DCK Running Outside At Pick Up ...

[DaycareMom]

I have DCG who is 3. About two weeks ago, at pick up time, she started opening the door and running outside ... onto my deck and into the driveway and circling her mom's car, etc.

I have told her not to do this, I have expressed my fears to DCM about not wanting her to get hit by a car or hurt and she keeps telling me that DCG is fine and she can see her. DCG also will not say goodbye or acknowledge me or any of the other DCKs when she leaves.

The DCG has also started acting really mean and nasty at drop off. She will not say hello to anyone and will just whine/grunt at people when they try to talk to her. If I try to correct her behavior and tell her to be nice, she goes crying to DCM and DCM comforts her. WTH!?!? Teach your child how act right!

Bad manners are not acceptable to me and neither is running outside my home unsupervised, but it doesn't seem to bother DCM and she has not and most likely will not say anything ...

What would you do in this situation?

[daycare]

Originally Posted by MissChristie

I have DCG who is 3. About two weeks ago, at pick up time, she started opening the door and running outside ... onto my deck and into the driveway and circling her mom's car, etc.

I have told her not to do this, I have expressed my fears to DCM about not wanting her to get hit by a car or hurt and she keeps telling me that DCG is fine and she can see her. DCG also will not say goodbye or acknowledge me or any of the other DCKs when she leaves.

The DCG has also started acting really mean and nasty at drop off. She will not say hello to anyone and will just whine/grunt at people when they try to talk to her. If I try to correct her behavior and tell her to be nice, she goes crying to DCM and DCM comforts her. WTH!?!? Teach your child how act right!

Bad manners are not acceptable to me and neither is running outside my home unsupervised, but it doesn't seem to bother DCM and she has not and most likely will not say anything ...

What would you do in this situation?

two things..
1. read nannyde changing of the guard....Its on the home page. You can understand why the child acts the way she does during pick up and drop off time

2. Get a sign in and sign out log book. This will force the mom to come in and get the child. I would not allow for a child to run out of the door for one second.

[Jenniferdawn]

Ditto what daycare said. I'd also use a lock up high she can't reach and keep the door locked so it's impossible for her to get out. I have a dcb who liked to do the same thing. The lock did the trick.

[Mary Poppins]

Originally Posted by MissChristie

What would you do in this situation?

BTDT. I have a rule that the kids sit patiently on the stairs while mom or dad signs them out. Then they can go hand-in-hand out my front door all the way to their car. I make it clear at the beginning that I am responsible until the moment they sign out and even then, they are to be kept under control all the way to the car. It is my rule, like it or lump it.

Just last week, I had a dcm openly defy me on this. I was already having behavior issues with her ds and dcm comes in, sees him and his brother sitting nicely on the steps and gets them all riled up before even attempting to sign them out. I firmly stopped them, made them sit back down and reminded her nicely that they had to sit and wait - it is my policy. One we've been practicing for months now. She very rudely told me no, that's not how SHE wanted it. SHE wanted the "lovin" first, she said, and basically told me that was how it was going to be, then told the boys they didn't have to do what I said!



So, as she was telling me this new rule of mine *cough*, the door was open and dcb2 tried to run out, while dcb1 was hitting her as she was signing them out.

I didn't argue with her. I just said "bye boys!", held the door wide open, watched them get into the car and then wrote her a term letter the minute she left.

In my case, dcb was already on probation so she made the decision much, MUCH, easier.

[daycare]

Originally Posted by Jenniferdawn

Ditto what daycare said. I'd also use a lock up high she can't reach and keep the door locked so it's impossible for her to get out. I have a dcb who liked to do the same thing. The lock did the trick.

yes forgot to add that...put something to block the dck access to the front door. BTW I keep mine locked at all times....

[Kiki]

Originally Posted by daycare

yes forgot to add that...put something to block the dck access to the front door. BTW I keep mine locked at all times....

I keep my door locked at all times too.
I would just put an additional bolt up above the dck head so it can't unlock the door on it's own. While most parents might think it's ok for the kiddos to run around because they can see them, it only takes a second for something bad to happen.
I agree with the sign in/out log as well, it forces parents to come into your home to get their precious ones, mine is behind the door, so parents have to shut it to access it.

[DaycareMom]

Well, I always have my door locked until I unlock it to let DCM inside, at which time she stops literally in front of the door and hugs and cuddles DCG until DCG squirms out of her arms and runs outside.

Sign in/out sheet may work ....

Any advice for the rude and disrespectful behavior that DCM doesn't seem to have a problem with either???

[Blackcat31]

Originally Posted by MissChristie

Any advice for the rude and disrespectful behavior that DCM doesn't seem to have a problem with either???

Yes. You need to tell DCM in no uncertain terms that SHE needs to control her child AT ALL TIMES while on your property. You need to TELL (not ask) her that your rules say that ALL children will wait with a parent and be escorted to the vehicle by the parent.

You need to tell her that you will not allow a child to run free around other vehicles as it is too much of a liability and risk to not only the child's safety but to you as well.

DO NOT allow her to tell you the child is fine. If she wants to let her run around vehicles, she can do it at home in her yard not yours.

NO way would I allow that kind of behavior as it is a huge liabilty. If DCM can't get with the program and rules then for your safety you need to term her.

[DaycareMom]

I understand ... if it happens again - I am going to lay down the law.

I was wondering if anyone had any advice regarding her child being rude to me and the other kids - only when DCM is around of course.

When I try to correct her behavior and say "be nice" she goes crying to DCM and DCM comforts her ... she doesn't correct her.

DCG only acts this way in front of mom. As soon as mom leaves, she is hugging and kissing me and all the other kids and she is the sweetest girl, but when her mom is here, she is NASTY and very mean. It's like Jekyll and Hyde! So frustrating!!!!!!!!!!

[Blackcat31]

Originally Posted by MissChristie

I understand ... if it happens again - I am going to lay down the law.

I was wondering if anyone had any advice regarding her child being rude to me and the other kids - only when DCM is around of course.

When I try to correct her behavior and say "be nice" she goes crying to DCM and DCM comforts her ... she doesn't correct her.

DCG only acts this way in front of mom. As soon as mom leaves, she is hugging and kissing me and all the other kids and she is the sweetest girl, but when her mom is here, she is NASTY and very mean. It's like Jekyll and Hyde! So frustrating!!!!!!!!!!

If she is being mean in to the other kids at drop off, I would put her time-out immediately for her behavior....even if DCM is still standing there. You need to show the child (and the mom) how things run in your home.

If she is mean or rude to the DCK's when she is being picked up at the end of the day, I would personally escort the child to her mother and say the mother "Well, it looks like Janie has forgotten her manners so it is time to go! Bye bye!!"

If you say anything to the child, it only sends her running to mom so I personally would not say anything to the child but would say it directly to mom since she is now present and the cause of her child's misbehavior.

Saying something to the child, IMHO, only reinforces the fact that she is getting attention for her bad behavior.

Honestly, I don't mean this rudely but this is YOUR home/business and you have a right to reinforce your rules and not tolerate any rude or disrespectful behaviors from children or parents. I know having and using a backbone is tough but I promise you that if you do set boundaries and stick to them firmly, people will respect you more as well as follow your policies.

Things happen because you allow them to. Stop allowing them to...kwim?

Almost sounds as if this family (both mother and child) may simply not be a good fit for your program. If they can't follow your rules and be respectful.....then they shouldn't be allowed to stay.

[youretooloud]

If she's running out AFTER mom has walked in, I'd have the sign in/sign out sheet, AND have her sign something that says you are not liable if something happens to her while MOm is on the property.

If she's running out just because she sees her mom pull up to the house, I'd make darn sure she couldn't get out until Mom is in the house. I would stick her little butt in a highchair every day until mom walks in to sign her out, and release her from the high chair.

If I couldn't keep her inside before MOm walks in, I'd terminate on the spot.

I have a friend who's toddler was killed recently because he was running around the yard when Dad was backing up. It's a horrible accident, but it's really common.

[My3cents]

Originally Posted by MissChristie

I have DCG who is 3. About two weeks ago, at pick up time, she started opening the door and running outside ... onto my deck and into the driveway and circling her mom's car, etc.

I have told her not to do this, I have expressed my fears to DCM about not wanting her to get hit by a car or hurt and she keeps telling me that DCG is fine and she can see her. DCG also will not say goodbye or acknowledge me or any of the other DCKs when she leaves.

The DCG has also started acting really mean and nasty at drop off. She will not say hello to anyone and will just whine/grunt at people when they try to talk to her. If I try to correct her behavior and tell her to be nice, she goes crying to DCM and DCM comforts her. WTH!?!? Teach your child how act right!

Bad manners are not acceptable to me and neither is running outside my home unsupervised, but it doesn't seem to bother DCM and she has not and most likely will not say anything ...

What would you do in this situation?

Policy book- all parents are to come in and pick up children and acknowledge my presence and safely bring child to car. Sign in sheet works. A gate before entrance inside works. It slows them down and then when parent is in, you can shut the gate behind you to prevent the child from running back into play area- this works well for me. It sets up a barrier that says stay on the matt and it helps with transition. IF you can do this, great- Makes the parent in control of child. I often close my gate and put myself on the other side in play room area. Most parents don't want to stand there and try to control the child, so it moves things along. I don't allow kids outside with out parent or myself with them. I like the high chair idea. I also advise you to read NanDe's changing of the guard. Kids are smart they act out at this time because they know they can. Everyone is going to be polite and not ruffle feathers- until you ruffle feathers. Talk to parent and ask her to respect your rules. If she can't, or does not take you seriously, well is she ever going too? and this child will become out of control

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

I have the same issue with one 3-year-old. It's ridiculous.