Default Style Register
Daycare.com Forum
Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Slandering my business.
EntropyControlSpecialist 03:36 PM 12-05-2012
We termed a family in June that was awful to work with. They were poorly behaved, their child was poorly behaved, and they refused to follow the policies. They were here from March until that point in June.

The last straw was when they didn't pay their tuition and didn't come one week. The next week Mom wanted to bring child back but said she would NOT pay for that last week. We gave them their two week notice. She went ballistic and sent me extremely ugly text messages. So ugly that I warned my licensor!

Now, 5 months later she is upset that I defended someone on a public board on Facebook for our community so she posted a status about me. My friend from Church printed it off for me to keep in case I need to go to court in the future, but I am sick to my stomach. Seriously? We wrote off your debt and didn't send it to a collections agency. What more can you want?

-Frustrated daycare provider
Reply
SilverSabre25 03:38 PM 12-05-2012
((hugs)) I'm sorry you're dealing with that. I will never understand what it is about childcare that parents think we don't/shouldn't care about money. That we're bad providers if we care about getting paid, or that we should ONLY care about kids and not about money at all.

It's really weird.
Reply
littlemissmuffet 03:43 PM 12-05-2012
Originally Posted by SilverSabre25:
((hugs)) I'm sorry you're dealing with that. I will never understand what it is about childcare that parents think we don't/shouldn't care about money. That we're bad providers if we care about getting paid, or that we should ONLY care about kids and not about money at all.
Totally agree!

ECS, is this something you feel seriously enough about to contact a lawyer? I personally would because my business is EVERYTHING. Without it we don't have our home or food in our bellies! I know it could possibly add more stress for you to pursue legally - but worth it in the end to stand up for yourself and your business. I'm sorry you are going through this.
Reply
providerandmomof4 03:44 PM 12-05-2012
It never ceases to amaze my how ugly termed dcp can get. I probably would just let it go for now, (even though I would be sick about it!) Just remember, you can't control the actions of idiot people, only your own. Hugs....
Reply
EntropyControlSpecialist 03:54 PM 12-05-2012
Lady: Someone freaking shoot me! Hypocritical people drive me nuts!!! Horrible!!!! HORRIBLE! HORRIBLE!!! What kind of person can turn down my 4 year old daughter that has grown to love you to death and know nothing better?! I know why!!! Because it was all about money to begin with! They never gave 2 ****s about my daughter. They were judging me from the beginning. Shame on me for not protecting her more. Shame on me for not living up to these people's standards. God forbid, God be the one that judge me. He must have put you on this earth to make it very clear that I don't live up to your standards! ___ _____ _______ ______... I hope you drive your business into the ground! Kharma's a B. Gahhhh, this has been bottled up for MONTHS!!! ( i may eventually delete this post lol- #justneededtoVENT )

Lady's friend: In a daycare or any business, it is always about money first.

My friend: I so see them putting the kids first and not the money.

Lady: Not where she goes now She loves them and they love her. I get there is always the aspect of a daycare being a business/job, but if you don't love what you do, then find something else to do. These people never cared about Maggie. They cared about their guaranteed 2 weeks paid up front. They gave her spot away because they could make more money, didn't let me know or anything and when I told them I wanted to talk to them about the issue at hand and a few other issues, they were like "you can talk to us during her last week" I had never said that she wasn't going there anymore. In other words, they didn't want her to go there anymore. I never said anything to them prior to any of this happening. There were NEVER any problems. They just didn't want her there anymore. I gathered that it was because she wasn't full time or because they simply didn't like me. They are claiming to be Godly and aren't quick to judge people and it's all BS. They're hypocrits! I'm just sick of it! I am soooo angry at how they treated maggie. I can move on, but she asked for soooo long to see her teacher and that she missed her. She genuinely loved them. She cried so hard when she found out she couldn't go back.

Lady's friend 2: Sounds like public schools

Lady: Then a few weeks later, I wasn't a "fan" of their fbook page or their friend anymore.... REALLY? How old are we? They had their own personal reasons for why they didn't want Maggie to go there. I know how they ran their business and it was very much about the money. Do they like what they do? Sure. It's easy money. Do I think they cared about my daughter? No. Not at all. Do I think they care about the kids they watch? Sure... but only if you believe in what they believe. That's all.

Lady: No... ----. This was a private in home daycare. It had a ton of potential to be great, but the people that run it are judgmental. She stopped going there from March through June 2011


Reply
EntropyControlSpecialist 03:58 PM 12-05-2012
Originally Posted by littlemissmuffet:
Totally agree!

ECS, is this something you feel seriously enough about to contact a lawyer? I personally would because my business is EVERYTHING. Without it we don't have our home or food in our bellies! I know it could possibly add more stress for you to pursue legally - but worth it in the end to stand up for yourself and your business. I'm sorry you are going through this.
We just got out of court for our son and our son's biological mother was awful (although his father was wonderful and gave us his rights)! It was very stressful.
I wonder how much it would be to go to court for this. Wouldn't I have to prove that we did not get business because of this?

I guess this isn't really slander since it's written. It's libel.
Reply
MarinaVanessa 04:11 PM 12-05-2012
I would defend my business tooth and nail and I'd protect my business from slander if it came down to it. Did the DCP name you or your daycare by name? Or somehow point you out so that there is no way that anyone can doubt it was you and your daycare?

There isn't much that you can do about her talking to her friends/family etc but if she is publicly slandering your DC by name etc and you ant to defend yourself legally you can first send her a cease to disist letter yourself through certified mail and keep a copy of it for yourself. It's not that difficult.

But if you are only going by what you posted above I don't see how just anyone can read that and know that it's your DC other than by personally talking to the mom and her telling them your name or your DC name. The conversation you quoted wouldn't be enough to prove in court that it was your DC since anyone else wouldn't know she as talking about you. If she puts down your name or the name of your daycare and other information then that would be enough information to be able to help prove your cause. Correct me if I'm wrong but her slandering would have to effect your business somehow for you to be able to get some kind of compensation for it.
Reply
EntropyControlSpecialist 04:16 PM 12-05-2012
She named my daycare. The portion that has lines ___ ____ ____ ____ is my daycare name (in her status update on Facebook, not in the replies). People in our community know my daycare by name. It is a small community and I advertise heavily.

Apparently there is more to what I was given and my friend is printing more (and I have another friend print screening things).
Reply
EntropyControlSpecialist 04:20 PM 12-05-2012
Originally Posted by MarinaVanessa:
I would defend my business tooth and nail and I'd protect my business from slander if it came down to it. Did the DCP name you or your daycare by name? Or somehow point you out so that there is no way that anyone can doubt it was you and your daycare?

There isn't much that you can do about her talking to her friends/family etc but if she is publicly slandering your DC by name etc and you ant to defend yourself legally you can first send her a cease to disist letter yourself through certified mail and keep a copy of it for yourself. It's not that difficult.

But if you are only going by what you posted above I don't see how just anyone can read that and know that it's your DC other than by personally talking to the mom and her telling them your name or your DC name. The conversation you quoted wouldn't be enough to prove in court that it was your DC since anyone else wouldn't know she as talking about you. If she puts down your name or the name of your daycare and other information then that would be enough information to be able to help prove your cause. Correct me if I'm wrong but her slandering would have to effect your business somehow for you to be able to get some kind of compensation for it.
Yes, I think it would have to effect my business. But, how would you really know that? She has hundreds of "friends" on Facebook in our community. Many are Moms with young children. In fact, some of my own friends are on her Facebook page.

I wouldn't care if she had left my business name out of it. I really wouldn't have.


I put this on our community board.
Something to think about before slandering people's names/families/businesses.

Luke 6:45 The good man/woman brings good things out of the good stored up in his/her heart, and the evil man/woman brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his/her heart. For out of the overflow of his/her heart his/her mouth speaks.

Reply
Willow 04:21 PM 12-05-2012


Did you respond at all?

I'm not sure I would have been able to hold my tongue if I knew that crap was going on......how did the conversation even get started??
Reply
EntropyControlSpecialist 04:24 PM 12-05-2012
Originally Posted by Willow:


Did you respond at all?

I'm not sure I would have been able to hold my tongue if I knew that crap was going on......how did the conversation even get started??
I can't see it. I unfriended her when she decided to be a no call/no show without payment.
However, friends of mine (current clients, past clients who had children age out, Church friends, etc.) can see it and that is how I was informed.

She is calling my husband and I "hypocritical people" because someone posted sex offenders in our area on the main board. One is a child we know who was wrongly accused (A vindictive family member was placed in jail for assaulting the child's Mom and the child stopped it. The vindictive family member immediately told their own child to tell the police that he touched him.) and I defended him. My husband defended him. A Church friend of ours defended him. We basically stated that you can't fairly judge someone until you know exactly what they did or did not do. It isn't right. None of the sex offenders in our area, all 3, are pedophiles. This lady had an adult temper tantrum, which she often does, and turned it around to our business on her own personal page. Yes, I am well aware that the original topic has nothing to do with our business.

I think going to court would cost a lot of money. I just want it to stop. But, this Mom is very dramatic and out there with everything so I'm not sure that she is going to stop.
Reply
Willow 05:02 PM 12-05-2012
Geez.....she sounds just sick in the head with anger.....

She screws up, and it's obviously all your fault for requiring her to take responsibility for her own actions.




I had a woman just like her I had to deal with this past spring. In text, email and behind my back she insulted me, by business, my husband, his employer and even went so far as to take shots at MY KIDS. At that point I told her to step off it and not utter another word about anything or anyone or I'd be getting a restraining order and taking her to court. Things quieted down for about a week and then she actually had the balls to email me asking if she could bring her child back.......I wanted to text back that I was glad she obviously got back on her meds, but instead I just said no and not a word more.

Came to find out she had done the same exact thing to FOUR OTHER PROVIDERS BEFORE ME! I'd be willing to bet your crazy has a similar past and that's why she's so jaded.....still hasn't learned to own the fact that she caused the upheaval.
Reply
EntropyControlSpecialist 05:12 PM 12-05-2012
She actually did something similar with the no call/no show and getting upset when the public preschool had given her spot away. But, she never badmouthed them like she is doing me.
Reply
snbauser 05:28 PM 12-05-2012
I have no advice, just sympathy. We are dealing with something similar. We are debating about a cease and desist letter but aren't sure it would have any effect other than to cause more talk.
Reply
EntropyControlSpecialist 05:59 PM 12-05-2012
Originally Posted by snbauser:
I have no advice, just sympathy. We are dealing with something similar. We are debating about a cease and desist letter but aren't sure it would have any effect other than to cause more talk.
My husband wants to call our lawyer in the morning to send a cease and desist letter.
Reply
MyAngels 05:59 PM 12-05-2012
Originally Posted by EntropyControlSpecialist:
I think going to court would cost a lot of money. I just want it to stop. But, this Mom is very dramatic and out there with everything so I'm not sure that she is going to stop.
Contact a lawyer and have them send a strongly worded cease and desist letter requiring them to remove the offending post(s) immediately. I would imagine that will be all it will take and that shouldn't cost much.

Good luck.
Reply
SunshineMama 05:42 AM 12-06-2012
It is about money... duh... it's a business. No pay no stay.
It's not like we all woke up one day and thought, "hmmm, let's work 10 hours a day with no breaks for free because we love kids so much."

I do love all of my dcks, and I work with families whenever I can. But the bottom line is that I dont work for free, and if you are taking up a spot and not paying, then you are interfering with MY family's livlihood, and I love my kids more than yours. Im not going to sacrafice their needs so you can have free daycare

And I would sue the crap out of anyone who posted things like that, because once again, you are affecting MY family.

Sheesh... Sorry you have to put up with people like that
Reply
EntropyControlSpecialist 06:00 AM 12-06-2012
Originally Posted by SunshineMama:
It is about money... duh... it's a business. No pay no stay.
It's not like we all woke up one day and thought, "hmmm, let's work 10 hours a day with no breaks for free because we love kids so much."

I do love all of my dcks, and I work with families whenever I can. But the bottom line is that I dont work for free, and if you are taking up a spot and not paying, then you are interfering with MY family's livlihood, and I love my kids more than yours. Im not going to sacrafice their needs so you can have free daycare

And I would sue the crap out of anyone who posted things like that, because once again, you are affecting MY family.

Sheesh... Sorry you have to put up with people like that
That is exactly the stance I take. Either I provide for YOUR family by giving you discounts/free daycare/etc. or I provide for MY family and make a living. It's one or the other.
Reply
cheerfuldom 06:19 AM 12-06-2012
"they dont love my kid" almost always translates to "they wouldnt put up with my BS and provide free or greatly reduced rates with lots of special treatment". Parents dont expect their public school teachers to love their child....they just want them to do a good job and part of that is to at least be fun and pleasant for their kids to be around. why do parents expect love when caring for a child under 4 but automatically dont over 5? I know this is a whole other topic probably but I personally dont care for when providers promise to "love your kid just like my own". I think kids should be taken care of in a respectful nuturing manner, but I never guarantee that I will love another child. I hope that I will but I dont promise that.
Reply
NeedaVaca 06:37 AM 12-06-2012
This is awful! I was shocked at everything she posted and my jaw dropped at the easy money comment...nothing at all easy about this job!
Reply
Hazel 06:55 AM 12-06-2012
I have a nasty spiteful neighbor that has actually yelled at parents as they come up to my door! Telling them I leave the kids here alone and go out! Telling them I don't watch them bc she hears them screaming all day!
She doesn't like me for MULTIPLE reasons, and was always cold and nasty, but it didn't escalate to this until someone parked in her "dug out" spot after a snow storm (btw, wasn't one of my DC parents) and her husband came pounding on the door screaming and cursing me out! After that it all went down hill, including the yelling at my DCP.
We originally thought she was annoyed with us bc of the traffic issue at the end of the day, but the neighbor on the other side of her is a DC provider as well and they are very friendly! Like neighbors SHOULD be!
It got so bad that her husband squirted my fiancée with the hose last Christmas! Yea, she's nasty! I'm glad that I heard what she was yelling and was able to speak to my DCP about it. They thought she was a looney tune and laughed!
Reply
EntropyControlSpecialist 07:09 AM 12-06-2012
Originally Posted by NeedaVaca:
This is awful! I was shocked at everything she posted and my jaw dropped at the easy money comment...nothing at all easy about this job!
Unfortunately there's much more to it than what I posted. It kept going, and going, and going.
Reply
MarinaVanessa 12:11 PM 12-06-2012
Originally Posted by EntropyControlSpecialist:
She named my daycare. The portion that has lines ___ ____ ____ ____ is my daycare name (in her status update on Facebook, not in the replies). People in our community know my daycare by name. It is a small community and I advertise heavily.

Apparently there is more to what I was given and my friend is printing more (and I have another friend print screening things).
Then I would deffinetely be sending a cease and disist letter. . I've had to write one up before (for a different matter, not slander) and it did the trick without me having to get a lawyer involved (and money out of my pocket). Perhaps the threat of pursuing it legally can get her to stop? If your hubs wants to talk to a lawyer first then deffinetely do that. Here's one that I quickly drew up:

[DATE]

[OFFENDING PERSON]
[STREET ADDRESS]
[CITY][STATE][ZIP]

Re: False and defamatory statements made by [OFFENDING PERSON] to [YOUR DAYCARE] owned and operated by [YOUR NAME] regarding childcare.

Dear [OFFENDING PERSON]:

This notice is to hereby warn and notify [OFFENDING PERSON] and family, to CEASE AND DESIST making false and defamatory statements regarding [YOUR NAME] and my business and its ongoing matters with [OFFENDING PERSON].

It has come to our attention that false statements were made by [OFFENDING PERSON] in which the following occurred. [EXPLINATION OF THE SITUATION].

The statements made by [OFFENDING PERSON] regarding [YOUR DAYCARE] are false, defamatory, constitute tortious interference with business, and as such, are actionable under [YOUR STATE] law.

If we are forced to commence a lawsuit against [OFFENDING PERSON] in order to stop continued false and defamatory statements, be advised that we will seek recovery of all attorneys’ fees and costs incurred herein as a result. While we certainly hope this is not necessary, we are prepared to pursue whatever avenues are necessary to stop the continued false and defamatory statements made against my daycare by [OFFENDING PERSON].

Attached you will find copies of the false and defamatory statements in question as well as the true nature of the reason in which you were terminated which was due to multiple violations to our policies and breach of contract.

Sincerely,


[YOUR NAME]


Than make copies of all conversations where she slanders your business and highlight every place that she says something false or demafatory.

Also type up a seperate itemized list in cronological order of what happened starting with when she told she would only be taking a few days off and point out all the times that she broke your policy and quote your policy afterwards. I would also attach a copy of your emailed termination notice.

Just remember that anything that you send should be sent certified mail and you should keep a copy of it for yourself.
Reply
Lilbutterflie 12:34 PM 12-06-2012
Originally Posted by MarinaVanessa:
Then I would deffinetely be sending a cease and disist letter. . I've had to write one up before (for a different matter, not slander) and it did the trick without me having to get a lawyer involved (and money out of my pocket). Perhaps the threat of pursuing it legally can get her to stop? If your hubs wants to talk to a lawyer first then deffinetely do that. Here's one that I quickly drew up:

[DATE]

[OFFENDING PERSON]
[STREET ADDRESS]
[CITY][STATE][ZIP]

Re: False and defamatory statements made by [OFFENDING PERSON] to [YOUR DAYCARE] owned and operated by [YOUR NAME] regarding childcare.

Dear [OFFENDING PERSON]:

This notice is to hereby warn and notify [OFFENDING PERSON] and family, to CEASE AND DESIST making false and defamatory statements regarding [YOUR NAME] and my business and its ongoing matters with [OFFENDING PERSON].

It has come to our attention that false statements were made by [OFFENDING PERSON] in which the following occurred. [EXPLINATION OF THE SITUATION].

The statements made by [OFFENDING PERSON] regarding [YOUR DAYCARE] are false, defamatory, constitute tortious interference with business, and as such, are actionable under [YOUR STATE] law.

If we are forced to commence a lawsuit against [OFFENDING PERSON] in order to stop continued false and defamatory statements, be advised that we will seek recovery of all attorneys’ fees and costs incurred herein as a result. While we certainly hope this is not necessary, we are prepared to pursue whatever avenues are necessary to stop the continued false and defamatory statements made against my daycare by [OFFENDING PERSON].

Attached you will find copies of the false and defamatory statements in question as well as the true nature of the reason in which you were terminated which was due to multiple violations to our policies and breach of contract.

Sincerely,


[YOUR NAME]


Than make copies of all conversations where she slanders your business and highlight every place that she says something false or demafatory.

Also type up a seperate itemized list in cronological order of what happened starting with when she told she would only be taking a few days off and point out all the times that she broke your policy and quote your policy afterwards. I would also attach a copy of your emailed termination notice.

Just remember that anything that you send should be sent certified mail and you should keep a copy of it for yourself.
Yes, this.

So sorry you are going through this!!! ((HUGS)) Holy cow, how awful. I can definitely understand why you are so sick about it.
Reply
MyAngels 03:14 PM 12-06-2012
Originally Posted by MarinaVanessa:
Then I would deffinetely be sending a cease and disist letter. . I've had to write one up before (for a different matter, not slander) and it did the trick without me having to get a lawyer involved (and money out of my pocket). Perhaps the threat of pursuing it legally can get her to stop? If your hubs wants to talk to a lawyer first then deffinetely do that. Here's one that I quickly drew up:

[DATE]

[OFFENDING PERSON]
[STREET ADDRESS]
[CITY][STATE][ZIP]

Re: False and defamatory statements made by [OFFENDING PERSON] to [YOUR DAYCARE] owned and operated by [YOUR NAME] regarding childcare.

Dear [OFFENDING PERSON]:

This notice is to hereby warn and notify [OFFENDING PERSON] and family, to CEASE AND DESIST making false and defamatory statements regarding [YOUR NAME] and my business and its ongoing matters with [OFFENDING PERSON].

It has come to our attention that false statements were made by [OFFENDING PERSON] in which the following occurred. [EXPLINATION OF THE SITUATION].

The statements made by [OFFENDING PERSON] regarding [YOUR DAYCARE] are false, defamatory, constitute tortious interference with business, and as such, are actionable under [YOUR STATE] law.

If we are forced to commence a lawsuit against [OFFENDING PERSON] in order to stop continued false and defamatory statements, be advised that we will seek recovery of all attorneys’ fees and costs incurred herein as a result. While we certainly hope this is not necessary, we are prepared to pursue whatever avenues are necessary to stop the continued false and defamatory statements made against my daycare by [OFFENDING PERSON].

Attached you will find copies of the false and defamatory statements in question as well as the true nature of the reason in which you were terminated which was due to multiple violations to our policies and breach of contract.

Sincerely,


[YOUR NAME]


Than make copies of all conversations where she slanders your business and highlight every place that she says something false or demafatory.

Also type up a seperate itemized list in cronological order of what happened starting with when she told she would only be taking a few days off and point out all the times that she broke your policy and quote your policy afterwards. I would also attach a copy of your emailed termination notice.

Just remember that anything that you send should be sent certified mail and you should keep a copy of it for yourself.
Definitely this.

The only thing I would add would be the specific stipulation that she needs to remove the offending posts as well.
Reply
MarinaVanessa 03:54 PM 12-06-2012
Originally Posted by MyAngels:
Definitely this.

The only thing I would add would be the specific stipulation that she needs to remove the offending posts as well.
Oh yeah that too!!
Reply
Tags:libel, slander
Reply Up