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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Four yo Throwing Fits
Poptarts22 05:55 AM 03-23-2017
I have a Dcf who have been here one year. Dcg3 and her brother 4. He goes to preschool 3x weekly and here just after school those days. Other days full days. Sister is happy camper. Comes in laughing. Leaves laughing. It's all good. Brother has started the last month in tears at arrival. Mom states he doesn't want to come. Tells her he wants to go to grandmas or with her. Anywhere but here. While here he only wants to watch TV. Doesn't want to eat lunch. Cries if you expect him to do anything but the above. Even challenges me if he gets interrupted watching tv. Actually cried because I ran the vacuum and he could hear the tv. Until a month ago he wasn't like this. I offer VERY LITTLE screen time so it isn't like he expects to be a tv junkie here and I suddenly changed the rules. Kids spend long hours here. Mom will usually drop at 8am and pick up some evenings as late as 9:30. She works a regular job then teaches cheerleading and dance. On weekends they go to another sitter while mom travels for cheer competition for older sister. Mom and dad are becoming concerned over his unhappiness-but I am sure they will never admit it isn't me-it's them. Today sister arrived-as usual happy, but mom just said "johnny won't be here". I suspect he pitched a fit and went with dad-idk
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Ariana 06:22 AM 03-23-2017
Sounds like this little one is being abandoned all the time and can't seem to adjust. I assume the girl is in cheerleading and gets to spend more time with mom?

Not much you can do here if the family is not going to change. I personally would not have a chikd in my care from 8am-9pm. Waaaay too much time away from family.
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Poptarts22 06:48 AM 03-23-2017
No-the girl is also abandoned-the older (16 yo) sister gets all moms attention.
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childcaremom 06:51 AM 03-23-2017
Originally Posted by Poptarts22:
I have a Dcf who have been here one year. Dcg3 and her brother 4. He goes to preschool 3x weekly and here just after school those days. Other days full days. Sister is happy camper. Comes in laughing. Leaves laughing. It's all good. Brother has started the last month in tears at arrival. Mom states he doesn't want to come. Tells her he wants to go to grandmas or with her. Anywhere but here. While here he only wants to watch TV. Doesn't want to eat lunch. Cries if you expect him to do anything but the above. Even challenges me if he gets interrupted watching tv. Actually cried because I ran the vacuum and he could hear the tv. Until a month ago he wasn't like this. I offer VERY LITTLE screen time so it isn't like he expects to be a tv junkie here and I suddenly changed the rules. Kids spend long hours here. Mom will usually drop at 8am and pick up some evenings as late as 9:30. She works a regular job then teaches cheerleading and dance. On weekends they go to another sitter while mom travels for cheer competition for older sister. Mom and dad are becoming concerned over his unhappiness-but I am sure they will never admit it isn't me-it's them. Today sister arrived-as usual happy, but mom just said "johnny won't be here". I suspect he pitched a fit and went with dad-idk
"It's a very long day for him. Let me know if you want to talk about shortening hours of enrollment."
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Mike 06:51 AM 03-23-2017
Originally Posted by Ariana:
Sounds like this little one is being abandoned all the time and can't seem to adjust. I assume the girl is in cheerleading and gets to spend more time with mom?

Not much you can do here if the family is not going to change. I personally would not have a chikd in my care from 8am-9pm. Waaaay too much time away from family.
That many hours is crazy, unless it were due to a 3 day/week 12 hour shift job, but 5 days a week, then elsewhere on weekends too. They should just give the kids up for adoption.

I'm betting Ariana is right. What little time they do spend with parents, mom is probably doing more with the girl, like cheerleading fun. The boy is very unhappy for a good reason.
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Blackcat31 07:02 AM 03-23-2017
Originally Posted by childcaremom:
"It's a very long day for him. Let me know if you want to talk about shortening hours of enrollment."
This!

I wouldn't put any stock into him saying he doesn't want to come. It's not about daycare or not liking something happening at daycare.....it's about him not wanting to come because he wants to spend time with his parent(s).

I too agree with Ariana and would never agree to keep a child in care that long. It just creates too many issues and rarely are those issue worth the money you make from keeping a kid that long.

I feel so bad for kids like that.
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Poptarts22 07:52 AM 03-23-2017
And to top it off, I saw in FB that they just adopted a puppy! You don't have time to mother your kids, are gone 16-18 hrs a day and not home on weekends. Yeah, a puppy is JUST what you need!!
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Mike 08:16 AM 03-23-2017
Originally Posted by Poptarts22:
And to top it off, I saw in FB that they just adopted a puppy! You don't have time to mother your kids, are gone 16-18 hrs a day and not home on weekends. Yeah, a puppy is JUST what you need!!
Maybe they're going to ask you if the puppy can go with the kids.
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daycare 09:17 AM 03-23-2017
awe poor kids.

sounds like there is no consistency with the child's schedule outside of your care. The poor child can't feel secure if they don't know what to expect. I feel exhausted just reading what you wrote and I would be emotionally uneasy as well.

Children need things to be predictable to feel safe. AND of course, these parents sound like they just want to point the finger at someone else so they dont' feel bad about what they are doing.

Is there any way that the family could go to your program 5 days a week and cut out all the other crazy stuff?

I would even maybe go as far as saying, he either goes to my program 5 days or to the preschool program 5 days.

The sister is proof it's not your place.
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