Off Limit(S) Words In Your Home

[daycarediva]

What words (aside from obvious swear words) are not acceptable to use in your home and which do you let slide?

Some of mine are:
retard/retarded
stupid
freaking/frickin (might as well be saying the F word)
fire



My dcm came to me last week concerned that dcb (JUST 2) has bad language. Specifically NO and MINE. I almost laughed. Those are the only two words he really has to 'defend' himself from the older kids when they want to take something. I LIKE that he will now come to me and say "Dat mine!" and point to a toy that some other child just snatched instead of hitting the kid (like before). Or saying "No" when I ask if he wants more food instead of whining and me having to guess. I thought 'no' and 'mine' were pretty standard toddler words. ?

[SilverSabre25]

Oh my...I wish you luck with that family! Those are ABSOLUTELY appropriate and good words for a toddler to have, in exactly the manner you just described, and for the reasons you described! I would explain gently to the parents exactly what you typed here...that those are important words for toddlers to use to defend themselves and get what they want/need or to NOT get what they don't want. It's important, it's not bad language, it's NORMAL.

Now if their toddler was saying, "No, that's mine, b**ch!" THAT would be a problem!

[DaycareMama]

In addition to the words you listed I also don't allow

Stupid
Idiot
someone telling another they will "kill" them
Any bathroom talk
your ugly
no gun sounds
aww h*ll
Darn ( I will try and get them to say sugar instead)
Fake burping
I don't like this (at meal time)
any words that put another child down


Lol i may have taken this a little too far but they are all things I don't allow.

[WImom]

Originally Posted by DaycareMama

In addition to the words you listed I also don't allow

Stupid
Idiot
someone telling another they will "kill" them
Any bathroom talk
your ugly
no gun sounds
aww h*ll
Darn ( I will try and get them to say sugar instead)
Fake burping
I don't like this (at meal time)
any words that put another child down


Lol i may have taken this a little too far but they are all things I don't allow.

I'm the same except I don't mind darn.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

We don't use unkind words towards one another.

[AfterSchoolMom]

Two that I didn't see on the list yet:

Shut up

and...

When I have older SA's here, I add "gay" to the list, since it's most often said as an insult.

[Former Teacher]

The boy that I just finished taking care (moved due to military) is 4 years old.

He was always saying WHAT THE?! I had absolutely NO idea where he got this from. He loves Disney's Cars movie. Turns out Mater the Tow Truck in Cars 2 says it. Yes Disney.

Maybe I am wrong but I just think WHAT THE? is inappropriate

[clep]

Originally Posted by DaycareMama

In addition to the words you listed I also don't allow

Stupid
Idiot
someone telling another they will "kill" them
Any bathroom talk
your ugly
no gun sounds
aww h*ll
Darn ( I will try and get them to say sugar instead)
Fake burping
I don't like this (at meal time)
any words that put another child down


Lol i may have taken this a little too far but they are all things I don't allow.

I am exactly like this except I also have:

good girl
good boy
darn (oh my gosh)
I don't like you
Your not my friend

[Former Teacher]

Originally Posted by clep

I am exactly like this except I also have:

good girl
good boy
darn (oh my gosh)
I don't like you
Your not my friend

Maybe I am having a brain fart

but how come you don't allow good boy/girl

Even I say that!

[clep]

Originally Posted by Former Teacher

Maybe I am having a brain fart

but how come you don't allow good boy/girl

Even I say that!

I say wonderful job or lets try again. I don't want children to be labeled good or bad based upon the views of others. To me it teaches children's self worth to be based upon outside sources which creates the exact opposite I want them to learn, and people pleasers at an early age. Their behavior isn't always acceptable but they are always valuable little people.

[Former Teacher]

Originally Posted by clep

I say wonderful job or lets try again. I don't want children to be labeled good or bad based upon the views of others. To me it teaches children's self worth to be based upon outside sources which creates the exact opposite I want them to learn, and people pleasers at an early age. Their behavior isn't always acceptable but they are always valuable little people.

Gotcha!

[DCBlessings27]

I have most of the ones that have been said as well. However, lately I've struggled with one phrase that a dcg says. "I'm sexy and I know it."

I just don't find it appropriate that a 3yo thinks she needs to say that. I know it's a song that people can't seem to escape from (a FB friend hates it, and she traveled all the way to South Korea and said she still heard it there).

[clep]

Originally Posted by katieica

I have most of the ones that have been said as well. However, lately I've struggled with one phrase that a dcg says. "I'm sexy and I know it."

I just don't find it appropriate that a 3yo thinks she needs to say that. I know it's a song that people can't seem to escape from (a FB friend hates it, and she traveled all the way to South Korea and said she still heard it there).

I play the u-tube parody "I'm Elmo and I know it". Super funny and Elmo dances. It has completely replaced he Sexy word even when my day home children hear it outside of the day home. Parents are pretty happy with the change.

[DCBlessings27]

Originally Posted by clep

I play the u-tube parody "I'm Elmo and I know it". Super funny and Elmo dances. It has completely replaced he Sexy word even when my day home children hear it outside of the day home. Parents are pretty happy with the change.

See, I played the Elmo version last week and at first dcg would say "I'm Elmo, and I know it," but then she started saying the "sexy" part again once it was in her head.

[nanglgrl]

***, now I know why my daughter says"what the?" all of the time! I don't allow:

retard
any cuss words
and racially, physically discriminating words
basically any words used to put another child down

I don't care about fake burping or farting (as long as they say excuse me)or gun noises. As far as the farting, they are just children and I use it as a way to teach some manners...I'm pretty sure if I let them fake burp and fart now they aren't going to be still doing it when they are adults. The gun noises to me it's just one of those things I don't fight about...just like if you don't allow guns in your daycare children will still pick up sticks, etc. and act like they are guns (even the ones who have never seen a gun before). I don't care about "good girl" or "good boy" because my children like to play like they are dogs on a regular basis so this would not work well for us. These are all things that have to be individual choices so we do not go nuts as providers. I know my aunt is from the south and can't stand it when a child calls her her name (they need to call her mam), I personally do not want anyone to call me mam!

[Sugar Magnolia]

"booooooorrrrrring"
"stuuuuupid"
"gimme that"

[clep]

Originally Posted by katieica

See, I played the Elmo version last week and at first dcg would say "I'm Elmo, and I know it," but then she started saying the "sexy" part again once it was in her head.

We played it alot!!!! Drove me crazy but seem to have worked. Maybe if you play it more? Haha

[jojosmommy]

Originally Posted by katieica

I have most of the ones that have been said as well. However, lately I've struggled with one phrase that a dcg says. "I'm sexy and I know it."

I just don't find it appropriate that a 3yo thinks she needs to say that. I know it's a song that people can't seem to escape from (a FB friend hates it, and she traveled all the way to South Korea and said she still heard it there).

I agree with the words the pp said but additonally I have a 6 yr old boy who says this all the time. I just say "not here" He gets the point.

Someone already posted it but I don't allow the gun sounds, fake shooting, die/dead etc obsession. Just annoys me.

I also don't allow any potty talk. One dcb says "bye buttface" everyday when he leaves. He never tries it here because he knows better but since dad allows him to do whatever he wants he says it on the way out everyday. Someday I am going to lose it on the both of them but until then I ignore.

[AmyLeigh]

Originally Posted by AfterSchoolMom

Two that I didn't see on the list yet:

Shut up

and...

When I have older SA's here, I add "gay" to the list, since it's most often said as an insult.

Yes, yes, yes.

[AmyLeigh]

Originally Posted by katieica

I have most of the ones that have been said as well. However, lately I've struggled with one phrase that a dcg says. "I'm sexy and I know it."

I just don't find it appropriate that a 3yo thinks she needs to say that. I know it's a song that people can't seem to escape from (a FB friend hates it, and she traveled all the way to South Korea and said she still heard it there).

That darn m&ms commercial! One of my boys reenacted it today, down to the whipping his shirt off. I did all I could to keep from laughing, though.

[Country Kids]

Originally Posted by daycarediva

What words (aside from obvious swear words) are not acceptable to use in your home and which do you let slide?

Some of mine are:
retard/retarded
stupid
freaking/frickin (might as well be saying the F word)
fire



My dcm came to me last week concerned that dcb (JUST 2) has bad language. Specifically NO and MINE. I almost laughed. Those are the only two words he really has to 'defend' himself from the older kids when they want to take something. I LIKE that he will now come to me and say "Dat mine!" and point to a toy that some other child just snatched instead of hitting the kid (like before). Or saying "No" when I ask if he wants more food instead of whining and me having to guess. I thought 'no' and 'mine' were pretty standard toddler words. ?

Is the child telling the parent NO? I can't handle when a child will tell me NO when I'm trying to correct them or trying to get them to do something. I have one thats getting really bad about it and I'm about ready to climb the walls. Anything you say to the child they respond with NO.

Maybe thats what the child is concerned about more then anything.

[spud912]

I'm pretty much the same as all of you. I guess the only thing that really irritates me that I try to curb is "I want ......"
I know it sounds silly to get irritated at something so normal to say, but I am really big on manners and I've got all the kids trained now to ask for something by saying "may I please have ..." for the bigger kids or "please ...." for the little children. They also have to respond to yes/no questions by saying "yes please" or "no thank you."

[Childminder]

Any whining words; IIII wantttt thattt! Givvvve meeeee!
Any tattling.
Potty words, at the table especially. These consist of everything that has to do with going potty; poopy, poop head, fart, wee wee, you turd, butt head, etc…
Stupid
Ding Bat
Kill as in "I'll kill you."
Dead as in "you're dead" or "Dead Meat."
I hate you.
Dumb dumb.

[EchoMom]

I had a SA say, "The baby's got a turd in his diaper!" I promptly cringed and said oh no no we don't say that, you can say "The baby's got a stinky."

My pet peeve, not a bad word but I can't stand it, is "sure." UGH!!!! Do you want to do an art project? Sure. Do you want me to make you a delicious lunch? Sure. I hate it because to me it communicates (when said in a flat tone) that the kid doesn't really care, take it or leave it, and that makes me so offended! If you don't really care then heck no I'm not going to drag out all the art supplies!

All my kids learn real quick that I expect No thank you and yes please. I even make my husband say it too and I had a fit when my husband said "Sure." to me, ugh! No way!

[Hunni Bee]

Im pretty much the same as you all. No bathroom words/sounds, no gun/killing talk, no saying they hate or dont like anyone, no girlfriend/boyfriend/sex talk, no insults (lately they've been telling people their breath stinks).

I also discourage rude talk ( shut up, duh, get out my face, etc) and saying someone is lying (we say "telling untruths" instead).

[nothingwithoutjoy]

Wow, I'm feeling pretty lucky; "my" kids have relatively "clean" mouths! I have very few hard-and-fast rules, but I don't allow "yuck" or any variation about food you've been served (b/c it's totally contagious, and all of a sudden no one wants to eat it, and also because it's incredibly rude when someone's gone to the trouble to cook for you.) And recently, I've been stopping them from saying "oh, my God!" which comes up all the time and is ok in most of their families, but is really not something I want my daughter saying.

[dave4him]

Yeah i try to keep all the 'mean' hurting words out as much as possible.

[Trummynme]

Funny story: Had mom of newly 2 yr old come in crying one day. I was concerned and, of course, asked her what was wrong. Turns out her 2 yr old had told her "no" that morning. I put on my best poker face and explained normal 2 yr old language.

Onto the words:

Stupid
Hate
Shut up
Dumb
Retard/retarded
Gay/fag
Idiot
Moron
Indian (when talking about Native Americans)
Negro/other n word
Chink

Racism runs rampant where I live, can you tell?

[familyschoolcare]

I do not allow not nice words icluding but not limited to I am going to kill/hurt you and Find then I will kill/hurt myself. I am talking with the parents of the biggest offender of that one and s/he is getting help.

I also do not allow Oh my god or any version of it, I do not call it a bad word I simply ask the children not to talk that way in my house untill the stop.

[dave4him]

My kids love using No, and they do it while shaking their heads too, funny children

[Hunni Bee]

Originally Posted by familyschoolcare

I do not allow not nice words icluding but not limited to I am going to kill/hurt you and Find then I will kill/hurt myself. I am talking with the parents of the biggest offender of that one and s/he is getting help.

I also do not allow Oh my god or any version of it, I do not call it a bad word I simply ask the children not to talk that way in my house untill the stop.

That's the other one - oh my God. I did get them to change it to "oh my goodness"...

[daycarediva]

Originally Posted by Country Kids

Is the child telling the parent NO? I can't handle when a child will tell me NO when I'm trying to correct them or trying to get them to do something. I have one thats getting really bad about it and I'm about ready to climb the walls. Anything you say to the child they respond with NO.

Maybe thats what the child is concerned about more then anything.

No, he doesn't say it to me (well, regularly anyway). That's exactly what I asked Mom. "Is he saying it to you?" "No,but he says it all the time now!"

[familyschoolcare]

Originally Posted by daycarediva

No, he doesn't say it to me (well, regularly anyway). That's exactly what I asked Mom. "Is he saying it to you?" "No,but he says it all the time now!"

Tell mom "No is an easy word to say and express a lot."

[Bookworm]

Shut up

What the heck-every now and then, I'll hear "hell"

Potty words

Anything with the word "kill"- this has gotten worse since the Avengers and Spiderman came out

Stupid

And answering an adult by saying "what"-being born and raised in the South, this really irks me.

[Sunshine74]

Originally Posted by Former Teacher

The boy that I just finished taking care (moved due to military) is 4 years old.

He was always saying WHAT THE?! I had absolutely NO idea where he got this from. He loves Disney's Cars movie. Turns out Mater the Tow Truck in Cars 2 says it. Yes Disney.

Maybe I am wrong but I just think WHAT THE? is inappropriate

That is one we try to discourage also. We (the teachers) have replaced the phrase in our vocabulary with the phrase "what in the world!?" We say it in an exaggerated tone, and of course the children have picked up the phrase too.

[Half-Pint Hide-Out]

My biggest irritation lately has been "I'm not going to invite you to my birthday party!" and "You're not my best friend!"...UGH!

[Blackcat31]

Originally Posted by Half-Pint Hide-Out

My biggest irritation lately has been "I'm not going to invite you to my birthday party!" and "You're not my best friend!"...UGH!

Yeah, especially the birthday party one.

Usually 9 out of 10 times the kid just had a birthday in the last 2 weeks and isn't going to have another one for a while!

[Kiki]

Originally Posted by Half-Pint Hide-Out

My biggest irritation lately has been "I'm not going to invite you to my birthday party!" and "You're not my best friend!"...UGH!

Haha, it's been that here too. Or this one- "When I get <insert something here>, I'm not going to share it with you!".

[MsMe]

Originally Posted by Former Teacher

The boy that I just finished taking care (moved due to military) is 4 years old.

He was always saying WHAT THE?! I had absolutely NO idea where he got this from. He loves Disney's Cars movie. Turns out Mater the Tow Truck in Cars 2 says it. Yes Disney.

Maybe I am wrong but I just think WHAT THE? is inappropriate

Thank you!!! I had a little boy start saying this a few months ago....and YES it went on the "do not say" list right away. I just thought he parents were saying it at home. He watches the Cars2 movie almost every night (I have never seen it).

I also don't say or allow Good/Bad-Girl/Boy. We studied and talked a lot in my CDA classes about how it can infuance a child to believe they are good only through your interpritation of their work ect. I NOT someone who thinks every child should get a metal or always make the team and I am all for keeping score. It was just explained to me that a child will seek out ways to get that "good girl/boy" praise even if it they don't find pride or joy in their actions just to get an adults approvial.

[MsMe]

We also get our fair share of you're not coming to my pary/birthday/house. It is soooo annying to hear this 20 times a day and then hearing the crying of the child that it was directed to.

I have noticed my niece says this A LOT and her parents think it is cute and funny. They even say it back to her and most everytime she says it they all laugh and repeat it back to her. So I am sure she also goes to daycare and says it (so I assume my DCP also maybe? do the same at home)

Sure it is adourable for the to say it and everyone to laugh, but in a daycare setting it gets out of hand....I wish paretns wouldn't brush off/ encourage bad behavior as cute.

Originally Posted by clep

I say wonderful job or lets try again. I don't want children to be labeled good or bad based upon the views of others. To me it teaches children's self worth to be based upon outside sources which creates the exact opposite I want them to learn, and people pleasers at an early age. Their behavior isn't always acceptable but they are always valuable little people.

I had an Child Development teacher that had a pet peeve about saying stuff like "Good job" or just "I like it" to children because she said it is an 'empty complement' and only focusing on the finished product and not the effort put into it. Also they hear this all the time and eventually they tune it out because it is overly used and it complements the finished project (like a drawing) not the person on their choices.

She perfers to complement their choices like "Oh look, you used all the colors from the crayon box in your picture", "You cleaned up your mess really fast", or "I can tell you put a lot of hard work into this" because she said it gives them a sense of accomplishment and makes them feel good about their choices (it helps them believe they are capable of making good choices) not just a short lived complement on the finished project that will go away once the project is over.

She said some children who are never praised for their effort would also try to do things they know they can do (not take any risks) only to fish for a complement like "good job" (they may be dependent/insecure and need approval for others)-it like giving a kid candy/toy to go to the bathroom and they regress and avoid the potty when you stop giving them a treat (in case you can't tell she's not a fan of giving tangible rewards (positive re-enforcement with toys/candy) or negative/possitive punishments as motivation either- because motivation need to come from the good feeling you get from doing it). But children who are complemented on their choices will try to take more (healthy) risks because they feel confident that they are capable of doing it without needed help, approval, or complements from others.

[Holiday Park]

before my niece
Learned "no" My sister said she didn't want her to learn the word and "be one of those kids that said no all the time" So she told everyone not to ever use the word no and instead say "tah tah!" If she touched something she couldn't have . She still ended up learning to say no and I couldn't remember to do the tah tah thing because sometimes she was just too fast and I caught myself saying"No-no" out of habit. Luckily she got tired of correcting people and it got old and she was over the phase of saying tah tah instead of no.

(See below) This is actually how I believe ! I was a kid with low self esteem who wasn't given enough praise like below and why I am not against "good boy/good girl"

Originally Posted by Unregistered

I had an Child Development teacher that had a pet peeve about saying stuff like "Good job" or just "I like it" to children because she said it is an 'empty complement' and only focusing on the finished product and not the effort put into it. Also they hear this all the time and eventually they tune it out because it is overly used and it complements the finished project (like a drawing) not the person on their choices.

She perfers to complement their choices like "Oh look, you used all the colors from the crayon box in your picture", "You cleaned up your mess really fast", or "I can tell you put a lot of hard work into this" because she said it gives them a sense of accomplishment and makes them feel good about their choices (it helps them believe they are capable of making good choices) not just a short lived complement on the finished project that will go away once the project is over.

She said some children who are never praised for their effort would also try to do things they know they can do (not take any risks) only to fish for a complement like "good job" (they may be dependent/insecure and need approval for others)-it like giving a kid candy/toy to go to the bathroom and they regress and avoid the potty when you stop giving them a treat (in case you can't tell she's not a fan of giving tangible rewards (positive re-enforcement with toys/candy) or negative/possitive punishments as motivation either- because motivation need to come from the good feeling you get from doing it). But children who are complemented on their choices will try to take more (healthy) risks because they feel confident that they are capable of doing it without needed help, approval, or complements from others.

[Scout]

dont' laugh...

fart

[snips&snails]

Originally Posted by clep

I say wonderful job or lets try again. I don't want children to be labeled good or bad based upon the views of others. To me it teaches children's self worth to be based upon outside sources which creates the exact opposite I want them to learn, and people pleasers at an early age. Their behavior isn't always acceptable but they are always valuable little people.

I agree

[CozyHome]

Where have they heard these words? DISNEY FILMS! Yeah, I said it!