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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>On The Subject Of Using Too Many Words
Josiegirl 10:01 AM 01-04-2017
This was mentioned in another post about kids not sleeping. There are so many trains of thought out there.
Talk it over. Offer to resolve the problem together; get their input. Explain the reasoning behind a rule. Losing privileges or earning rewards. Use less words because too often kids stop listening after the first few words and everything else just sounds like blahblahblah.
Stick them into time-out so they can think about it(which I'm pretty sure most don't). Separation.
So what really works for you? And for what type of situation? And what is developmentally appropriate for toddlers...preschoolers? Do you use more words if a child seems very smart for their age? Or do they really understand as much(or as little) as the others?
I know everybody's group is entirely different which makes it impossible for a one size fits all but I'm hoping for more ideas or at least some validation that what I do is okay.
Talk it over. Offer to resolve the problem together; get their input. Explain the reasoning behind a rule. Losing privileges or earning rewards. Use less words because too often kids stop listening after the first few words and everything else just sounds like blahblahblah.
Stick them into time-out so they can think about it(which I'm pretty sure most don't). Separation. So what really works for you? And for what type of situation? And what is developmentally appropriate for toddlers...preschoolers? Do you use more words if a child seems very smart for their age? Or do they really understand as much(or as little) as the others?
I know everybody's group is entirely different which makes it impossible for a one size fits all but I'm hoping for more ideas or at least some validation that what I do is okay.
Play Care 10:16 AM 01-04-2017
Seeing how that was me
I take a lot of different approaches depending on the kids, what the situation is, etc
But generally, the rules I have and the schedule we follow are pretty clear cut. The kids mostly grow up with me, so they know why it's rest time, or outside time, or bathroom time. A child asking "why" as a stalling tactic will not get a gentle answer
I also think it was telling in the other thread, that all the other teachers were able to tell the kids "nap" and they did...sometimes, kids need to hear about why nap is good for them, but never *at* nap time.
I talk constantly to the kids, engaging them in conversation, asking open ended questions, getting their input, etc. All the kids from babies to school age (honestly I do this so much with dc that sometimes nothing is left at the end of the day for my own family
) Part of the reason I do this is so that when I do have to be firm, they are so shocked they comply
I take a lot of different approaches depending on the kids, what the situation is, etc
But generally, the rules I have and the schedule we follow are pretty clear cut. The kids mostly grow up with me, so they know why it's rest time, or outside time, or bathroom time. A child asking "why" as a stalling tactic will not get a gentle answer
I also think it was telling in the other thread, that all the other teachers were able to tell the kids "nap" and they did...sometimes, kids need to hear about why nap is good for them, but never *at* nap time.
I talk constantly to the kids, engaging them in conversation, asking open ended questions, getting their input, etc. All the kids from babies to school age (honestly I do this so much with dc that sometimes nothing is left at the end of the day for my own family
) Part of the reason I do this is so that when I do have to be firm, they are so shocked they comply
JackandJill 10:19 AM 01-04-2017
I have found that a stern, loud voice stops a bad behavior immediately. Then depending on the age and understanding level, I will talk more about them with it. I do find though that the more I talk about it, the less effective it is.
"No, Johnny don't hit!" followed by redirection in a different area. Then as they settle in, "We don't hit, we don't want to hurt our friend. That would make them sad."
My age group is 18 months to 2.5 yrs. With my 5 year old the conversation obviously gets more in depth, but for my group right now this is what works.
I have a really well behaved bunch as well, so I might just be lucky that I don't have to deal with this much throughout the week.
"No, Johnny don't hit!" followed by redirection in a different area. Then as they settle in, "We don't hit, we don't want to hurt our friend. That would make them sad."
My age group is 18 months to 2.5 yrs. With my 5 year old the conversation obviously gets more in depth, but for my group right now this is what works.
I have a really well behaved bunch as well, so I might just be lucky that I don't have to deal with this much throughout the week.
finsup 10:24 AM 01-04-2017
Age/situation play a big part in this. Like for example, my 14m old would rather play with my Tupperwear cabnet then his toys. When he does, I say "no cabnet" pick him up and redirect him to another toy.
Let's say same senrio but it's my 2.5yr old getting into it. Then I would say "Emmy, that's not OK. Those are for our food, not for playing. I need you to put them back and find something else to do." If she didn't, I use the counting method. Works well with her. If I get to 3 it's a time out. I'll say "you are in time out because you did not obey when I told you to clean up." Walk away for 2 minutes, come back and discuss. I would say "tell me about what happened" she'll explain. I'll say "that's right, you did not obey so you got put in time out. What do we need to do now?" She'll say "say sorry, ask Jesus to forgive" "sorry mommy", then I will pray with her and last part is "how do we make it right?" She will then need to go over and clean up the mess.
Same senrio, 5 year old. I just have to give him a look at this point and he would stop lol. Then say "what needs to happen?" And he'd begin cleaning up.
Anyways, just some examples. When they're under 2 it's mostly very short, to the point. Over 2, starts getting more of an explanation and the reasoning behind something. With kids 4+ most rules have been explained enough so there's not a lot of discussion needed at that point. But if it's a new rule/situation or they just need a reminder I will discuss it more. We're talking typically developing kids of course, if a child needs it I will make adjustments. Like my dcb who's 3.5, he needed very short explanations for a while. If you tried to explain much more then "no, you need to stop now" you'd loose him. He's fine now but that took longer then most kids ive had.
Let's say same senrio but it's my 2.5yr old getting into it. Then I would say "Emmy, that's not OK. Those are for our food, not for playing. I need you to put them back and find something else to do." If she didn't, I use the counting method. Works well with her. If I get to 3 it's a time out. I'll say "you are in time out because you did not obey when I told you to clean up." Walk away for 2 minutes, come back and discuss. I would say "tell me about what happened" she'll explain. I'll say "that's right, you did not obey so you got put in time out. What do we need to do now?" She'll say "say sorry, ask Jesus to forgive" "sorry mommy", then I will pray with her and last part is "how do we make it right?" She will then need to go over and clean up the mess.
Same senrio, 5 year old. I just have to give him a look at this point and he would stop lol. Then say "what needs to happen?" And he'd begin cleaning up.
Anyways, just some examples. When they're under 2 it's mostly very short, to the point. Over 2, starts getting more of an explanation and the reasoning behind something. With kids 4+ most rules have been explained enough so there's not a lot of discussion needed at that point. But if it's a new rule/situation or they just need a reminder I will discuss it more. We're talking typically developing kids of course, if a child needs it I will make adjustments. Like my dcb who's 3.5, he needed very short explanations for a while. If you tried to explain much more then "no, you need to stop now" you'd loose him. He's fine now but that took longer then most kids ive had.
Josiegirl 03:21 PM 01-04-2017
Thanks! I'm glad to hear there is some 'stop that now' type of responses to kids' behaviors. Part of the reason I asked, yesterday while a dcm was dropping off her 2 kiddos, I was down on the floor saying hi and letting them say hi to the baby, who I was holding on one of my legs. Baby's 3 yo sister comes up behind her and pushes her really hard so she almost fell out of my hands. My response was a very loud and firm 'NO, You CANNOT do that!(followed by a bit calmer)you could have pushed her onto the floor and hurt her.' The dcm that was there at the time is a definite softie and doesn't like to tell her own kids no, always giving them choices, etc. So I felt that I was probably judged for my response but I had a knee-jerk reaction and sister's very rough with the baby at times. I try to react calmly but fail probably 25% of the time. 