Am I reading more into this?? Help.....

[wahmof3]

Had another interview today

They need care for a 19 month old. Monday-Friday 8am-2:30/3:30pm

Schedule is great, but they are not teachers like the rest of my DCF. So I am needing your wonderful words of wisdom on any red flags during the interview and not that I am being partial because they are not teachers kids. KWIM??

So phone interview was normal. We went over the basics and set up a face to face interview. The parent requested that the interview be done when I had DCK here so she could see her son interact with other kids.

We set up the interview for 10:30am today. I prepped like normal. Somewhat nervous because 2 of the dck here had not been here for a month because of vacation and we all know that kids act so different when other adults are here.

At 9:30am I get a call from the DCM that the DCB was asleep and if she could reschedule our meeting to 11am so she didn't have to wake him up and bring a grouch over. I said that's fine and thanked her for calling me.

At 11am no DCF, they finally pulled in at 11:20am. No call no apology for being late.

They came in not just DCB, Mom, & Dad BUT their current sitter/nanny as well!!!!!! Boy was I taken by surprise!!!

So DCM sits down and the first question was how do I do nap time. I was kinda surprised that it was the 1st question. She was VERY eager to let me know that he still takes 2 naps- one in the morning & one later in the afternoon. I told her my nap schedule and sitter asked when they usually ween off the morning. I told her in my experience that I try to start weening them out of the am nap at 15 months but its totally dependent on the child.

Ok so DCM proceeded to tell me that DCB plays rough because of his older siblings. Never asked about discipline.

Asked what it takes to be county certified, I told her in between the chaos of the DCK and their DCB hitting my other DCK and running all over my house.

Next question was talking about nap time, again.

We discussed a few other things, but not how I wanted it to go. Like going over my policy's etc. We never discussed payment, being late, flexibility, sickness, vacation etc. Never talked about my activity plans for the year (which I am very excited about). It was all a result of the chaos in the room. My DCK are normally very well behaved but today it was CRAZY.

Finally, DCM thanked me and told me that her & DCD were going to talk about it and would let me know tonight. Which is fine except the sitter asked me AGAIN if I would have a problem giving DCB a morning nap.

They were here about 30 minutes or so and the sitter asked more questions and listened to me better than the DCM.

I just don't know. I don't have the good gut feeling like I did with my last interview. I'm not sure if it's because they are not teachers and I REALLY like my light summers. BUT after this past summer I know I cannot afford another super light summer AND the family I start next week she is in the school system and will only have july off.

SO do you all see any RED Flags?????

I appreciate any advice and I apologize this was so long

[Meeko]

First off, they have no respect for your time as they arrived 20 minutes late with no apology. HUGE red flag in my book. Most people are on their best behavior when meeting for the first time. If your time means nothing to them from the very start......you are looking at trouble.

They should have asked if it was OK to bring the current sitter with them. An interview should be provider and parents. It is rude for them to assume they could bring over whomever they wished to your home without checking first. And it almost seems like they wanted to add some pressure on you by bringing her. There is no reason they couldn't have asked questions themselves. It's a bully tactic.

I get the feeling that they wanted to set policy as to nap time etc. You can rest assured it wouldn't stop there and they would want to be sure you went with their wishes on every other thing too.

That's my gut feeling anyway.

[Sugar Magnolia]

I don't know about this family......no real advice, just go with your gut if they will be a good fit.

[cheerfuldom]

they are used to nanny type care obviously and I would want to know why they are even changing to a daycare. there was numerous red flags here and I would insist on a regular interview, after hours before making a final decision. you need to interview them and let them know of your policies and expectations for the relationship.

[wahmof3]

The sitter/nanny they have now is a teacher and will be returning to school in a couple of weeks. So that's why they are looking for childcare. They made a point to let me know that they wish they could keep her but they couldn't afford to pay her the salary that the school pays her.

The more I think about the whole nap issue the more "clear" it becomes. My nap time is 12:30-2:30. They said DCB naps 9-11am and not again until 2 or after. WELLLLLL DCD will usually be here around 2ish. SOOOOO I think they want DCB to have that am nap here and take the 2nd nap AFTER DCD picks him up. Just a thought & to me it makes sense. BUT I am pretty strict when it comes to nap time & I WILL ween him off that am nap as soon as he starts- if he starts.

[littlemissmuffet]

For me, the whole interview was a red flag... and I would have began the interview expressing the importance of respecting MY TIME, so they realized that this whole process involves me interviewing them as well... not the other way around, as many parents think.

I am VERY clear about my policies and procedures so aprents only have to ask once and know I mean business. If a parent realizes I am not willing to budge they will either accept that or they will decide I am not the provider for them and move on. When parents ask about naps, I let them know that a child who still needs 2 naps can nap from 8-9am and then again from 1-3pm when EVERYONE naps - otherwise I cannot and will not accomdiate individual nap needs. Most parents accept this, but some won't.

The fact that this family kept pressing the nap issue indicates one of two things to me - you were too wishy washy with your answers, or they think they are the exception to your rules... which could very well be the case as they are used to personalized nanny care. HUGE difference from nanny to group care - this is something I go over at length with parents who are familiar with one-on-one care as opposed to a group setting.

[Former Teacher]

Originally Posted by cheerfuldom

they are used to nanny type care obviously and I would want to know why they are even changing to a daycare. there was numerous red flags here and I would insist on a regular interview, after hours before making a final decision. you need to interview them and let them know of your policies and expectations for the relationship.

I totally agree. It should be just you and the parents. They don't need to invite every Tom, Richard () and Harry to your interview. Why even bring the nanny? Once she's out of the house, she has no concern to the child anyway.

As for red flags, I saw A LOT of them myself. Go with your gut.

[Heidi]

I see lots of big, billowy, red flags too,,,

Next time someone asks you to an interview during waking daycare hours, the answer is "I would be happy to let you come visit when the children are awake, however, this needs to be done AFTER our initial interview. There are just too many things to go over, and the children here need my attention". or...something along those lines.

As far as THIS family, if they call you with a yes, tell them that there are still a lot of things to go over. When would be a convenient time for them to come outside of daycare hours?

[Blackcat31]

I think you already know the answer

[saved4always]

I agree with everyone else who has responded...the whole situation appeared to be one big, red flag to me. And it really sounds to me like this nap thing will be a problem. It does sound like DCD will want to put him down for his nap when he gets home. Your nap schedule would really cramp his style if he wants that naptime for himself.

[wahmof3]

Well, they have not called back. Any calls after 8p are going to voicemail: I refuse to be on call 24/7

Anyways- I REALLY REALLY appreciate all of the responses. THANK YOU!!!


I am very very torn. I DO see the red flags. BUT I do need the $$ and the hours are perfect for me. BUT will I be MISERABLE?????? Probably so. Even though I am very flexible but my business my rules KWIM???

IF they do call back- I will definitely tell them I need to meet with them during non-business hours to go over paperwork and contract AND I do think I am going to question their reasons for continually questioning nap time and make sure (which I already told them this) that I will ween him out of that am nap and into my nap schedule. If that doesn't work for them then maybe they need to find someone else that has more nap flexibility- like another nanny.

I have stressed about this all afternoon and evening. I need to be able to carry my share of the income yet I just don't have that good feeling with this family.

Ugh I just wish it was easy. Is it bad that I am secretly hoping they don't call back???????????????

[DayCareDynasty]

Hi! Almost sounds like the Sitter is trying to find out how to become a Child Care Provider... Just my observation.

In my experience, you can almost always expect the kids to be kind of chaotic when a parent comes to visit during DC hours unless the Provider have a planned art activity or something of that nature to keep their little minds and hands busy!

I hope everything works out for the best for you!

[jen]

Do you think that they had a couple of other daycares tell them that they don't give morning naps? That was my first thought...

As for being late, I have found that people think that since we home, time isn't an issue.

[saved4always]

[quote=wahmof3;252931]Well, they have not called back. Any calls after 8p are going to voicemail: I refuse to be on call 24/7

Anyways- I REALLY REALLY appreciate all of the responses. THANK YOU!!!


I am very very torn. I DO see the red flags. BUT I do need the $$ and the hours are perfect for me. BUT will I be MISERABLE?????? Probably so. Even though I am very flexible but my business my rules KWIM???

IF they do call back- I will definitely tell them I need to meet with them during non-business hours to go over paperwork and contract AND I do think I am going to question their reasons for continually questioning nap time and make sure (which I already told them this) that I will ween him out of that am nap and into my nap schedule. If that doesn't work for them then maybe they need to find someone else that has more nap flexibility- like another nanny.

I have stressed about this all afternoon and evening. I need to be able to carry my share of the income yet I just don't have that good feeling with this family.

Ugh I just wish it was easy. Is it bad that I am secretly hoping they don't call back???????????????[/QUOTE]

That is not bad at all...and I think that is another red flag that you should maybe pass them up.

[wahmof3]

Still no phone call from this family & I am very much ok with it!!!

In fact I had another call today for daycare!!!

I know its a SIGN!!! Even though I won't take this call today (infant, no room for an infant) It just reassures me that I will be ok without the crazy family

[saved4always]

Originally Posted by wahmof3

Still no phone call from this family & I am very much ok with it!!!

In fact I had another call today for daycare!!!

I know its a SIGN!!! Even though I won't take this call today (infant, no room for an infant) It just reassures me that I will be ok without the crazy family

Yay! It is always good to be able to realize that there is another family that is a better fit around the corner!

[wahmof3]

Parent called this morning when I was not home. She left a message just to call her. I need to return her call. Please help me word that I won't take her child.

Sorry I am just so worked up about this whole thing.

And ANOTHER red flag: DCM said she would call me Wednesday evening and its Friday and I am just now hearing from her.

Ugh help.......

[seebachers]

"Hi Mom"....just returning your phone call from the other day. I just wanted to let you know that I really enjoyed meeting you and "baby" yesterday and to thank you for taking the time to help me get to know your family dynamic. Unfortunately at this time, I don't feel that my daycare would be the ideal fit for your little one. I wish you all the best in your continuing search for the "perfect" place for "baby".

[Blackcat31]

I might even go a step further and add the underlined part,

"Hi Mom"....just returning your phone call from the other day. I just wanted to let you know that I really enjoyed meeting you and "baby" yesterday and to thank you for taking the time to help me get to know your family dynamic. Unfortunately, I was expecting to hear back from you on Wednesday like you said and when I didnt I assumed you were no longer interested and I no longer have space for your child. I wish you all the best in your continuing search for the "perfect" place for "baby".

I think it is important that the mom knows that SHE didn't follow through on what she said she was going to do and that is why she no longer has a chance to enroll with you. It just might help her be a bit more respectful to the next provider she interviews with....kwim?

[daycare]

Originally Posted by Blackcat31

I think you already know the answer

lol you are too funny