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Unregistered 02:57 PM 01-17-2017
What do you do when parents start insisting that you follow a home schedule that doesn't seem to work here?

This is the third time I've had a parent telling me their just one year old is down to one nap at home, because they were napping shorter/not going to bed at night.

But here, the kid can't make it without being a pile of tears.

I feel like they think it's a "me" problem. It's not. I don't care if he naps once a day, if that's all he needs.

TIA
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Blackcat31 03:03 PM 01-17-2017
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
What do you do when parents start insisting that you follow a home schedule that doesn't seem to work here?

This is the third time I've had a parent telling me their just one year old is down to one nap at home, because they were napping shorter/not going to bed at night.

But here, the kid can't make it without being a pile of tears.

I feel like they think it's a "me" problem. It's not. I don't care if he naps once a day, if that's all he needs.

TIA
I do not provide services to children that do not participate in afternoon rest/nap time.

If a parent asked me to reduce or skip a child's nap, I would ask if that was their notice of withdrawal.

I also suggest the book "Sleepless in America" as it's a wonderfully informative book about parents that misread their child's sleep needs and what the remedy is for it.

I have also been known to offer a "no-nap" service but it's a fee of $50 per day (I have to pay an assistant to come supervise and entertain the non-napping child) so if a parent wanted to pay that fee, up front and in cash of course, I would be happy to have their child skip rest time while the other children rest. Unfortunately most parents pass on this option.

Basically though I don't provide services for kids that don't participate in afternoon rest time. If they have outgrown naps, they've outgrown my program.

I am group care and cannot replicate routines that originate at home where life is vastly different.
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Ariana 05:23 PM 01-17-2017
This is GROUP care. I provide a specific service with a specific routine. I am not a nanny and I habe more than their child in my care.

I would smile and nod and just do my thing. This is what I usually do because parents have no clue. I have told parents that I have stopped napping their kid, even when I haven't, and suddenly their kid starts sleeping better....go figure!
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AmyKidsCo 06:47 PM 01-17-2017
I usually transition children to just one afternoon nap when they turn 1, but sometimes they need 15-30 minutes in the morning to make it through. I don't tell the parents.
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Josiegirl 02:33 AM 01-18-2017
Originally Posted by AmyKidsCo:
I usually transition children to just one afternoon nap when they turn 1, but sometimes they need 15-30 minutes in the morning to make it through. I don't tell the parents.
Me too. I've had kids fall asleep in their lunch before. But I'd rather have a child sleep 1 good nap a day than have them up in the afternoon while everyone else is trying to sleep. Plus it allows us to get outside more in the mornings. That doesn't seem to be your problem though.
For some crazy reason, most kids buck nap time, sounds like parents just want their child exhausted at night so they simply fall in lala land with no crying.
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DaveA 03:50 AM 01-18-2017
Maybe I've gotten grouchy, but parents don't dictate my schedule. I will explain what I'm doing and why, but I don't accommodate requests like that anymore.
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Lovisa 05:56 AM 01-18-2017
Kids all nap here at the same time. Period. That is my ONLY break of the day and ain't no way anybody gonna mess with that lol. Plus, these kids play HARD and need their sleep!
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Play Care 06:19 AM 01-18-2017
"I'm sorry, this is group care and I am unable to make that kind of accommodation." Any further questioning would get a "it sounds as if my care is no longer working out for your family. I totally understand if you need to put in your two week notice."
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daycarediva 06:51 AM 01-18-2017
Originally Posted by Play Care:
"I'm sorry, this is group care and I am unable to make that kind of accommodation." Any further questioning would get a "it sounds as if my care is no longer working out for your family. I totally understand if you need to put in your two week notice."
Yup. I require children to be on MY schedule.

If the child needs a morning power nap, I would give them what they need.

I would explain to parents that daycare is VERY different than home. Home is laid back, sleeping in later, less hectic/busy, able to follow the individual child. GROUP care is waking early, busy, meeting the needs of multiple children.
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Baby Beluga 07:48 AM 01-18-2017
Originally Posted by daycarediva:
Yup. I require children to be on MY schedule.

If the child needs a morning power nap, I would give them what they need.

I would explain to parents that daycare is VERY different than home. Home is laid back, sleeping in later, less hectic/busy, able to follow the individual child. GROUP care is waking early, busy, meeting the needs of multiple children.
Yes!

I recently dealt with this. Mom said 12 month old was down to one nap but here he couldn't last past 8:30/9:00 without completely losing it. I ended up explaining to her my first job was to make sure all his needs were met and therefore I was going to implement a morning cat nap. 30 minutes in the morning got him through to our after nap and he was much better because of it. This lasted for a couple of weeks and he is down to one afternoon nap.

Do what you have to do. It's not fair to the child, you or the other children to deal with an overly tired child.
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debbiedoeszip 10:35 AM 01-18-2017
This is the reason why I'm seriously contemplating only providing care to SA children. Always a conflict with parents about napping due to the little one giving parents a hard time at bedtime. They don't seem to realize that bedtime issues usually have nothing to do with a lack of fatigue and everything to do with yanking parents chains LOL.

I'm also getting almighty tired of diapers, toilet training, kids coughing and sneezing right in my face, and toddlers who still constantly mouth everything. Thinking that before and after school, PA days, March Break, and maybe summers (for those not enrolled in day camps) might be more enjoyable for me.
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happymom 10:45 AM 01-18-2017
I just want to add that I found there is a transition period, where some days a 12-18 month old is FINE with just one nap and other days they need two.

So maybe on weekends the kid is fine with just one nap because he napped 5 days during the week. My son is currently in the transition right now, he has been transitioned to the 1s class so he is on 1 nap a day (which is slowly getting longer and longer)....but on weekends, he still very much needs two naps, and on week days he needs to be in bed very early because of the one nap. Personally I think he could still benefit from two naps every day, but I didn't want to delay him moving into the ones class if daycare thought he was ready.

I wouldn't give much information and just tell them you are working on transitioning to one nap. That way you can give him a second nap when you feel it's necessary (which may or may not be every day)
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laundrymom 11:00 AM 01-18-2017
I love happy mom.
That is all.
Happy mom gets it.
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KSDC 11:20 AM 01-18-2017
When I get these questions, I always remind the parents that their child is much busier at daycare than at home. Here we have lots of friends to play with, organized activities, lots of outdoor time. It all makes for a child who needs their nap!

Although, I have to admit, I love it when the one year old does give up the morning nap. It just frees us all up for more fun!
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Ariana 02:46 PM 01-18-2017
I agree with Happymom. My own kids went through a phase of a few months where they needed naps some days and not others. It can be hard to know with chronically overtired kids though. If I put my own kids down and they didn't nap I would know within a few minutes because they would be chattering away and then I would get them up. Overtired kids will cry and fuss in their beds so its easy to think they don't need that nap.

I agree though, just do what works for you and the baby!
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happymom 03:59 PM 01-18-2017
Originally Posted by KSDC:

Although, I have to admit, I love it when the one year old does give up the morning nap. It just frees us all up for more fun!
Me too! And thanks guys!
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daycarediva 09:19 AM 01-19-2017
Originally Posted by laundrymom:
I love happy mom.
That is all.
Happy mom gets it.


I like her suggestion, too. 'We are working on it'


I mean, if the child gets up earlier for daycare M-F, chances are they are going to need to make up that sleep time somewhere. If the child doesn't on weekends, they won't. Some days we ALL need more/less sleep.
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Unregistered 04:02 PM 01-25-2017
Hi Everyone,

Thanks for your input.

I tried explaining that I was working on it, but I was asked specifically for times of sleep.

I explained baby cried all AM and couldn't make it, as he had at home, and it wrecked his whole day.

I told them the next day that I asked other daycare professionals for advice, and told her I'd try the catnap.

It didn't work, even though baby ended up napping the second nap right on schedule.

On Friday I finally gave them an article on sleep regression, since baby was hungry and irritable all day long. I received a text after baby was picked up, telling me baby was refusing bed and she hadn't yet read the article.

But wouldn't you know it, Saturday baby took two naps on my schedule and went to bed fine! Trouble on Sunday, not Monday.

Mom finally agrees that this was sleep regression and baby is not ready to transition.

Thank you all, again, for your help!
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Tags:nap schedule, parents - don't communicate, schedule - conflicts
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