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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>DCK's Bringing Toys From Home
broncomom1973 07:24 PM 12-10-2010
I have an almost 3 yr old dcb who is ridiculously spoiled. His mother has a degree in early childhood education. She is a young mother and just had her 2nd about 6 mos ago. The almost 3 yr old rules her. She absolutely can not say no to him. Apparently he does not like coming here in the mornings (he is perfectly happy after she leaves) so she bribes him with toys to bring here. Today he showed up with a portable DVD player. Are you kidding me? I said hows dcb today and she said "we had to use some bribery, the batteries probably wont last to long". I let him sit down at the preschool table with it and my ds who just turned 2 was so curious as to what it was. He sat down next to dcb and dcb freaked out, started wailing because my son was looking at Elmo on his DVD player. I was p*ssed. My son was being so good. He wasnt trying to touch it, he was just watching it from 2 feet away.

She (the mom) causes drama for me EVERYDAY. She is the mom who wont leave until she hands him to me. Yesterday I was getting my daughter some allergy medicine before she left for school and dcm tried to set him down but he started whining and she said "oh, you want (my name) to hold you". I sighed, like come on. I said "im trying to get my daughters medicine" and then she handed him to me. I am sooooo sick of it. I said "you are a big boy, you dont need to be held". How does someone with her education not know that it is OK to say NO sometimes? Next time she does this to me Im going to say "I know you dont like for him to cry, but honestly it doesnt bother me, so set him down and he will stop as soon as you go through the door".

And, back to the toy thing. It seriously is at least 3 days per week that he brings something. I usually confiscate it immediately after she leaves. I wouldnt have a problem with it if he shared or even let others see what he has, but he literally freaks if they even look his way. One of my dcg brought a zhu-zhu pet yesterday and I was shocked that her parents would send her with it, but honestly she shared it with everyone and they had a great time. If this were the case with him, I would be ok with the toy thing, but its not. How do you explain to someone who should know. Oh by the way, she is a consultant to home daycares, lol. She gives us advice when we have questions, like I want her answering my questions. NOT! Sorry for the vent.
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marniewon 07:38 PM 12-10-2010
Do you have a "no toy is to be brought from home" policy? If you do, print out your policy and highlight it. Hand it to mom, tell her that the next time a toy comes in to your dc, you will take it and hand it back to her to take with her. And then do it. Take it from dcb and hand it to mom. Yeah, he'll probably cry the first few times, but do you really want to deal with his selfish behavior when other kids want to "look" at it? If you don't have that policy in your contract - put it in there

As far as her having to hand him to you, he's way old enough to not need that. I would tell her to put him down and refuse to take him. Just make sure you are busy the whole time she is there so you can't take him. You might even want to put something in your handbook about that too - something about drop-offs being short and let child do x or whatever, whatever you say, make sure it's obvious to mom that you are not going to carry around a 3 year old! Very strange - and I agree, I would not want to take advice from her with the odd way she is raising her own child!
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broncomom1973 07:55 PM 12-10-2010
I will be making a policy on both the toys and drop-off this weekend. When she 1st started bringing him here (he was my first daycare child), she would take her shoes off and sit down and play with him for 30-45 minutes. Being my first time doing daycare, I didnt say anything and thank goodness her hours at work changed to 8 a.m. instead of 9 a.m. so she couldnt do that for very long. Talk about dragging out goodbyes, I mean really she caused the whole morning problem herself.
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SilverSabre25 08:56 PM 12-10-2010
The not wanting the other child to even look at it is a three year old thing--if you get a chance to read Louise Bates Ames' "Your ___ Year Old" books, they are a huge help and I find them to be very accurate. My 3 yo DD started this shortly before her birthday, and when she does it I calmly tell her that she can't control where other people look, and if she doesn't want to be looked at, she needs to go play in her room with the door closed (same floor as the daycare space).

As for how someone with an early childhood education can be so dense? Well, just 'cause she has the education doesn't mean she took much away from it, or that she's willing to apply it to her own kids, or that she attended class and made good grades, or that she realizes that not all kids are "by the book". Could be any or all of those.

I've had to squelch a few parents who have a hard time leaving their kid who's upset, and I just tell them, "He settles down as soon as you're gone. C'mon DCB, we're going to have so much fun today! Bye mommy! I'll see you later!" and basically shove the parent out the door.
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broncomom1973 02:13 PM 12-11-2010
Yeah, my 3 year old dd is always telling me "he's looking at me", or "she's looking at me", BUT she doesnt start crying and sobbing because of it. I tell her "well, dont look at him/her and you wont know he/she is looking at you". I also tell her that anybody can look where they want and she usually drops it.

As for dcb's mom, I agree that having the degree doesnt always mean a whole lot. She certainly does things her own way. The scary part is that she is giving advice to others. When I started this daycare (before I knew what her job was and what her degree was in), I told her that whenever I have questions I always call the daycare provider that cared for my girls. I told her I would much rather get advice from a very well-respected childcare provider who has been doing daycare for 20+ years than from some book. Then, she told me what her job was, lol. I meant it though. She is always bringing me lists of words NOT to say, like "no". Well, Im sorry but telling her son "keep the rocks on the ground", "keep your feet on the ground", "keep your hands to your side" really does not register to him. It honestly goes in one ear and out the other with him.

Now, I just need to get started on my little note about drop off and toys.
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Mom&Provider 03:03 PM 12-11-2010
I'd be telling Mom it's an issue...bottom line. If you have to explain that dcb is protective of the things he brings from home and it causes issue for the other kids who are curious to see what he has. Given her background, it shouldn't be hard for her to understand!?
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nannyde 04:44 PM 12-11-2010
Originally Posted by broncomom1973:
Yeah, my 3 year old dd is always telling me "he's looking at me", or "she's looking at me", BUT she doesnt start crying and sobbing because of it. I tell her "well, dont look at him/her and you wont know he/she is looking at you". I also tell her that anybody can look where they want and she usually drops it.

As for dcb's mom, I agree that having the degree doesnt always mean a whole lot. She certainly does things her own way. The scary part is that she is giving advice to others. When I started this daycare (before I knew what her job was and what her degree was in), I told her that whenever I have questions I always call the daycare provider that cared for my girls. I told her I would much rather get advice from a very well-respected childcare provider who has been doing daycare for 20+ years than from some book. Then, she told me what her job was, lol. I meant it though. She is always bringing me lists of words NOT to say, like "no". Well, Im sorry but telling her son "keep the rocks on the ground", "keep your feet on the ground", "keep your hands to your side" really does not register to him. It honestly goes in one ear and out the other with him.

Now, I just need to get started on my little note about drop off and toys.
Ah yes

The No "no" style of parenting.

When you tell the Mom "NO" she's not going to like it. I suggest you say "keep his toys at home" instead of "no toys from home".
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DCMomOf3 04:51 PM 12-11-2010
Originally Posted by nannyde:
Ah yes

The No "no" style of parenting.

When you tell the Mom "NO" she's not going to like it. I suggest you say "keep his toys at home" instead of "no toys from home".

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marniewon 06:29 PM 12-11-2010
Originally Posted by nannyde:
Ah yes

The No "no" style of parenting.

When you tell the Mom "NO" she's not going to like it. I suggest you say "keep his toys at home" instead of "no toys from home".
bahahahaha!!!

People seriously expect that no one will ever tell their little precious "no"? I'm probably just old-school, but I really don't get all the new "rules" in caring for children - it's almost like everyone is bending over backwards to never make the child feel, hurt, experience, etc. What the heck is wrong with the word "no"? Why do we coddle children? Even little ones can understand rules, but it seems that "childcare experts" want to keep that from happening, because we may "break their spirit" or "make them feel bad" or heaven forbid, we teach them to take responsibility for their own actions!

Warning: stepping up on my soapbox now. Do not continue if you don't want to hear it . When I was growing up, we respected our parents and other adults, whether they deserved it or not. We didn't go to school with knives and guns and kill as many as we could. We did not bully someone so badly that they felt they couldn't go on. We ate what was put in front of us, we got spanked when we did something wrong, we were taught to be responsible for our actions, and we were certainly told "no" when needed! Oh, and the ADULTS were adults and the kids were kids. Now we have a whole generation of "takers". Little ones who feel like the world around them owes them, never take responsibility for their actions, shooting up schools, bullying, killing themselves, etc. What do you suppose the difference is? Our parents and teachers and other adults were strict with us. Nobody is strict now, we are too busy *****-footing around the littles because the rules have changed. I don't believe in capital punishment in the schools, but when they did have it, there weren't disrespectful kids (or they weren't for long!), teachers had the control, not the students. Kids didn't bring guns to school to kill the people they hated. There was not the bullying on the level that you see today. I'm not saying that we need to bring back capital punishment, but I can't believe any expert really is spouting that we shouldn't tell kids no!

Stepping down now.

Like a pp said, I have several kids who just look at me funny if I tell them to "keep your hands to yourself" but totally understand if I say "no!"
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nannyde 03:38 AM 12-12-2010
Originally Posted by marniewon:
bahahahaha!!!

People seriously expect that no one will ever tell their little precious "no"? I'm probably just old-school, but I really don't get all the new "rules" in caring for children - it's almost like everyone is bending over backwards to never make the child feel, hurt, experience, etc. What the heck is wrong with the word "no"? Why do we coddle children? Even little ones can understand rules, but it seems that "childcare experts" want to keep that from happening, because we may "break their spirit" or "make them feel bad" or heaven forbid, we teach them to take responsibility for their own actions!

Warning: stepping up on my soapbox now. Do not continue if you don't want to hear it . When I was growing up, we respected our parents and other adults, whether they deserved it or not. We didn't go to school with knives and guns and kill as many as we could. We did not bully someone so badly that they felt they couldn't go on. We ate what was put in front of us, we got spanked when we did something wrong, we were taught to be responsible for our actions, and we were certainly told "no" when needed! Oh, and the ADULTS were adults and the kids were kids. Now we have a whole generation of "takers". Little ones who feel like the world around them owes them, never take responsibility for their actions, shooting up schools, bullying, killing themselves, etc. What do you suppose the difference is? Our parents and teachers and other adults were strict with us. Nobody is strict now, we are too busy *****-footing around the littles because the rules have changed. I don't believe in capital punishment in the schools, but when they did have it, there weren't disrespectful kids (or they weren't for long!), teachers had the control, not the students. Kids didn't bring guns to school to kill the people they hated. There was not the bullying on the level that you see today. I'm not saying that we need to bring back capital punishment, but I can't believe any expert really is spouting that we shouldn't tell kids no!

Stepping down now.

Like a pp said, I have several kids who just look at me funny if I tell them to "keep your hands to yourself" but totally understand if I say "no!"
I hope you mean "corporal" punishment.
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QualiTcare 05:26 AM 12-12-2010
i can only imagine what my kid's daycare teachers had to say about me....like:

"doesn't she know she's not supposed to say the F word?"

"doesn't she know she shouldn't beat them in public?"

seriously, i think people look for mistakes, or at least harp on them more/longer than if someone who wasn't a "child expert" had made the same or even worse mistake.

anyhow, she may be very good at what she does - but the rules change for your own kids. i can make 20 kids who don't belong to me stay on task, but can't make my own two act like humans sometimes. i'd be in a whole world of trouble if people based what i do with my own on how i handle others (see above)

in general, it is better to use phrases that don't always have "no" in them, but i don't think them thar experts are saying a child should never be told no.
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kendallina 06:32 AM 12-12-2010
Originally Posted by QualiTcare:
i can only imagine what my kid's daycare teachers had to say about me....like:

"doesn't she know she's not supposed to say the F word?"

"doesn't she know she shouldn't beat them in public?"

seriously, i think people look for mistakes, or at least harp on them more/longer than if someone who wasn't a "child expert" had made the same or even worse mistake.

anyhow, she may be very good at what she does - but the rules change for your own kids. i can make 20 kids who don't belong to me stay on task, but can't make my own two act like humans sometimes. i'd be in a whole world of trouble if people based what i do with my own on how i handle others (see above)

in general, it is better to use phrases that don't always have "no" in them, but i don't think them thar experts are saying a child should never be told no.
Bolded part- So true!

I don't have a no toy policy and it's been completely fine for us. But, I had a parent ask if it was ok that her LO bring toys to preschool and then she said, "He just gets so attached to something in the morning and I don't want to have to tell him no. You know?" Uhhh...no, I don't know. Because I have zero problem telling your child or mine No. Geez. I felt like making a no toy policy just because she said that to me and she needs to be able to tell her child No sometimes!
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countrymom 07:23 AM 12-12-2010
ask my own children how mean I am, I have no problems saying "no" I even tell the dck's "no" like the other week, mom picks up dcb (he's the sand eating kid) and you know what the kid does, goes and lays down in my driveway (its a graval driveway full of oil and grime--county living) and he starts to lick and eat the rocks off the ground, I kid you not, I have never ever seen anything like this, so I start hollering at him and his mom is laughing and is saying that he does it all the time, if she stops it then he gets mad. Are you frickin kidding me, (dh was home at the time and he even said that mom has to have a few screws loose)
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marniewon 09:37 AM 12-12-2010
Originally Posted by nannyde:
I hope you mean "corporal" punishment.
Ha ha ha.....yes, see what happens when I try to type when I'm tired?? LOL
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broncomom1973 11:05 AM 12-12-2010
Originally Posted by marniewon:
bahahahaha!!!

People seriously expect that no one will ever tell their little precious "no"? I'm probably just old-school, but I really don't get all the new "rules" in caring for children - it's almost like everyone is bending over backwards to never make the child feel, hurt, experience, etc. What the heck is wrong with the word "no"? Why do we coddle children? Even little ones can understand rules, but it seems that "childcare experts" want to keep that from happening, because we may "break their spirit" or "make them feel bad" or heaven forbid, we teach them to take responsibility for their own actions!

Warning: stepping up on my soapbox now. Do not continue if you don't want to hear it . When I was growing up, we respected our parents and other adults, whether they deserved it or not. We didn't go to school with knives and guns and kill as many as we could. We did not bully someone so badly that they felt they couldn't go on. We ate what was put in front of us, we got spanked when we did something wrong, we were taught to be responsible for our actions, and we were certainly told "no" when needed! Oh, and the ADULTS were adults and the kids were kids. Now we have a whole generation of "takers". Little ones who feel like the world around them owes them, never take responsibility for their actions, shooting up schools, bullying, killing themselves, etc. What do you suppose the difference is? Our parents and teachers and other adults were strict with us. Nobody is strict now, we are too busy *****-footing around the littles because the rules have changed. I don't believe in capital punishment in the schools, but when they did have it, there weren't disrespectful kids (or they weren't for long!), teachers had the control, not the students. Kids didn't bring guns to school to kill the people they hated. There was not the bullying on the level that you see today. I'm not saying that we need to bring back capital punishment, but I can't believe any expert really is spouting that we shouldn't tell kids no!

Stepping down now.

Like a pp said, I have several kids who just look at me funny if I tell them to "keep your hands to yourself" but totally understand if I say "no!"

I couldnt agree more. Dh and I always talk about how different the youth of today are. There is an attitude of entitlement, there is no respect for anyone other than themselves, and their lives revolve around themselves.
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broncomom1973 11:06 AM 12-12-2010
Originally Posted by nannyde:
Ah yes

The No "no" style of parenting.

When you tell the Mom "NO" she's not going to like it. I suggest you say "keep his toys at home" instead of "no toys from home".
Yes, I'll try to come up with something clever, lol.
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Blackcat31 12:17 PM 12-12-2010
Originally Posted by marniewon:
bahahahaha!!!

People seriously expect that no one will ever tell their little precious "no"? I'm probably just old-school, but I really don't get all the new "rules" in caring for children - it's almost like everyone is bending over backwards to never make the child feel, hurt, experience, etc. What the heck is wrong with the word "no"? Why do we coddle children? Even little ones can understand rules, but it seems that "childcare experts" want to keep that from happening, because we may "break their spirit" or "make them feel bad" or heaven forbid, we teach them to take responsibility for their own actions!

Warning: stepping up on my soapbox now. Do not continue if you don't want to hear it . When I was growing up, we respected our parents and other adults, whether they deserved it or not. We didn't go to school with knives and guns and kill as many as we could. We did not bully someone so badly that they felt they couldn't go on. We ate what was put in front of us, we got spanked when we did something wrong, we were taught to be responsible for our actions, and we were certainly told "no" when needed! Oh, and the ADULTS were adults and the kids were kids. Now we have a whole generation of "takers". Little ones who feel like the world around them owes them, never take responsibility for their actions, shooting up schools, bullying, killing themselves, etc. What do you suppose the difference is? Our parents and teachers and other adults were strict with us. Nobody is strict now, we are too busy *****-footing around the littles because the rules have changed. I don't believe in capital punishment in the schools, but when they did have it, there weren't disrespectful kids (or they weren't for long!), teachers had the control, not the students. Kids didn't bring guns to school to kill the people they hated. There was not the bullying on the level that you see today. I'm not saying that we need to bring back capital punishment, but I can't believe any expert really is spouting that we shouldn't tell kids no!
If we had an applause function, I'd be using it....just might even do the wave! I couldn't agree more.
I have an 8 yr of SA boy who is constantly pushing the limits. The other day he did something outside that warranted him losing his outside priviledge the next day...so his mother comes in the next morning and says to me; "Is there anything I can do so G***** can go outside and not lose that priviledge?" I was like, "Um, yeah, let him take responsibility for his own actions!" I couldn't believe she actually asked me that! The real kicker is that the mom is a family therapist that specializes in children's play therapy and behavior modification. Just goes to show you that just because she knows it doesn't mean she follows it!
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nannyde 12:42 PM 12-12-2010
Originally Posted by broncomom1973:
I couldnt agree more. Dh and I always talk about how different the youth of today are. There is an attitude of entitlement, there is no respect for anyone other than themselves, and their lives revolve around themselves.

I'm at 31 years of caring for kids and 17 in home child care. What is different now than it was a decade ago is that you have BOTH generations (parents AND child) being raised with entitlement. This wasn't as common or as hard to avoid ten years ago.

The younger parents (about 18 to 25) are the first generation I've seen where they had at least the teen years being raised in the "me" society. Now those people are having kids. They still want the "me" life but a child doesn't really allow that. They way they are coping is by saying "yes" to the child from birth on so that their "minute to minute" is as easy as possible.

So now we have the parents who are self centered and want instant gatification having children who are being raised with the same bottom line. Day care providers now have BOTH generations to deal with in their business. It's not JUST difficult or "spoiled" children as the O.P. said in her first post. This child also has a parent who is behaving badly with the provider. (requiring the provider to one to one the child on entry, giving her a list of things she can and can't say to the child, being told not to tell the child NO etc.) That IS misbehavior on the part of the parent. It LOOKS like an uber helicopter ... attachment parent but the truth is it is a misbehaving parent.

We've been taught that "parent knows best"... "it's up to the parent"... "the parent has rights"... etc. etc. so it's really hard to look past what has been pounded into us with child care training and state regulations and be able to see that in fact just because they have had sex, conceived a child, given birth, and had the money to access child care services .. it doesn't mean that THAT person isn't going to misbehave or behave poorly in your world. Having a child doesn't increase the persons chance of feeling less entitled.

At some point providers will have to understand that part of their role is breaking thru the entitlement the parent carries to your doorstep. Some experienced providers will be able to pick out parents who don't behave this way or have a lower liklihood of it... but the average every day provider will HAVE to deal with this issue most likely now... from the go. There really aren't enough "not entitled" parents to go around.

We aren't getting better as a society. Our place in the world has diminished drastically in the last ten years. We aren't producing higher quality individuals. We aren't gaining in education, financial, citizenship, etc. We are loosing ground in every core area of how a society can be measured.

The children are becoming harder to manage. The parents are becoming harder to manage. At some point it will all collapse if we don't have individuals one by one start dealing with the entitlement. We HAVE to do this in our business. We aren't just bringing up children. We have to set strong boundaries and rules for their parents also. We have to have the guts to look that parent in the eye and say "NO". I'm not going to do that. Children need to be told no with the word NO.

That parent needs to go from provider to provider and have one after another tell her NO. Unfortunately this generation of parents have to be managed that way. Not all of course.. but most by far. If you aren't up for it you are going to be an unhappy and unsuccesful provider until you get to the point where you can gain enough skill to weed them out in the first place.
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jen 01:26 PM 12-12-2010
I personally think teaching your kids what "no" means is the best gift you can give them. All through life they are going to hear NO.

No, you can't have the job
No, you don't get the raise
No, I won't date you,
No, I won't kiss you

It's good for you, it teaches you to work for and appreciate the "yes" even more.

My kids may not be perfect, but you know what...I can take my kids ANYWHERE. They will not beg, whine, or make a scene. You can take them to the nicest of restaurants and without a single doubt, they will behave. You can walk them through the toy department of Target and they won't even ask...well, they will ask to look, but they will not ask to buy.

I think that the reason so many people think its a hassle to take their kids to run errands, is because they failed to teach their kids the word "no." I love taking my kids with me. We have fun, because everyone knows what is expected of them.
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Unregistered 01:46 PM 12-12-2010
Originally Posted by nannyde:
I'm at 31 years of caring for kids and 17 in home child care. What is different now than it was a decade ago is that you have BOTH generations (parents AND child) being raised with entitlement. This wasn't as common or as hard to avoid ten years ago.

The younger parents (about 18 to 25) are the first generation I've seen where they had at least the teen years being raised in the "me" society. Now those people are having kids. They still want the "me" life but a child doesn't really allow that. They way they are coping is by saying "yes" to the child from birth on so that their "minute to minute" is as easy as possible.

So now we have the parents who are self centered and want instant gatification having children who are being raised with the same bottom line. Day care providers now have BOTH generations to deal with in their business. It's not JUST difficult or "spoiled" children as the O.P. said in her first post. This child also has a parent who is behaving badly with the provider. (requiring the provider to one to one the child on entry, giving her a list of things she can and can't say to the child, being told not to tell the child NO etc.) That IS misbehavior on the part of the parent. It LOOKS like an uber helicopter ... attachment parent but the truth is it is a misbehaving parent.

We've been taught that "parent knows best"... "it's up to the parent"... "the parent has rights"... etc. etc. so it's really hard to look past what has been pounded into us with child care training and state regulations and be able to see that in fact just because they have had sex, conceived a child, given birth, and had the money to access child care services .. it doesn't mean that THAT person isn't going to misbehave or behave poorly in your world. Having a child doesn't increase the persons chance of feeling less entitled.

At some point providers will have to understand that part of their role is breaking thru the entitlement the parent carries to your doorstep. Some experienced providers will be able to pick out parents who don't behave this way or have a lower liklihood of it... but the average every day provider will HAVE to deal with this issue most likely now... from the go. There really aren't enough "not entitled" parents to go around.

We aren't getting better as a society. Our place in the world has diminished drastically in the last ten years. We aren't producing higher quality individuals. We aren't gaining in education, financial, citizenship, etc. We are loosing ground in every core area of how a society can be measured.

The children are becoming harder to manage. The parents are becoming harder to manage. At some point it will all collapse if we don't have individuals one by one start dealing with the entitlement. We HAVE to do this in our business. We aren't just bringing up children. We have to set strong boundaries and rules for their parents also. We have to have the guts to look that parent in the eye and say "NO". I'm not going to do that. Children need to be told no with the word NO.

That parent needs to go from provider to provider and have one after another tell her NO. Unfortunately this generation of parents have to be managed that way. Not all of course.. but most by far. If you aren't up for it you are going to be an unhappy and unsuccesful provider until you get to the point where you can gain enough skill to weed them out in the first place.
Best thing I have read in months!!! Thank you!!!
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nannyde 01:55 PM 12-12-2010
Originally Posted by jen:
I personally think teaching your kids what "no" means is the best gift you can give them. All through life they are going to hear NO.
Yes and it is completely out of line to ASK a provider not to say NO to their child. It's rediculous, entitled, and UNSAFE. In order to protect a child from immediate dangers you HAVE to instill in them the word NO. Not the idea of "no" but the actual word "NO!!

Whatever happened in the Mom's life to give her the idea that she could exact that rediculous notion onto society is exactly where we need to look to fix this. If she wants to do this "technique" at home then that's between her and Jesus. Once she steps out of her door she will find that society will give her a "NO" by the time she drives down to the end of the street. That STOP sign is a NO. And the "no's" will keep coming for both her and her child. She doesn't get to pay a weekly fee to a provider and get to buy her way out of her kid getting a NO. NO amount of money would pay me to do that.
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Blackcat31 02:00 PM 12-12-2010
Originally Posted by jen:
I think that the reason so many people think its a hassle to take their kids to run errands, is because they failed to teach their kids the word "no."
Maybe the next time a parent calls and says "I am going to be late because I need to go to the grocery store first"
I will say "Yes it is difficult to take your child when they haven't learned the meaning of the word 'No' yet. I will see you in a bit"
The parent might not get what I mean but I will know. Your statement made me look at parents wanting to run their errands without their kids from a different view and it makes complete sense....
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melissa ann 02:28 PM 12-12-2010
I have a dcg who is also 3. Her mom does everything for her. Carries her insulated bag that has milk in sippy cups( I provide everything so this is not necessary and I take the milk out and put it in reg. cups), her blankets (again, I have blankets for naps)and at the end of the day carries our project. Girl does nothing.
After snacks/meals kids put their plates, cups etc in the sink. Even the 1 1/2 yr dcb does this. She does not. I'm always on her. Cleaning up is a disaster. I'm always on her to help clean up. Mommy does it at home. I don't care. You are not at home, and I am not your mommy.
She also brings in toys, electronic games. I have a no toy policy. I am not responsible for any broken/lost toys from home. When she comes, it goes straight to her cubby. She even had a dime in her hand one morning. I was like, I will take that. She got mad. I said we don't want "mikey" to swallow it. (the 1 1/2 yr old)
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Candyland 05:31 PM 12-12-2010
Just because someone has a degree doesn't mean they have common sense. just had to throw that in there.
Obviously, the young mom is moved by emotions. ugh; I'm sorry to hear that you're having so many problems with her. Just take control of the situation nicely, but firmly.
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broncomom1973 11:22 AM 12-13-2010
Thank you to all that responded Dcb came with a toy today (some hand held toy that lights up and makes noise) and I said "you need to take that when you leave because the DVD player on Friday caused a big uproar". I proceeded to tell her that dcb would not allow my son to look at it, but yet he didnt want me to put it away so as not to cause anymore problems. She seriously looked sad and asked dcb for it and of course he started whining, and she said you want to show (me) your toy, like the whole reason he brought it was to show it to me, NOT. She then took it out of his hands and he started bawling and I told her go on he'll be fine.

Befor the toy thing happened she walked in and said dcb is in his underwear (never done that before, he is always in a diaper) and said he was in underwear all weekend. OK, I said I would take him in the bathroom at least every hour and ask him if he needs to go every 30 minutes. Well, 30 minutes after mom leaves he is eating breakfast and pees on the preschool chair. Then I take him in every 30 minutes and of course he doesnt go for me but again potty's in the preschool chair during lunch, 5 minutes after I had asked him and 20 minutes after I took him in to try and potty. Ugh. I have no problem helping with potty training, but he needs to come in a pull-up not underwear. He peed through both pairs he had here today and has no more clothes. In my opinion, pull ups are for when they are training and underwear are for when they are pretty well trained in most circumstances. He is nowhere close to being potty trained yet.
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Tags:toys from home
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