddenly decide to get into child care.

I also believe wholeheartedly that people may not want to hire him due to his lack of experience. Plus the OP never said he didnt already take a babysitter course (which in my town is only offered to kids ages 12-16 ) or something similar and maybe if he likes the experience, he may decide to take college courses for ECE and go on from there who knows.

I just don't think he should be written off if he can supply a passable background check, take what ever things are necessary to be a helper in OP's state and if he can provide soem personal references as to his character, reliability and dependability....just like any one else wanting to get a job.

I just think he will have a hard time getting any experience at all since most people react similar to your post as if he should be avoided like the plague.

[Abigail]

If you're in highschool and have to do it, that is fine, but this is just random off the internet guy from a craigslist post. She wasn't even asking for help. He can easily get into a large center to volunteer or at church or with family/friends.

For a home daycare I would never invite some GUY OR GIRL into my home if I wasn't directly advertising for someone to help. If this person had cousins or neighbors or siblings that he has watched to give as a reference or people who had seen him around kids that is different.

I still don't agree that someone with NO experience being left alone around a child could just wake up one day and expect someone to take them into their home without knowing them. He should really try to find at least 1-2 people who know him or his family to give it a try then look into free work at daycares. Still too fishy.

[cheerfuldom]

Absolutely not. I would never allow a stranger around my kids. I would always suspect someone who contacted me and offered to do something for free. In my area, experience is not a requirement at many of the daycares anyway......just a willingness to learn, or at least the start of a college degree in some child related field. I would not believe a person who said they could not get a job at any daycare in the area. That would mean that they failed the very low requirements the daycares here have....a basic background check, a drug test, etc.

I personally would suspect a male that is eager to be around kids. I realize this is possibly an out-dated view but in my experience, an adult male that wants to be around kids that are not related to them is very suspicious.

[saved4always]

Originally Posted by cheerfuldom

Absolutely not. I would never allow a stranger around my kids. I would always suspect someone who contacted me and offered to do something for free. In my area, experience is not a requirement at many of the daycares anyway......just a willingness to learn, or at least the start of a college degree in some child related field. I would not believe a person who said they could not get a job at any daycare in the area. That would mean that they failed the very low requirements the daycares here have....a basic background check, a drug test, etc.

I personally would suspect a male that is eager to be around kids. I realize this is possibly an out-dated view but in my experience, an adult male that wants to be around kids that are not related to them is very suspicious.

I started out agreeing with you on that I would not allow a stranger into my home or around my daycare kids. People on Craigslist are not always on the up and up.

I do not, however, agree that any male who is "eager" to be around kids is "suspect". We have 2 young adult males who are working at our center. Both are very upstanding, trustworthy young men who have worked with children as volunteers in our church's children's program for a long time and are now working part time in the center. I know one very well as he is my son. He has really enjoyed working with kids through kids' ministries in our church and the kids love him. He is now considering majoring in Early Chiildhood Education.

[Hunni Bee]

I'd at least meet him. Who's to say he just "woke up" one morning and decided that he wanted to be around kids. He may have always liked kids and wanted to work with them, but being a young guy, was afraid to ask.

When I first started working at my center, we had some high school students who came to help out as part of a summer program - three guys and a girl. They were really good with the kids, and one of them stayed on after the program was over. He ended up being with us for about a year, and it kept him doing something positive.

I certainly agree with being very careful with who comes into your home, but I don't agree with writing him off just because he's a younger guy. If you meet him and something still seems off, then you'll have your answer. But I think you should at least interview him - you may end up gaining a great helper and making a difference in someone's life.

[cheerfuldom]

Originally Posted by saved4always

I started out agreeing with you on that I would not allow a stranger into my home or around my daycare kids. People on Craigslist are not always on the up and up.

I do not, however, agree that any male who is "eager" to be around kids is "suspect". We have 2 young adult males who are working at our center. Both are very upstanding, trustworthy young men who have worked with children as volunteers in our church's children's program for a long time and are now working part time in the center. I know one very well as he is my son. He has really enjoyed working with kids through kids' ministries in our church and the kids love him. He is now considering majoring in Early Chiildhood Education.

I did not mean to imply that ANY male that works with kids is up to something shady....my point was more that for me, I am suspicious of any male that is eager to be around kids that they dont know, approach others to be around their kids or help out, and have a random story about why they are doing it. I would be suspicious. That doesnt mean that I cant learn to trust someone once I get to know them. I wouldnt allow them to start coming in to be around the kids unsupervised. When I hire an assistant, I do a background and reference check, snoop around on their Facebook page, observe them with the kids, etc, etc. I never trust anyone ever upon first meeting them, especially not with my precious kids and daycare kids!

I personally would never hire a man to be my daycare assistant HOWEVER I know several men who are excellent teachers or sunday school workers. I still wouldnt hire them at my daycare because I know that my daycare parents would not feel comfortable with that. That is just where I stand on the subject. That doesnt meant that there is anything wrong whatsoever with a man doing a daycare or working at a daycare.

[countrymom]

I would meet him, and ask for references and a police clearance. If you like him, then start him off at a hour a week and work your way up. Your always going to be there so I wouldn't worry too much. He can start by wiping down all the toys, oopps, I need someone to come and wipe down all my toys.

[DaisyMamma]

Originally Posted by countrymom

I would meet him, and ask for references and a police clearance. If you like him, then start him off at a hour a week and work your way up. Your always going to be there so I wouldn't worry too much. He can start by wiping down all the toys, oopps, I need someone to come and wipe down all my toys.

Yes, this is what I would do.

[Blackcat31]

Originally Posted by countrymom

I would meet him, and ask for references and a police clearance. If you like him, then start him off at a hour a week and work your way up. Your always going to be there so I wouldn't worry too much. He can start by wiping down all the toys, oopps, I need someone to come and wipe down all my toys.

Great idea countrymom! What a nice way to find out if he is legit or not beyond the background checks and other things.

I have no issue with males in early childhood at all and am saddened by the reactions some people have in that regard.

[Buxterboo]

Originally Posted by Blackcat31

I have no issue with males in early childhood at all and am saddened by the reactions some people have in that regard.

I have a feeing that people would immediately say "yes" to this situation if it was a 19 year old girl...

[youretooloud]

My daughter had to do that in order to have "work experience" and use the lady as a reference for future jobs.

She helped a few mornings a week, for free, and in exchange the provider/preschool teacher gave her a glowing recommendation. (she was hired instantly once she had this work history)

She also volunteered at the local community club for work experience. These days, people aren't willing to hire kids (I can understand why) without a work history, and the only way to get work history is to volunteer.

If he's good, and is willing to do some training with you, it might be worth paying him a little bit.

[cheerfuldom]

Originally Posted by Buxterboo

I have a feeing that people would immediately say "yes" to this situation if it was a 19 year old girl...

No, I wouldnt say yes for the same reasons. I dont trust people who solicit ME and offer to do something for free. I dont trust strangers and would never allow someone that I have never met to just come in and start taking care of the kids. I would still do the same checks on a girl if I was to hire her as my assistant.

The only difference for me is that I personally put "female only" if I ever have to advertise for a daycare assistant. That is just my personal preference on it and what I know my daycare families would prefer. Plus I have two daycare kids (different families) who are deathly afraid of men in general. One has been here a month and still will not look at my husband, another was here for almost two years before she would smile at my husband.

[Buxterboo]

Originally Posted by cheerfuldom

No, I wouldnt say yes for the same reasons. I dont trust people who solicit ME and offer to do something for free. I dont trust strangers and would never allow someone that I have never met to just come in and start taking care of the kids. I would still do the same checks on a girl if I was to hire her as my assistant.

The only difference for me is that I personally put "female only" if I ever have to advertise for a daycare assistant. That is just my personal preference on it and what I know my daycare families would prefer. Plus I have two daycare kids (different families) who are deathly afraid of men in general. One has been here a month and still will not look at my husband, another was here for almost two years before she would smile at my husband.

I should have said "more people would say yes". I realize that people have different opinions, and I didnt mean to make that an "everyone" type of statement

[Meeko]

My son is my assistant. He's 27 and not married. He enjoys the kids and is wonderful with them. But I guess that some people see that as instant "perv".

Very sad.

I feel my day care is better because I have a man here. The boys in our care love having a guy to talk to...to throw a football with. Many of our kids don't have a good male role model in their lives. It's good for them to see a good upstanding young man.

We are a family group day care in every sense of the word. Males are part of families too. Males help raise children. Males are teachers and nurses.

Have I had a few parents turn their noses up at me having a man here? Sure...and I show them the door as soon as they say it. Their small-minded loss.

[daycare]

I would set up an interview at a coffee shop or some place other than my house. I would meet with the boy and treat him as I would any other person that I would interview.

I would make up some questions to ask and then ask the guy if he would be willing to pay for his own finger prints and background check, as well as ask for at least 2 personal references and 1 employer reference.

I have had several volunteers from the high school both guys and girls work with me so that they could get the volunteer hours necessary in order to graduate.

I will say this, the 2 guys that i have had help out have been way more hands on and into working than all 4 of the girls that have helped.

I say go for it!!! I get people calling me all the time asking if I am hiring and I have never placed an ad looking for help.