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MissAnn 05:28 AM 02-07-2017
I'll be your best friend
I won't be your best buddy
I'll invite you to my birthday party
You can't come to my birthday party
I won't be your best buddy
I'll invite you to my birthday party
You can't come to my birthday party
Blackcat31 05:37 AM 02-07-2017
Originally Posted by MissAnn:
I'll be your best friend or I won't be your best buddy
"Sorry Joey, Billy can't be your best friend because I am your best friend. But you can go play with Sally if you want."I'll be your best friend or I won't be your best buddy
Originally Posted by MissAnn:
I'll invite you to my birthday party
You can't come to my birthday party
"Sorry Sally, your birthday is already over but if you are kind to everyone I bet they'll all want to come next year."I'll invite you to my birthday party
You can't come to my birthday party
I just take the wind out of their sails so to speak....they are only saying it for shock value and as a lure to get others to do what they want them to do so I just take that power from them.
Pestle 06:40 AM 02-07-2017
I appreciate the tips, Blackcat. I'm dealing with my own 4yo and the almost-6yo neighbor (who has emotional issues the parents are working hard to treat). It's all:
"I hate you."
"I'm not your friend any more."
They know the words have power so they fling them around willy-nilly. This is why we don't let preschoolers buy explosives.
"I hate you."
"I'm not your friend any more."
They know the words have power so they fling them around willy-nilly. This is why we don't let preschoolers buy explosives.
MissAnn 07:24 AM 02-07-2017
I like Black Cat's suggestions too.
We've been talking a lot about strong character. We have also been talking at circle time about scenarios and how to handle them. This is one that is a little hard for them to understand. the kid who says it is obviously a manipulator. The kid who receives this comment sometimes doesn't quite understand that it's a manipulation and is happy to comply so he can go to the birthday party or be manipulators best buddy. So....this is one scenario we've been talking about. I tell them that a real friend is your friend if you give them the toy and even if you don't. I also ask.....is this helping words or hurting words? Again...the concept that this is hurting words is hard for some of them to understand. I'll keep working on it though. Social skills are harder to teach sometimes than ABC's and 123's.
We've been talking a lot about strong character. We have also been talking at circle time about scenarios and how to handle them. This is one that is a little hard for them to understand. the kid who says it is obviously a manipulator. The kid who receives this comment sometimes doesn't quite understand that it's a manipulation and is happy to comply so he can go to the birthday party or be manipulators best buddy. So....this is one scenario we've been talking about. I tell them that a real friend is your friend if you give them the toy and even if you don't. I also ask.....is this helping words or hurting words? Again...the concept that this is hurting words is hard for some of them to understand. I'll keep working on it though. Social skills are harder to teach sometimes than ABC's and 123's.
Ariana 10:55 AM 02-07-2017
I always turn it around on them "how would it make you feel if so and so said that to you....now how do you think it makes so and so feel when you say it".
I don't prevent kids from saying it because I see it as really the only power move they have and a good teaching moment.
I don't prevent kids from saying it because I see it as really the only power move they have and a good teaching moment.
Blackcat31 11:12 AM 02-07-2017
Originally Posted by Ariana:
I always turn it around on them "how would it make you feel if so and so said that to you....now how do you think it makes so and so feel when you say it".
I don't prevent kids from saying it because I see it as really the only power move they have and a good teaching moment.
Most the kiddos I have are under 5 so expecting them to understand perspective thinking isn't something I can expect. I always turn it around on them "how would it make you feel if so and so said that to you....now how do you think it makes so and so feel when you say it".
I don't prevent kids from saying it because I see it as really the only power move they have and a good teaching moment.
But it's definitely a good way to start introducing how our words and actions impact others.
daycarediva 11:20 AM 02-07-2017
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
"Sorry Joey, Billy can't be your best friend because I am your best friend. But you can go play with Sally if you want."
"Sorry Sally, your birthday is already over but if you are kind to everyone I bet they'll all want to come next year."
I just take the wind out of their sails so to speak....they are only saying it for shock value and as a lure to get others to do what they want them to do so I just take that power from them.
"Sorry Joey, Billy can't be your best friend because I am your best friend. But you can go play with Sally if you want."
"Sorry Sally, your birthday is already over but if you are kind to everyone I bet they'll all want to come next year."
I just take the wind out of their sails so to speak....they are only saying it for shock value and as a lure to get others to do what they want them to do so I just take that power from them.
YES! I also say "Oh that HURT Sue's feelings." and comfort the 'injured' child.