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Unregistered 09:03 PM 05-06-2017
I have some questions concerning bankruptcy. This may be off topic and I do understand that none of you are lawyers, but I'm in a bad situation so I need some direction. My husband recently lost his job of 25 years and that really put a BIG strain on our finances. While we both were working I filed with my state an LLC to open a daycare. I was given a fixer-upper so I began fixing on the building...a little here and there to use it for my future daycare center. I have never opened because I was getting some work done on the building. Well, like I mentioned my husband recently lost his job and I wasn't able to finish. Since he lost his job we are behind on our mortgage risking foreclosure and about to get both of our vehicles repossessed...so we're thinking about bankruptcy. He has applied for over 15 jobs, had many interviews, but still nothing full-time yet so he toke a part-time job that barely pays the light bill. We have never been in this situation before!! I'm ashamed and embarrassed. So my question is if we file bankruptcy how will this affect us? How will this affect me if I decide to open my business later? The building is my great-grandmothers will I be forced to sale it? Any suggests, things heard, options- ALL will be considered.
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284878 12:07 PM 05-07-2017
You could try asking Tom Copeland. Just search his name to find his blog.
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mommyneedsadayoff 03:48 PM 05-07-2017
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I have some questions concerning bankruptcy. This may be off topic and I do understand that none of you are lawyers, but I'm in a bad situation so I need some direction. My husband recently lost his job of 25 years and that really put a BIG strain on our finances. While we both were working I filed with my state an LLC to open a daycare. I was given a fixer-upper so I began fixing on the building...a little here and there to use it for my future daycare center. I have never opened because I was getting some work done on the building. Well, like I mentioned my husband recently lost his job and I wasn't able to finish. Since he lost his job we are behind on our mortgage risking foreclosure and about to get both of our vehicles repossessed...so we're thinking about bankruptcy. He has applied for over 15 jobs, had many interviews, but still nothing full-time yet so he toke a part-time job that barely pays the light bill. We have never been in this situation before!! I'm ashamed and embarrassed. So my question is if we file bankruptcy how will this affect us? How will this affect me if I decide to open my business later? The building is my great-grandmothers will I be forced to sale it? Any suggests, things heard, options- ALL will be considered.
Okay, so first thing is to take a deep breath! Financial issues are overwhelming and exhausting!!! BUT, you are not alone! This happens a lot and I was in the same situation 7 years ago. We avoided bankruptcy, but only because my husband's family helped us out. So I am just going to relay my advice based on my own experience. And I am not a lawyer, so of course, this is just layman advice

We had a car lease, rent, utilities, some credit card debt, student loan debt, and a past medical bill that I was still paying on. We were a few weeks behind on our usual bills already, due to job issues, but basically living paycheck to paycheck and maintaining. Then, we went to our coed softball game one sunday night and my husband threw a ball in from left field. He walked in grabbing his arm and we knew something was wrong (he broke his humerus in half). Long story short, one ER visit, referral to an orthopedist, bone scans, referral to an orthopedic oncologist, biopsies, surgery to fix arm, and follow up visits, plus no insurance (my husband started with a new job and was waiting for open enrollment, so did not have insurance), and we were suddenly in about $40,000 worth of debt. Our incomes were a total of about $45k a year, but my husband could not work and had not gained any benefits at his work yet, so I became the sole income earner over night and my income only accounted for about $18k at the time. We didn't know what to do. It felt embarrassing and shameful and so I know exactly how you feel right now.

I can offer suggestions to avoid bankruptcy, but I would need to know more info. If bankruptcy is inevitable, then I would consult a lawyer about which type is best for your situation. Filing for bankruptcy does cost money, so you will need to account for that. From what I know, you will probably be guided towards a chapter 7, since your debt seems to be secured debt. Meaning, they can take something back in exchange for writing off the debt (your house and cars). It will affect your credit score and ability to rent or obtain loans. Doesn't mean you won't be able to get a loan, but your interest rate and initial obligation will be more costly.

As for your daycare property, do you own it? Is it your relative's property and in their name? If so, it would not be affected. As for daycare licensing, I am not sure they check credit reports, so I don't think it would mess with your ability to gain a license, but maybe Tom Copeland can verify that. It would affect your ability to obtain a loan to buy the property from your relative or to get a business loan to advance your daycare, but I wouldn't think it would prevent you from getting license.

I hope this info helps and again, just take a breath and remember that everything will be ok. Stick together and you CAN get through this period in your life!
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Unregistered 05:05 PM 05-07-2017
Originally Posted by 284878:
You could try asking Tom Copeland. Just search his name to find his blog.
Thanks I will.
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Unregistered 05:24 PM 05-07-2017
Originally Posted by mommyneedsadayoff:
Okay, so first thing is to take a deep breath! Financial issues are overwhelming and exhausting!!! BUT, you are not alone! This happens a lot and I was in the same situation 7 years ago. We avoided bankruptcy, but only because my husband's family helped us out. So I am just going to relay my advice based on my own experience. And I am not a lawyer, so of course, this is just layman advice

We had a car lease, rent, utilities, some credit card debt, student loan debt, and a past medical bill that I was still paying on. We were a few weeks behind on our usual bills already, due to job issues, but basically living paycheck to paycheck and maintaining. Then, we went to our coed softball game one sunday night and my husband threw a ball in from left field. He walked in grabbing his arm and we knew something was wrong (he broke his humerus in half). Long story short, one ER visit, referral to an orthopedist, bone scans, referral to an orthopedic oncologist, biopsies, surgery to fix arm, and follow up visits, plus no insurance (my husband started with a new job and was waiting for open enrollment, so did not have insurance), and we were suddenly in about $40,000 worth of debt. Our incomes were a total of about $45k a year, but my husband could not work and had not gained any benefits at his work yet, so I became the sole income earner over night and my income only accounted for about $18k at the time. We didn't know what to do. It felt embarrassing and shameful and so I know exactly how you feel right now.

I can offer suggestions to avoid bankruptcy, but I would need to know more info. If bankruptcy is inevitable, then I would consult a lawyer about which type is best for your situation. Filing for bankruptcy does cost money, so you will need to account for that. From what I know, you will probably be guided towards a chapter 7, since your debt seems to be secured debt. Meaning, they can take something back in exchange for writing off the debt (your house and cars). It will affect your credit score and ability to rent or obtain loans. Doesn't mean you won't be able to get a loan, but your interest rate and initial obligation will be more costly.

As for your daycare property, do you own it? Is it your relative's property and in their name? If so, it would not be affected. As for daycare licensing, I am not sure they check credit reports, so I don't think it would mess with your ability to gain a license, but maybe Tom Copeland can verify that. It would affect your ability to obtain a loan to buy the property from your relative or to get a business loan to advance your daycare, but I wouldn't think it would prevent you from getting license.

I hope this info helps and again, just take a breath and remember that everything will be ok. Stick together and you CAN get through this period in your life!
Thanks so much for your reply!! My husband did receive a lump some of money from his time he accumulated on his job over the years. We toke that money and paid 3 months ahead on our both of our vehicles and made 2 months payments on our house, paid off furniture notes, credit card, and some old bills. We also did some small renovations to our house. Well since he wasn't able to find a full-time job during that time we lived off the money to help pay other bills. He's is currently working part-time and we are on government benefits to help supplement. It's very shameful because my husband was making over 60k a year. Now he's making less than $1000 per month. Our current bills are over $2000 per month. We have a mortgage with a 50k balance, one vehicle with a 20k balance, the other vehicle with a 10k balance, and I have over 20k worth of student loans. I do not want to lose my home because we are a family of 6. The house is listed under my business name. I would hate to sell it because it was my great-grandmother and I know the family would be very upset with me, but I'm running out of options. I don't know what else to do.
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midaycare 06:00 PM 05-07-2017
Can you sell one vehicle? Do you owe more than their worth?

Call the student loans today and get a deferral. Don't pay another cent to them right now.

I was having a little trouble following- do you work currently? What can you do to get a job quick and make the other $1000K per month? Wait tables? Grocery store? Walmart? McDonalds?
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Unregistered 07:30 PM 05-07-2017
Originally Posted by midaycare:
Can you sell one vehicle? Do you owe more than their worth?

Call the student loans today and get a deferral. Don't pay another cent to them right now.

I was having a little trouble following- do you work currently? What can you do to get a job quick and make the other $1000K per month? Wait tables? Grocery store? Walmart? McDonalds?
Finding jobs in my area is not as easy as it sounds. Most people in my area have a 30 min.-1 hour commute for the best jobs. My husband was driving a 1 hour round trip in his former job. I have a degree and its been difficult because jobs are very competitive. During the time I was given the building we both were working. I was making 30k per year in addition to my husband making 60k plus. I was working full-time during the day and attending school at night. That became too much as a mother with 4 children. So my husband and I agreed that I would pursue my education and quit my job. So he was working a full and part-time job....fast forward to our current situation....he lost that full-time job.

I'm not paying on student loans they are in deferment.....I only stated how much to give an idea of my current debt. If I sale one vehicle, if that was even possible which is not I still then would be unable to work.

I'm not trying to give my entire life history here just enough information concerning my choices for bankruptcy.
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TomCopeland 08:59 AM 05-08-2017
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I have some questions concerning bankruptcy. This may be off topic and I do understand that none of you are lawyers, but I'm in a bad situation so I need some direction. My husband recently lost his job of 25 years and that really put a BIG strain on our finances. While we both were working I filed with my state an LLC to open a daycare. I was given a fixer-upper so I began fixing on the building...a little here and there to use it for my future daycare center. I have never opened because I was getting some work done on the building. Well, like I mentioned my husband recently lost his job and I wasn't able to finish. Since he lost his job we are behind on our mortgage risking foreclosure and about to get both of our vehicles repossessed...so we're thinking about bankruptcy. He has applied for over 15 jobs, had many interviews, but still nothing full-time yet so he toke a part-time job that barely pays the light bill. We have never been in this situation before!! I'm ashamed and embarrassed. So my question is if we file bankruptcy how will this affect us? How will this affect me if I decide to open my business later? The building is my great-grandmothers will I be forced to sale it? Any suggests, things heard, options- ALL will be considered.
Sorry to hear about your difficulties. I'm not an expert on bankruptcy. I would recommend speaking with a lawyer before you went ahead and filed for bankruptcy. That's because there are consequences down the road (impact on credit rating, ability to get future loans, costs of bankruptcy). If you can't afford a lawyer (who can!) then I'd contact your local Legal Aid office and see if they can help or can refer you to someone. If you live near a law school they may have a program that can help advise you.
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mommyneedsadayoff 09:02 AM 05-08-2017
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Thanks so much for your reply!! My husband did receive a lump some of money from his time he accumulated on his job over the years. We toke that money and paid 3 months ahead on our both of our vehicles and made 2 months payments on our house, paid off furniture notes, credit card, and some old bills. We also did some small renovations to our house. Well since he wasn't able to find a full-time job during that time we lived off the money to help pay other bills. He's is currently working part-time and we are on government benefits to help supplement. It's very shameful because my husband was making over 60k a year. Now he's making less than $1000 per month. Our current bills are over $2000 per month. We have a mortgage with a 50k balance, one vehicle with a 20k balance, the other vehicle with a 10k balance, and I have over 20k worth of student loans. I do not want to lose my home because we are a family of 6. The house is listed under my business name. I would hate to sell it because it was my great-grandmother and I know the family would be very upset with me, but I'm running out of options. I don't know what else to do.
If you were to sell your cars, would you be losing money or making money? If you can make money on even one of them, I would sell and take and the cash to buy a cheap car (under $2k). If you will lose money, then keep them and see if you can speak with your lenders about refinancing options or getting an exemption for a month or two so you can catch up. If your credit is still good right now, then you may have options there.

Do you have equity in your home? I would most definitely be working with my lender if so. They may be able to delay payments and tack em on the back end to give you more time or they may have options for home equity lines of credit to help you in the meantime.

You already deferred your Student Loans, so that is great, but all the above that I mentioned are stall tactics. If you do not forsee your financial situation changing in the next few months, then you may need to speak with a lawyer about your options. If you are able to run a daycare out of your current home, get a 2nd, 3rd job to add to your income, I would exhaust all those options first. If it is just not happening, then I would consider a few things.

Any assets you own will be considered in the bankruptcy process. If you have the deed to your grandma's property, it will be included. Your house and cars as well. Student loan debt does not get discharged in bankruptcy, so that one will stick around. Bankruptcy does not always mean you will lose your house though. It really depends on the type of bankruptcy you file and if you meet the exemptions to keep your home. How much equity you have in your property(s) will be a big factor in that, so it is case by case.

One thing to keep in mind, if you file a chapter 7, it is a means to start over with a clean slate. A chapter 13 is quite different and is a way to repay your debt through the help of lawyers who set up repayment plans. Basically, you pay a trust and they dole it out to your creditors. It is the best option to keep your home, but if your income situation is not going to improve and you cannot make those payments and continue making your mortgage payment, then you may need to think about the clean slate option.

Either way, they are difficult decisions to make, but when it comes to bankruptcy, it is best to go through all your options and get a lawyer consult to see if it is the best choice.

IMO, if you have equity in your home, cars, and/or your grandma's property, I would look into selling first to gain some cashflow and then downsizing everything to a level that your current income can keep up with. I would hate to give up that equity by filing bankruptcy, if it is something I can do myself without punishing my credit, know what I mean?

If I can offer any other advice, please let me know! And hang i there! It will be okay!
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TomCopeland 10:11 AM 05-08-2017
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I have some questions concerning bankruptcy. This may be off topic and I do understand that none of you are lawyers, but I'm in a bad situation so I need some direction. My husband recently lost his job of 25 years and that really put a BIG strain on our finances. While we both were working I filed with my state an LLC to open a daycare. I was given a fixer-upper so I began fixing on the building...a little here and there to use it for my future daycare center. I have never opened because I was getting some work done on the building. Well, like I mentioned my husband recently lost his job and I wasn't able to finish. Since he lost his job we are behind on our mortgage risking foreclosure and about to get both of our vehicles repossessed...so we're thinking about bankruptcy. He has applied for over 15 jobs, had many interviews, but still nothing full-time yet so he toke a part-time job that barely pays the light bill. We have never been in this situation before!! I'm ashamed and embarrassed. So my question is if we file bankruptcy how will this affect us? How will this affect me if I decide to open my business later? The building is my great-grandmothers will I be forced to sale it? Any suggests, things heard, options- ALL will be considered.
Sorry to hear about your difficulties. I'm not an expert on bankruptcy. I would recommend speaking with a lawyer before you went ahead and filed for bankruptcy. That's because there are consequences down the road (impact on credit rating, ability to get future loans, costs of bankruptcy). If you can't afford a lawyer (who can!) then I'd contact your local Legal Aid office and see if they can help or can refer you to someone. If you live near a law school they may have a program that can help advise you.
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Unregistered 12:10 PM 05-08-2017
Originally Posted by mommyneedsadayoff:
If you were to sell your cars, would you be losing money or making money? If you can make money on even one of them, I would sell and take and the cash to buy a cheap car (under $2k). If you will lose money, then keep them and see if you can speak with your lenders about refinancing options or getting an exemption for a month or two so you can catch up. If your credit is still good right now, then you may have options there.

Do you have equity in your home? I would most definitely be working with my lender if so. They may be able to delay payments and tack em on the back end to give you more time or they may have options for home equity lines of credit to help you in the meantime.

You already deferred your Student Loans, so that is great, but all the above that I mentioned are stall tactics. If you do not forsee your financial situation changing in the next few months, then you may need to speak with a lawyer about your options. If you are able to run a daycare out of your current home, get a 2nd, 3rd job to add to your income, I would exhaust all those options first. If it is just not happening, then I would consider a few things.

Any assets you own will be considered in the bankruptcy process. If you have the deed to your grandma's property, it will be included. Your house and cars as well. Student loan debt does not get discharged in bankruptcy, so that one will stick around. Bankruptcy does not always mean you will lose your house though. It really depends on the type of bankruptcy you file and if you meet the exemptions to keep your home. How much equity you have in your property(s) will be a big factor in that, so it is case by case.

One thing to keep in mind, if you file a chapter 7, it is a means to start over with a clean slate. A chapter 13 is quite different and is a way to repay your debt through the help of lawyers who set up repayment plans. Basically, you pay a trust and they dole it out to your creditors. It is the best option to keep your home, but if your income situation is not going to improve and you cannot make those payments and continue making your mortgage payment, then you may need to think about the clean slate option.

Either way, they are difficult decisions to make, but when it comes to bankruptcy, it is best to go through all your options and get a lawyer consult to see if it is the best choice.

IMO, if you have equity in your home, cars, and/or your grandma's property, I would look into selling first to gain some cashflow and then downsizing everything to a level that your current income can keep up with. I would hate to give up that equity by filing bankruptcy, if it is something I can do myself without punishing my credit, know what I mean?

If I can offer any other advice, please let me know! And hang i there! It will be okay!
After looking back on our vehicle and mortgage statements we actually owe more than what I previously mentioned. My husband's truck was actually bought the same year he was separated from his job, so we will not be able to receive a return on it. We had no idea after purchasing it that he would lose his job months later. As far as our mortgage company it was sold to a servicer. We have been in our house 11 years and the servicer said we don't qualify for deferment and then that same company with another rep said they don't offer it....I don't know what to do. Maybe I need to let my church and family know about our financial situation, but I'm really ashamed...idk I will take Tom Copeland's suggestion and see if I can talk with Legal Aid and gets some further advice. Thanks alot for all your information!
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Unregistered 03:34 PM 05-08-2017
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I have some questions concerning bankruptcy. This may be off topic and I do understand that none of you are lawyers, but I'm in a bad situation so I need some direction. My husband recently lost his job of 25 years and that really put a BIG strain on our finances. While we both were working I filed with my state an LLC to open a daycare. I was given a fixer-upper so I began fixing on the building...a little here and there to use it for my future daycare center. I have never opened because I was getting some work done on the building. Well, like I mentioned my husband recently lost his job and I wasn't able to finish. Since he lost his job we are behind on our mortgage risking foreclosure and about to get both of our vehicles repossessed...so we're thinking about bankruptcy. He has applied for over 15 jobs, had many interviews, but still nothing full-time yet so he toke a part-time job that barely pays the light bill. We have never been in this situation before!! I'm ashamed and embarrassed. So my question is if we file bankruptcy how will this affect us? How will this affect me if I decide to open my business later? The building is my great-grandmothers will I be forced to sale it? Any suggests, things heard, options- ALL will be considered.
I've been there and back, so I can help answer some questions.
My first advice: speak with a lawyer who specializes in bankruptcy. They should give you a free consultation and tell you exactly how much it will cost to file, which chapter (7, 11 or 13) would fit your situation and IF bankruptcy is even your best option- vs a debt consolidation plan.

Mine was about 12 years ago. It cost me $700 to file Chapter 7. It took about a month from filing to my closing court date. I "re-affirmed" my car loan so that I could keep my car. That was the only debt I kept. I let my house go since I was backwards in my loan and would owe thousands if I sold it. Foreclosure can take 7 months-1 year from the date you file, unless you haven't been making any payments on your loan and the lender started the process already.

I know it can feel overwhelming and depressing even having to admit that this is your best option. Don't let it consume you. It's more common than you think and it's not hard to get your life back on track after. The hardest part is "where will you live". If you let your house go into foreclosure, then it's harder to get a rental since most landlords will pull credit. So have a plan ahead of time.
Get a secured credit card after filing to start building your credit back up. It takes about 3 years to really change your FICO score for the better. I know some people that have gotten a home loan between the 3-5 year mark after filing. "Bankruptcy" should drop off your credit report after 10 years. But again, your credit score will start improving around the 3 year mark.

And no, it won't affect doing daycare. I have never heard of any states or licensing putting that stipulation on obtaining a license.
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Unregistered 08:32 AM 05-09-2017
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I've been there and back, so I can help answer some questions.
My first advice: speak with a lawyer who specializes in bankruptcy. They should give you a free consultation and tell you exactly how much it will cost to file, which chapter (7, 11 or 13) would fit your situation and IF bankruptcy is even your best option- vs a debt consolidation plan.

Mine was about 12 years ago. It cost me $700 to file Chapter 7. It took about a month from filing to my closing court date. I "re-affirmed" my car loan so that I could keep my car. That was the only debt I kept. I let my house go since I was backwards in my loan and would owe thousands if I sold it. Foreclosure can take 7 months-1 year from the date you file, unless you haven't been making any payments on your loan and the lender started the process already.

I know it can feel overwhelming and depressing even having to admit that this is your best option. Don't let it consume you. It's more common than you think and it's not hard to get your life back on track after. The hardest part is "where will you live". If you let your house go into foreclosure, then it's harder to get a rental since most landlords will pull credit. So have a plan ahead of time.
Get a secured credit card after filing to start building your credit back up. It takes about 3 years to really change your FICO score for the better. I know some people that have gotten a home loan between the 3-5 year mark after filing. "Bankruptcy" should drop off your credit report after 10 years. But again, your credit score will start improving around the 3 year mark.

And no, it won't affect doing daycare. I have never heard of any states or licensing putting that stipulation on obtaining a license.
I spoke with a legal firm (not the attorney) that handles bankruptcy, but the guy was so rude. He explained to me that we don't meet the income requirements for a chapter 13 and he said I can't keep my house with a chapter 7. I don't like when people make me feel like I'm asking for a hand out and everything is simple as just go get a job. There was another situation when I was so embarrassed applying for government benefits because during my interview the lady asked me "aren't you supposed to be opening a business" I was so ashamed and upset. I have a degree and always maintained a good job until school and working became overwhelming. So my husband and I agreed that I could quit to finish my degree. We had no idea that later he would lose his job too. Its hard when you're use to a certain living and you now have to buy groceries with food stamps and on medicaid because my kids are no longer on insurance. Finding jobs in this area is hard! My husband and I have applied and interviewed and applied and interviewed again....maybe we need just to let them foreclose on our house and repo our vehicles then we can maybe relocate.
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mommyneedsadayoff 10:10 AM 05-09-2017
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I spoke with a legal firm (not the attorney) that handles bankruptcy, but the guy was so rude. He explained to me that we don't meet the income requirements for a chapter 13 and he said I can't keep my house with a chapter 7. I don't like when people make me feel like I'm asking for a hand out and everything is simple as just go get a job. There was another situation when I was so embarrassed applying for government benefits because during my interview the lady asked me "aren't you supposed to be opening a business" I was so ashamed and upset. I have a degree and always maintained a good job until school and working became overwhelming. So my husband and I agreed that I could quit to finish my degree. We had no idea that later he would lose his job too. Its hard when you're use to a certain living and you now have to buy groceries with food stamps and on medicaid because my kids are no longer on insurance. Finding jobs in this area is hard! My husband and I have applied and interviewed and applied and interviewed again....maybe we need just to let them foreclose on our house and repo our vehicles then we can maybe relocate.
How many months behind are you on your bills?
Are there other communities you can move to with more promising job market? Are you still in school? Have you spoke with the aid dept? Students who are struggling may qualify for help, whether loans or subsidized living. May be worth checking.

Any chance you can check into a private lawyer who specializes in bankruptcy? They may give a free consult, but if not, have your papers together and everything lined out, so you use as little time as possible, to reduce the fees. Research them, bc most will do a free consult. They recognize you are coming to them in a tough financial spot and ime, are empathetic to your situation. Hppefully, you can find someone good.

Legal aid can be hit or miss. Kind of like the people at our social services. They get burned out quick. I think they see a lot more people who are expecting a handout, versus people like you who actually need it temporarily until you get back on your feet. Try not to let them get to you. As the pp said, it is more common than you think and it does not make you a bad person. You are just in a bad spot right now, but you will come through. Hang in there!
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lovemykidstoo 10:51 AM 05-09-2017
I completely understand where you are coming from.

6 years ago, my husband lost his job of 16 years and he was making abou $120000 a year. He had about 6 months severance and we thought no big deal, he'll find another job. Well 2 years went by. He had interview after interview and nothing. Thank God we had a nice nest egg that we supplemented along with my daycare business. Then he decided to take life into his own hands and open a carpet/tile, grout/hard surface cleaning business. Well, he grew that over the past few years, but it is not enough to really make it and it's so up and down. So we went to a lawyer about bankruptcy and decided not to do it. We instead put our house up for sale. It sold for $212000. It was a 2,600 sq foot house, gorgeous with an above ground pool. We bought a 1800 sq ft, foreclosure house that was destroyed for 76000. A HUGE thing for us and our kids who were 14 and 16 at the time. I know they were humiliated with the house change, but they never complained once. We have done tons and tons of work on the house and it's finally getting good after 1 1/2 yrs. We still have debt up the A** and just settled with 1 credit card for 1/3 of what we owed and we're working with a lawyer on another one. All 3 cars are paid for, we have a small equity loan on the house and still 3 credit cards. So we still talk about if we should do bankruptcy. People say bankruptcy will affect your credit score, but if you're late on your bills all the time your credit score is junk right now anyway. My husband finally realized that his business is not enough to carry us. He got a job last month at a hospital as a supervisor of the cleaning staff. It's 2nd shift, with benefits which is wonderful. So used to doing obamacare where you almost have to give a rectal exam to get that. He has 1 more year on his business payment, so he's still doing that on the side. So with his new job things are looking up for us a bit, but we still are faced with years of payments, so we may still consider bankruptcy, I don't know.

So long story longer, I get how you feel because my husband too had that great job and we fell from the sky. I don't wish this on anyone. It's extremely humiliating and embarrassing, but like others said, more common than you think. i would talk to someone else about it. If that person was rude, don't give up, try again and see if you can get someone nicer to explain things to you. I wish you the best of luck and really hope things go right for you. I know how heavy that burden is.
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Snowmom 11:06 AM 05-09-2017
Originally Posted by lovemykidstoo:
I completely understand where you are coming from.

6 years ago, my husband lost his job of 16 years and he was making abou $120000 a year. He had about 6 months severance and we thought no big deal, he'll find another job. Well 2 years went by. He had interview after interview and nothing. Thank God we had a nice nest egg that we supplemented along with my daycare business. Then he decided to take life into his own hands and open a carpet/tile, grout/hard surface cleaning business. Well, he grew that over the past few years, but it is not enough to really make it and it's so up and down. So we went to a lawyer about bankruptcy and decided not to do it. We instead put our house up for sale. It sold for $212000. It was a 2,600 sq foot house, gorgeous with an above ground pool. We bought a 1800 sq ft, foreclosure house that was destroyed for 76000. A HUGE thing for us and our kids who were 14 and 16 at the time. I know they were humiliated with the house change, but they never complained once. We have done tons and tons of work on the house and it's finally getting good after 1 1/2 yrs. We still have debt up the A** and just settled with 1 credit card for 1/3 of what we owed and we're working with a lawyer on another one. All 3 cars are paid for, we have a small equity loan on the house and still 3 credit cards. So we still talk about if we should do bankruptcy. People say bankruptcy will affect your credit score, but if you're late on your bills all the time your credit score is junk right now anyway. My husband finally realized that his business is not enough to carry us. He got a job last month at a hospital as a supervisor of the cleaning staff. It's 2nd shift, with benefits which is wonderful. So used to doing obamacare where you almost have to give a rectal exam to get that. He has 1 more year on his business payment, so he's still doing that on the side. So with his new job things are looking up for us a bit, but we still are faced with years of payments, so we may still consider bankruptcy, I don't know.

So long story longer, I get how you feel because my husband too had that great job and we fell from the sky. I don't wish this on anyone. It's extremely humiliating and embarrassing, but like others said, more common than you think. i would talk to someone else about it. If that person was rude, don't give up, try again and see if you can get someone nicer to explain things to you. I wish you the best of luck and really hope things go right for you. I know how heavy that burden is.
That's the thing ^^
If you are late on one credit card or installment loan payment, your credit/FICO score will get a ding and it stays on your report for 7 years. If you have multiple adverse accounts on your report, your FICO score is pretty much trashed and it'll take a few years to recover (from a credit standpoint). Those late payments stay on there for 7 years.

So, 7 years with shaky credit and debt up the wazoo or 10 years and a fresh start?

OP, I would go to a private bankruptcy lawyer as mentioned earlier. They should help you get a clear perspective about your best options.
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Unregistered 12:47 PM 05-09-2017
Originally Posted by mommyneedsadayoff:
How many months behind are you on your bills?
Are there other communities you can move to with more promising job market? Are you still in school? Have you spoke with the aid dept? Students who are struggling may qualify for help, whether loans or subsidized living. May be worth checking.

Any chance you can check into a private lawyer who specializes in bankruptcy? They may give a free consult, but if not, have your papers together and everything lined out, so you use as little time as possible, to reduce the fees. Research them, bc most will do a free consult. They recognize you are coming to them in a tough financial spot and ime, are empathetic to your situation. Hppefully, you can find someone good.

Legal aid can be hit or miss. Kind of like the people at our social services. They get burned out quick. I think they see a lot more people who are expecting a handout, versus people like you who actually need it temporarily until you get back on your feet. Try not to let them get to you. As the pp said, it is more common than you think and it does not make you a bad person. You are just in a bad spot right now, but you will come through. Hang in there!
There are communities that are 2 hours away that have a better job market that we could possibly move to...but that was just a thought we considered. My mind has ran through several options. I know it would be hard on our children though. The oldest 2 are teenagers.

I was studying for my next degree, so at this time I'm not in school. Our credit scores are steady falling. So refinancing anything wouldn't be an option. The last time I checked it was barely 600.
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mommyneedsadayoff 01:19 PM 05-09-2017
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
There are communities that are 2 hours away that have a better job market that we could possibly move to...but that was just a thought we considered. My mind has ran through several options. I know it would be hard on our children though. The oldest 2 are teenagers.

I was studying for my next degree, so at this time I'm not in school. Our credit scores are steady falling. So refinancing anything wouldn't be an option. The last time I checked it was barely 600.
Okay so a few more ideas and then some advice. If your daycare residence is livable and paid for, can you make it work for your family? If that is not an option, can you consider selling the property to another family member?

As far as moving, it may not be the worst idea. If you guys cannot get jobs, filing bankruptcy will not solve any problems. You need income, so you need to go where you can find it. If that means moving, then so be it. That is what we did and it was 1300 miles away, versus 2 hours. Your kids will have a tough time, but you are are a family unit. They are quite a bit more resiliant than you think and trust me, they will prefer a smaller home in another city, versus a tiny apartment in your current city and eating at the soup kitchen. I am not saying this to be harsh. I am just saying it because when it comes to this and divorce, parents try to stick it out longer for the sake of the child and it is usually more harmful, than helpful. As long as you all have each other and work together, you will get through it, but if you let your kid's feelings trump the well being of your whole family, it will be much tougher, kwim?


If there are no other options and you are going to file, then my advice, whether you move or stay in the same city, is to stop making any payments, if you have not done so already, and start securing another place to live. Get into something you can afford now and secure a lease. ANY money you earn now is going towards your new home and cars that are affordable. Sell anything you don't need (major garage sale!), pack up the stuff you do, park your cars, and let the lenders know where to find them. They will come get them, trust me lol. Make sure that the new home is close to your work so you may be able to get by with one car and public transport if possible. The reason I asked how far behind you are is because if you are only a month behind, you have a few weeks to hoard your income for the next step before having to leave your current situation. This will bide you sometime to get income for deposits and to buy a cheap car.

I am trying to think of more advice, but I know that for us, even without bankruptcy, we basically went into to hoard mode with our funds to secure our living needs, and then started chipping away at our debt by settling with our creditors. We are 7 years past this point and I still have two outstanding medical bills that I am waiting to hear from collectors about. Once your debt gets charged off, you are basically waiting for them to contact you so you can settle, but it is not fun and it is a job in its self. If we had to do everything over, we would have filed. The only thing that stopped us was my dh's family. They could not stand the thought of us filing bankruptcy and so we didn't. But I do wonder where we would be if we had. I feel the weight of that decision every day.
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Malmom 07:43 PM 05-09-2017
We filed bankruptcy before. It's not the end all people make it out to be. Within a year and a half, I bought a new Toyota Sienna with a 5% interest rate. We had credit cards again, and at the two year mark we bought a home. As soon as our bankruptcy was discharged, we started working hard to reestablish our credit. 3 1/2 years out from bankruptcy, our scores are in the low 700's. Before, they were around 530.

I don't know how it all ties in with your business. But definitely make an appointment with a bankruptcy lawyer. Our cost was $1k and it was the best money we ever spent.
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Unregistered 10:48 AM 05-10-2017
Thanks for ALL the input I am considering every option. The area where I live is rural. There are no bus stations or taxis and not having at least one vehicle to go to work wouldn't be an option. I know if I talk to my church and family they would probably help out to a certain extent, but not enough to pull my entirely out of debt (and I don't expect them to).... TBH its a pride thing to ask. I know I shouldn't be prideful right now, but its very embarrassing for me. If we decide to move it would be after the end of the school year because it wouldn't make sense to transfer my 4 children at the end of the school year to another school. My husband received a call yesterday for an interview next week at a plant. So we are remaining hopeful with that. I'm praying and hopefully I will have a decision by the end of this week. Thanks again to everyone with their input! I will keep you posted!
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Unregistered 10:57 AM 05-10-2017
....I forgot to mention the building that I was given is in my business name. It was a former house, but converted into a commercial building. The idea of selling it crossed my mind, but not living in it. I will give that some thought and discuss that option with my husband.
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lovemykidstoo 02:28 PM 05-10-2017
Originally Posted by Malmom:
We filed bankruptcy before. It's not the end all people make it out to be. Within a year and a half, I bought a new Toyota Sienna with a 5% interest rate. We had credit cards again, and at the two year mark we bought a home. As soon as our bankruptcy was discharged, we started working hard to reestablish our credit. 3 1/2 years out from bankruptcy, our scores are in the low 700's. Before, they were around 530.

I don't know how it all ties in with your business. But definitely make an appointment with a bankruptcy lawyer. Our cost was $1k and it was the best money we ever spent.
Can you give more details like what type of bankruptcy you filed and what you had to sell if anything?
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Malmom 07:58 PM 05-10-2017
Originally Posted by lovemykidstoo:
Can you give more details like what type of bankruptcy you filed and what you had to sell if anything?
Originally Posted by lovemykidstoo:
Can you give more details like what type of bankruptcy you filed and what you had to sell if anything?
We filed a chapter 7. We didn't have sell anything, but we also didn't own a home at that point. We chose to reaffirm our car loan, but communication was mixed up between our lawyer and our bank. So the car was never reaffirmed. Which ended up working out okay for us. We turned it over to the bank after learning that they could wouldn't report to the credit agencies about our on time payments and they could come and repo it anytime they wanted, even if we were making payments since that debt wasn't reaffirmed. That was the whole point of our bankruptcy- to rebuild our credit. It didn't make much sense to keep the vehicle if they weren't going to report out on time payments with them. We bought another vehicle and owned it for 1 1/2 years until we could establish a positive payment history on that car so we could get a better loan/finance rate.
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