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  #1  
Old 07-22-2014, 09:13 AM
helpfullion
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Default How Old Is The Oldest You Have Had A Non Special Needs Child In Diapers?

Yeah sorry I haven't been around for a while been busy. But I read a comment on my question about diaper changes, one of the people that commented was surprised that a 3 year old was still in diapers. to me this is normal there are a couple like this at the daycare I volunteer at. So I am wondering how old is the oldest you have had a non special needs child in diapers?
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Old 07-22-2014, 09:32 AM
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The oldest Ive had was 3. It's not that big of a deal to me, they'll get it usually before they are 4 and I see no harm in waiting.
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Old 07-22-2014, 09:32 AM
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2 years and 9 months is the oldest I've had i diapers. I do not accept children into care or change children's diapers after age 3.Unless like you said,they have been diagnosed as special needs. I used to wait and let parents decide when they wanted to start potty training but if I left it up to some parents the kids would still be in diapers until they were four!
I put them in underwear between 2 years,3 months and 2 1/2. I've potty trained a lot of children in my careeer,literally hundreds and they are all using the bathroom well before age 3.
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Old 07-22-2014, 09:36 AM
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Mine all train well before age 3. I initiate at signs of readiness, and usually they are going here well before at home. I do have a special needs preschooler starting in the fall, so it might be longer- he is 3.5 yrs.
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Old 07-22-2014, 09:37 AM
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I find the longer a parent waits, the harder it is. Right now I have a child almost 4, not even close to trained.

The rest are all 2-5, everyone but the just turned 2yo is trained (she has 1-2 wet diapers/week here, so close!!)
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Old 07-22-2014, 09:48 AM
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Around 3 1/2. I will not take a new child over 3 who isn't potty trained, and all my kiddos must be potty trained by 3 1/2.
Like others, I look for signs of readiness. Once a child is about 2 1/2 I start changing them in the bathroom, standing up, I might have them sit on the potty while they wait for me to get their diaper ready...
I had a very odd experience a while back with older untrained kids that led to me this.
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Old 07-22-2014, 09:58 AM
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My oldest was 4yrs and 2 months before he finally trained. He was the second child and mom enrolled on a temp basis when he was 2 because he had to be potty trained to go to the expensive preschool down the street. So mom was pushing him from his 2nd birthday and he was not even close to ready. She did the "potty watch" that went off every 20 min. and threatening him with not riding the 4 wheeler. etc. so it totally hindered his process. The rest have been about 3. Mine were 2yrs and 5m both boys, but none of the parents wanted to continue my work at home so until they go often at home, I don't even try here.
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Old 07-22-2014, 10:08 AM
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Originally Posted by daycarediva View Post
I find the longer a parent waits, the harder it is. Right now I have a child almost 4, not even close to trained.

The rest are all 2-5, everyone but the just turned 2yo is trained (she has 1-2 wet diapers/week here, so close!!)
That's funny. All my own kids, I waited until they were almost 3 and verbal, and it took only a few days. With my first one, I tried several times before that, with absolutely no luck.

My sis is in the early camp, and her kids took forever to fully potty train. Sure, they used the potty, but if anything took them off schedule, like a vacation, they were peein' all over the place again.
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Old 07-22-2014, 10:41 AM
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That's funny. All my own kids, I waited until they were almost 3 and verbal, and it took only a few days. With my first one, I tried several times before that, with absolutely no luck.

My sis is in the early camp, and her kids took forever to fully potty train. Sure, they used the potty, but if anything took them off schedule, like a vacation, they were peein' all over the place again.


By longer they wait, I meant parents waiting well beyond 3. I get that it happens fast. First the kiddo is turning 3 and everyone is ok with the diapers and then BAM, kiddo is almost 4 and knows you want him to go but poops in his diaper to spite you.

Almost 3, awesome. Almost 4, not so great actually.
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Old 07-22-2014, 11:10 AM
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5 year old in diapers until he started 1st grade. He would pee in the toilet but poop in diapers only
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Old 07-22-2014, 11:59 AM
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My "typical" son (I have one with Autism) was four before he was out of diapers. My Autistic son was 8!
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Old 07-22-2014, 12:48 PM
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I had one that was a month away from hitting her 4th bday and still in diapers. Her older sister was being sent to the school nurse multiple times a day for urinating on herself in school and she wasn't able to wipe herself but I guess since she didn't wear diapers she was technically potty trained according to her mother lol
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Old 07-22-2014, 01:13 PM
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Expectations have changed so much in the past three decades
So maybe the saying "He/she won't go to college in diapers, so don't stress!" won't apply in a few more years
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Old 07-22-2014, 01:18 PM
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the oldest I ever had in diapers was 5.3 years old. The family claimed that the child had "genetic laziness"

I termed............
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Old 07-22-2014, 01:43 PM
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Expectations have changed so much in the past three decades
So maybe the saying "He/she won't go to college in diapers, so don't stress!" won't apply in a few more years
This particular "expectation" is subject to change with each child. Every child is different. I would not force a child to potty train who isn't ready. What good does it do them? What good does it do the provider?

I've seen many threads about providers who get irritated over parents who want potty train too early. They don't want to deal with the mess, they feel that the child isn't ready and that it makes the child feel bad to have so many accidents.

So, I'm confused as to why this seems to be viewed in such a "black and white" way.
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Old 07-22-2014, 09:09 PM
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the oldest I ever had in diapers was 5.3 years old. The family claimed that the child had "genetic laziness"

I termed............
Is there a story here? at 5.3 did he tell you if he needed a change? why had the family not tryed potty training?
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Old 07-22-2014, 09:32 PM
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I have an almost 3yr old who is big for his age but could be considered special needs? He had some sensory and verbal/physical/cognitive developmental delays but very capable in many other areas just seems to lack the cause-effect, sequence type connection in his brain. I had an almost 3yr old who didn't have any delays, just lazy/busy mom. We did it pretty quickly before going to preschool when he was 2y9m-ish?
My own oldest kids (twins) were 4... the rest all trained really easily and with lots of determination just after 2!
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  #18  
Old 07-23-2014, 03:29 AM
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Quote:
My sis is in the early camp, and her kids took forever to fully potty train. Sure, they used the potty, but if anything took them off schedule, like a vacation, they were peein' all over the place again.
I am not in the early or late camp - I feel I'm in the "just right" camp
The one child that I had who "potty trained" the earliest has the most accidents of any child I've ever had...Dad pushed and I wasn't thrilled. She was a little over 2. I still have to remind her to use the bathroom throughout the day (she's 4!)
I usually wait until the child is close to 3 or newly turned 3 - potty training rarely takes more than a week and we are in underwear by Friday. The last child I potty trained - he had just turned 3 but was reluctant to use the potty. Actually would tell me he didn't want to use it. So I did my "just sit on the potty for a few minutes while I get your diaper ready" routine. He peed one the potty and was done with diapers. Never had an accident again. I feel as though had I listened to him and didn't put him on the potty, he would still be happily going in diapers.
There is a world of difference between forcing a child and gentle encouragement.
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Old 07-23-2014, 03:51 AM
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Around here to go to public pre-k they are supposed to be trained. Because the cutoff date is December, that means the kids are between 2 years 9 months and 3 years 8 months. Many kids train in August when there is vacation from daycare.

I'm in the earlier camp and my kids were all trained by 3. The twins were the latest about 2 months before they turned 3, and their younger sister was not even 2 (they are 17 months apart and a few months after the twins trained she wanted to be like them). My son I trained the August he was 2.5 and he had a year before starting pre-k (Feb b-day and missed the cutoff). Not sure what to do with ds who will be 2 Aug. 1. On one hand he's still a bit young, on the other, I don't want to leave it until the last minute. I finish working Aug. 3rd and then my parents are coming to visit. After that I have about a week before back to work so I might give it a shot. If not... I'll take a long weekend in the winter.
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  #20  
Old 07-23-2014, 05:44 AM
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Originally Posted by CedarCreek View Post
This particular "expectation" is subject to change with each child. Every child is different. I would not force a child to potty train who isn't ready. What good does it do them? What good does it do the provider?

I've seen many threads about providers who get irritated over parents who want potty train too early. They don't want to deal with the mess, they feel that the child isn't ready and that it makes the child feel bad to have so many accidents.

So, I'm confused as to why this seems to be viewed in such a "black and white" way.
I don't think it's that complicated. I don't want pee and poop on my floor and equipment. I don't want to pay for staff time that costs WAY more than diapers to train a kid who is not ready.

I renovated my playroom before I moved out of my house. When we pulled the carpet it had two stains. I did daycare in that room for twelve years and had two accidents. That is a phenomenal record and shows I know how to train and NOT have accidents.
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Old 07-23-2014, 05:53 AM
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I don't think it's that complicated. I don't want pee and poop on my floor and equipment. I don't want to pay for staff time that costs WAY more than diapers to train a kid who is not ready.

I renovated my playroom before I moved out of my house. When we pulled the carpet it had two stains. I did daycare in that room for twelve years and had two accidents. That is a phenomenal record and shows I know how to train and NOT have accidents.



The oldest I have had is 3 1/2.
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Old 07-23-2014, 05:59 AM
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3.5 and that is my own kids. My cut off is 3 for daycare kids. I just cant handle changing diapers on a big kid and I have had several BIG kids at daycare. My friends have a 2.5 year old that is 40 lbs and untrained and I have had some bigger kids like that. Its too much for me.
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Old 07-23-2014, 06:38 AM
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I don't think it's that complicated. I don't want pee and poop on my floor and equipment. I don't want to pay for staff time that costs WAY more than diapers to train a kid who is not ready.

I renovated my playroom before I moved out of my house. When we pulled the carpet it had two stains. I did daycare in that room for twelve years and had two accidents. That is a phenomenal record and shows I know how to train and NOT have accidents.


With my own kids, accidents were few and far between. My oldest (who is special needs) wasn't potty trained until he was 5. My youngest (who is not) was over 3.
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Old 07-23-2014, 08:01 AM
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Personally, I'd rather change a diaper than clean my couch or floor. I typically just support what parents are doing at home, but I will not attempt to potty train a child whose parents are not 100% on board. Did that once and it was the worst 6 months of potty training I've ever done. Every Monday and Tuesday, dcg peed all over my stuff constantly. Wed-Fri she was back in routine and having no accidents. Went home for the weekend and I had to start over again every Monday. She was 3.5. I've never had one still in diapers at 4 though. My own son potty trained really early, but only because he initiated it. He was literally the kid who told me when he needed a diaper change at 15 months old. I'm sure you probably don't believe me, but he did. He asked for a new diaper at his dr's appt and the nurse practitioner's jaw dropped. She said, "You know that's not common, right?" lol I waited a few months to start potty training b/c he just seemed so young, but at 21 months I figured why not and put him in underwear. He was done before his 2nd birthday and I don't think we've even had an accident, poop or pee since he was 2 years 2 months. I say it just depends completely on the child.
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Old 07-23-2014, 10:12 AM
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Is there a story here? at 5.3 did he tell you if he needed a change? why had the family not tryed potty training?
nope he did not tell me.

the family was a wreck. lazy, young and just did not do what they needed.

no one cared at home so the kid didn't either

I believe that there was some kind of discipline involved when the kid did have accidents at home so there was a lot of negative association with PT at home which carried over to DC. kid was PT so there was no point in me trying if the family was not trying
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Old 07-23-2014, 10:36 AM
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nope he did not tell me.

the family was a wreck. lazy, young and just did not do what they needed.

no one cared at home so the kid didn't either

I believe that there was some kind of discipline involved when the kid did have accidents at home so there was a lot of negative association with PT at home which carried over to DC. kid was PT so there was no point in me trying if the family was not trying
So I'm curious at 5 shouldn't kids have some form of muscle control over when they go to the bathroom? I thought after two years of age they had "control" it was more of a mental thing not wanting to use the toilet and a little physical at least with pee or am I wrong?
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Old 07-23-2014, 11:22 AM
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So I'm curious at 5 shouldn't kids have some form of muscle control over when they go to the bathroom? I thought after two years of age they had "control" it was more of a mental thing not wanting to use the toilet and a little physical at least with pee or am I wrong?
if no one ever showed the kid to go pee some where else besides the toilet and it was OK to go in your pants then kids will just do what they know.

I have had a few kids that have said I don't feel like wearing diapers anymore I want to go in the toilet, but this kid was not one of those.

I don't know if there was anything medically wrong with the child. The reason I termed was that I told the parents at this age the child needed to be seen by his doc to determine if there was a medical reason he was not PT. They refused so I termed.

BTW this child was the size of a 7 year old, weight about 55lbs, so now way was I going to change a diaper of a child of that size unless there was a medical issue.
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Old 06-01-2016, 01:46 PM
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I have a boy that turn 4 in April this year. he just started today. he isn't potty trained and is about the size of almost a 6 year old. he barely talks and when I ask if he has to go potty he cries and says no. I tell him we need to change him he cries and says no. I don't want to leave him in a wet diaper all day ( yes diapers, not even pullups), but I also don't want to forcefully change him and make the whole situation uncomfortable.
any suggestions
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Old 06-01-2016, 08:17 PM
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I have one little guy whose mom says he is fully potty trained at home and even wears underwear for naps. Here, he will only use the potty once in a while.

The mom wants him to wear underwear here and she says he won't wet or poop in them. I've heard that one before from previous parents and will not fall for it again.

My policy is they have to go 2 weeks here with a dry diaper all day - no accidents - and then we can try underwear. If, during that two weeks, they have an accident, we start the 2 weeks over. And we don't do pull-ups - IMO, they are useless.
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Old 06-01-2016, 08:29 PM
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I train kids early and I just don't feel bad about it. I know it's a heated topic but a 3 year old in diapers is just not happening at my house :/ I absolutely will not change a diaper after the 3rd birthday and miraculously, every single family gets the kid potty trained by then. No accidents, no trauma, they just go on the potty.

Honestly, I'm start pushing for training at 2y3m and I get progressively more pushy as they get near 2y9m. At that point I have the "I will have to term if we can't get this done" chat and parents always get things rolling then.
I love these kids to death, I'm a peaceful parent, I run a great program, I'm loving and compassionate but I firmly and completely believe that children are ready to be potty trained by 3rd birthday at the absolute latest. After that, its parent laziness. And there's nothing wrong with parent laziness sometimes! I'm lazy about brushing my kids teeth. I skip it at least 2x a week because I'm lazy. Lol so I get t.

But when their parent laziness causes me to haul a nearly three year old onto a changing pad, I'm not a happy camper.
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Old 06-02-2016, 08:30 AM
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I care for 3.5 year old twin girls who are not really even close to being trained yet. I only have them one day per week though, so am not sure what their parents are doing at home with them.

I recently started attempting to train my 2.5 year old son and it is not going so well, so I have backed off.
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Old 06-02-2016, 08:45 AM
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4 years, 9 months. The child's parents had tried to train him way too young. He wound up with several blockages, and was very resistant to training. He didn't start using the toilet at my home until after the last blockage was resolved and I told him that I am done changing his diapers. Once he started changing himself, he started using the toilet. He has been using it 100% of the time here for about a month. At home, mom still changes him, and he still wears a diaper. She refuses to make him change himself, and she thinks I'm mean for not doing it. At home, he's also peeing in places other than the toilet or diaper: mom's clothes, the carpet...I don't understand why she puts him in a diaper!
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Old 06-02-2016, 09:40 AM
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I find the longer a parent waits, the harder it is. Right now I have a child almost 4, not even close to trained.

The rest are all 2-5, everyone but the just turned 2yo is trained (she has 1-2 wet diapers/week here, so close!!)
This is an old thread- and I just HAD to add that the child I was referring to above was terminated this year and was STILL not trained.
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Old 06-02-2016, 11:31 AM
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Nearly 4 (a boy). I have a 3.5yo girl here part time who the Mom has not even begun to try training so I'm waiting to see how that plays out.
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Old 04-11-2017, 02:01 PM
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I know a completely non special needs 11 year old who is still in diapers.
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Old 04-12-2017, 09:41 AM
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I've never had a typically developing child still in diapers at age 4.

I've found, in most cases...if you wait until closer to age 3, they tend to train very quickly. Before that...you're watching the clock, running them to the bathroom constantly..and YOU are the one that's actually being trained, lol. A kid that is really ready will be mostly trained in less than a week.
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Old 04-12-2017, 12:25 PM
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Nearly 4 (a boy). I have a 3.5yo girl here part time who the Mom has not even begun to try training so I'm waiting to see how that plays out.
After this post last year I had a 4.5-year-old little boy (the size of a 5/6-year-old) who was not potty trained. I asked if there were special needs after a certain point and they said no. Their Doctor told them it was normal. I said I have never had a child this old not be potty trained...

My new cut off for attending here and NOT being potty trained is 4.5. I issued this change in my policies (previously there was no defined age they must be trained by) while that family attended here. It was uncomfortable to change a child that old.
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Old 04-12-2017, 10:18 PM
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5!! we currently have a untrained 5 year old showing no instr est! drives me batty! mom says it will come with time.
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Old 04-13-2017, 06:32 AM
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5!! we currently have a untrained 5 year old showing no instr est! drives me batty! mom says it will come with time.
I had a nearly 5 year old who refused to train (his parents started him WAY too young trying to force train him). I finally stopped changing him. I told him that he could do it himself because he was too old for me to change him any longer. He was miraculously trained at my house after changing his own poopy diaper a few times. He didn't train at home until Mom put the choice in his hands a couple of months later by doing the same thing.
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Old 04-13-2017, 08:49 AM
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My own DC experience:
The oldest in my care was a 4.5 year old dcb who still used pull ups (held poop to the last possible second).

I do not initiate, nor am I responsible for potty training children. I support a "ready to train" child who has already started the process at home and been successful.
I require pull ups and I have the say as to when they stop using them here.

I do not believe there is a magic age or magic method. It happens when it happens and it's not worth stressing over.
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Old 04-13-2017, 09:13 AM
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I do not believe there is a magic age or magic method. It happens when it happens and it's not worth stressing over.
I despise these types of threads.

Attaching a number to a developmental milestone is not appropriate and does nothing but make those that don't fit into that time-frame feel like bad parents.

Yes, parental approach can definitely influence success or failure but toilet training is a personal and unique skill that everyone needs to develop at THEIR own pace.

The only role parents or providers should take in these process is knowing how to recognize signs or readiness and to support those needs as they develop.

When that happens, training takes only a couple days and is not painful, stressful or lengthy.
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Old 04-13-2017, 10:07 AM
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Originally Posted by EntropyControlSpecialist View Post
After this post last year I had a 4.5-year-old little boy (the size of a 5/6-year-old) who was not potty trained. I asked if there were special needs after a certain point and they said no. Their Doctor told them it was normal. I said I have never had a child this old not be potty trained...

My new cut off for attending here and NOT being potty trained is 4.5. I issued this change in my policies (previously there was no defined age they must be trained by) while that family attended here. It was uncomfortable to change a child that old.
I had a child almost 5, the size of a 6/7yo, not trained (or even close).

I now require children over 3.5 to be trained prior to enrolling. *I* am uncomfortable with it past that age.
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Old 04-13-2017, 10:13 AM
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I despise these types of threads.

Attaching a number to a developmental milestone is not appropriate and does nothing but make those that don't fit into that time-frame feel like bad parents.
Well said BC
Why do people feel the need to do this!?! I've never understood it.
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Old 04-13-2017, 10:13 AM
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I had a child almost 5, the size of a 6/7yo, not trained (or even close).

I now require children over 3.5 to be trained prior to enrolling. *I* am uncomfortable with it past that age.
My experience has anyone over 3.5 yr old not potty-trained not in the norm for my daycare. I have never had a child in a diaper or pullup beyond that age.
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Old 04-14-2017, 07:43 AM
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I know a completely non special needs 11 year old who is still in diapers.
I really find this hard to believe. Even if this child did not have any developmental delays to be still wearing diapers at 11 is not non-special needs. Could this child have some type of physical problem that causes loss of bladder or bowel control?
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Old 04-14-2017, 11:59 AM
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I currently have a 3.5 year old who has been showing signs of readiness for about 6 months. I have shared advice on how to potty train with her parents that I used with my daughters (potty-trained at 20 months, 2.3 years, and 18 months). The mom says the little girl is "just stubborn." She will go on the toilet sometimes when I put her on it, but she does not tell me when she wets. She weighs about 60 pounds and when she wets 2/4 times she wets completely through the diapers!! Also, diapers are EXTREMELY hard to get on her and she gets sores from where the diapers are too tight. I have mentioned that to mom as well and she says they just don't make diapers big enough. I want to suggest adult diapers, but I also want to push for potty training.
She does have a speech and language delay, but can say "wet" because I have been working on it A LOT with her. She is by far my most difficult child I have in my daycare and makes my days quite stressful :/
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Old 04-15-2017, 07:58 AM
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I currently have a 3.5 year old who has been showing signs of readiness for about 6 months. I have shared advice on how to potty train with her parents that I used with my daughters (potty-trained at 20 months, 2.3 years, and 18 months). The mom says the little girl is "just stubborn." She will go on the toilet sometimes when I put her on it, but she does not tell me when she wets. She weighs about 60 pounds and when she wets 2/4 times she wets completely through the diapers!! Also, diapers are EXTREMELY hard to get on her and she gets sores from where the diapers are too tight. I have mentioned that to mom as well and she says they just don't make diapers big enough. I want to suggest adult diapers, but I also want to push for potty training.
She does have a speech and language delay, but can say "wet" because I have been working on it A LOT with her. She is by far my most difficult child I have in my daycare and makes my days quite stressful :/
Is she wearing a size 7 diaper? I can put a size 7 on my 50 pound, 5.5 year old if I run out of overnight pull ups (he still wets the bed about 10% of nights).
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Old 04-15-2017, 12:06 PM
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Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
I despise these types of threads.

Attaching a number to a developmental milestone is not appropriate and does nothing but make those that don't fit into that time-frame feel like bad parents.

Yes, parental approach can definitely influence success or failure but toilet training is a personal and unique skill that everyone needs to develop at THEIR own pace.

The only role parents or providers should take in these process is knowing how to recognize signs or readiness and to support those needs as they develop.

When that happens, training takes only a couple days and is not painful, stressful or lengthy.
Every child is different. Even those from the same family. I have two boys and two girls. (All adults now) My second boy decided at 22 months that he wasn't going to wear a diaper and wanted to be like his brother (3 years older). My husband smiled and said "OK" (insert eye roll) expecting to have a mess ten minutes later. Never happened. The kid REALLY wanted to be potty trained! Good thing too, as he's a big kid. 9lb baby....a month early Now 32 years old, 6'4" with shoulders in different time zones...

My youngest daughter was days away from being 3 before she trained. She's a bit OCD about cleanliness...has been since a baby. I think she was saw diapers as "safe". She worried terribly about "making a mess" on the floor and wasn't confident enough in her own abilities.

Two kids...same parents...totally different potty training experience.
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Old 04-15-2017, 01:59 PM
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I had a 5yo dcb that was not PT, but 2yo dcd was. The parent babied the boy so much because when he was little, he had a small procedure to repair a murmur. While her doctor told her he could live life as normally as ANY other child, she would not allow it. She was in fear something would happen to him. When I got him, he could not even take off his own pants (sweat type!) or put on a jacket. He was completely reliant on her, according to her. Her daughter, however, was fully PT, was able to put on and take off shoes, place on a jacket, and much more!

When dcb was here, mom had admitted that she was very fearful to upset her son, and never let him cry. It was a night/day difference between how she treated both kids.

I didn't put up with that nonsense at my home. I told her that I would not favor any children, and what my expectations would be of him, being he was a fully-capable child. She said "OK" and signed him up.

The first week was so hard, he wouldn't do jack! The second week, he was doing a lot more, and by the 3rd month, we not only had him changing his clothes, but we finally got him on the potty. It took 6 long months, and a lot of fits, and some really disgusting artwork in the bathroom, a clothed shower, and a lot of stress, but things finally clicked.

I firmly believe if she had just treated him normally, things would have been easier on both her and her husband, as well as the child (and me!).

Sometimes, parents have to just admit when they are defeated and call in for some help. I guess in a way, that's what my former DCM did. He did not go to Kinder in diapers. He was very close to not being allowed to go. He was fully trained in July and school began that same August
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Old 04-18-2017, 11:35 AM
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Originally Posted by daycarediva View Post
I had a child almost 5, the size of a 6/7yo, not trained (or even close).

I now require children over 3.5 to be trained prior to enrolling. *I* am uncomfortable with it past that age.
Yes. It's far outside of my comfort zone and is why I put the 4.5yo age limit on it!
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Old 04-26-2017, 12:04 PM
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Is she wearing a size 7 diaper? I can put a size 7 on my 50 pound, 5.5 year old if I run out of overnight pull ups (he still wets the bed about 10% of nights).
She is finally in size 7, mom didn't think they made anything bigger than a 6, so I helped her look it up and found 7s. However she is not very tall and most of her weight is in her mid section. They are still very tight and dig into her sides.
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2014, educational neglect, emotional neglect, learned helplessness, medical neglect, potty training - age, potty training policy


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