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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>DCM Bringing Felon To My Home
misspollywog 02:12 PM 10-18-2011
I have a new, very nice dcm and two adorable dcks that I love to death but twice now she has brought her brother along to drop off/pick up the kids and today I found out he is a felon. He seems very nice and seems to be genuinely wanting to move past his past. However, his felonies are for armed robbery and kidnapping. He was very honest with me and told me he is trying to get a job but no one will give him a chance. The robbery was twelve years ago but the kidnapping one was just four years ago.

Since he is out now so I assume it was a 2nd or 3rd degree (not that it matters really because it speaks to his character).

I don't feel unsafe, persay, I am capable of taking care of myself and we have cctv cameras here but... um, well...

Naturally, I have to protect my dc and address this with dcm but I'm not sure how to do it without seeming like I am like everyone else -- unwilling to give this guy a chance to be a productive citizen. Has anyone dealt with this and if so, do you have any suggestions?
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wdmmom 02:20 PM 10-18-2011
Do not allow him in your home. If DCM is there, he can wait in the car. And if he's on the pick up consent form, tell DCM that he isn't allowed in your house for the safety of the children presently enrolled.

If she has a dispute, tell her it would be no different than having your neighbor over to have coffee yet they are a sex offender and set the local grocery store on fire.
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Crystal 02:21 PM 10-18-2011
Well, it is likely that it is not legal for you to allow him around your child care children....you might want to ask the licesning agency.
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2ndFamilyDC 02:50 PM 10-18-2011
Originally Posted by Crystal:
Well, it is likely that it is not legal for you to allow him around your child care children....you might want to ask the licesning agency.
I know here in Minnesota he would not be allowed in my home or any where near the dc kids.
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daycare 02:21 PM 10-18-2011
Originally Posted by misspollywog:
I have a new, very nice dcm and two adorable dcks that I love to death but twice now she has brought her brother along to drop off/pick up the kids and today I found out he is a felon. He seems very nice and seems to be genuinely wanting to move past his past. However, his felonies are for armed robbery and kidnapping. He was very honest with me and told me he is trying to get a job but no one will give him a chance. The robbery was twelve years ago but the kidnapping one was just four years ago.

Since he is out now so I assume it was a 2nd or 3rd degree (not that it matters really because it speaks to his character).

I don't feel unsafe, persay, I am capable of taking care of myself and we have cctv cameras here but... um, well...

Naturally, I have to protect my dc and address this with dcm but I'm not sure how to do it without seeming like I am like everyone else -- unwilling to give this guy a chance to be a productive citizen. Has anyone dealt with this and if so, do you have any suggestions?
Yes my own SIL brought a registered sex offender into my DC and did not tell me at the time. I found out later when they decided to divorce. Yes that's right she knew he was one but still had a child with him and married him. Well several years later they are now divorcing.
Well my niece was here for a few weeks. I called my LiC and They said even though he is a sex offender he has the right to his child unless court says otherwise. So I had to allow for this sicko to my house. I had to term my own niece after a week because I feared for everyones safety.

In your case he's not related. I would think that as long as he's not hanging out at your house and he's only accompanying the sister it's not really a huge deal.
If he does something out of line, I would say something.
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godiva83 02:30 PM 10-18-2011
I have never had this happen or anything similar, so I can not speak on expierience.
I would want to believe that his disclosure about his felonies is a step in the right direction; however, those are pretty serious charges in my books and I feel if you didn't bring it up, you wouldn't be doing ur job (protecting ur DCK's) and this Mum should realize this.

I think as a DCP you are not crossing lines by bringing it up. Maybe, just be straight forward saying this information will remain confidential; however, you as a DCP due to the charges your brother faced he can never come unattended and to be honest it makes you nervous, and would appreciate cooperation and some form of reassurance
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misspollywog 02:56 PM 10-18-2011
Thanks guys. This is really uncomfortable. I'm legally unlicensed so I don't have a state rule on this, however, I have to protect my home and my dc. You've all given me great suggestions and I appreciate it.

She shouldn't have put me in this position to begin with and the more I think on it the madder it makes me.
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Blackcat31 02:57 PM 10-18-2011
I have a couple of DCD's that have criminal records. One for something similar to what you mentioned. He is the step father to one of my dck's and a soon to be father to a yet unborn baby. He is not banned from dropping off or picking up the daycare child. He has served his debt to society and is treated like any other parent.

Licensing said people do not have to disclose their criminal histories to use daycare services or be present on the premisis. The only exception is if they are registered sex offenders and in that scenario, I would have already been notified by our Sheriff's Dept. already.

2ndFamilyDC~ My licensor could not find anything in our rules and regs stating that a parent/significant other with a criminal history can NOT be on our property during child care hours. If you have this information, could you send me the info on where I can find this? Thanks.
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daycare 03:19 PM 10-18-2011
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I have a couple of DCD's that have criminal records. One for something similar to what you mentioned. He is the step father to one of my dck's and a soon to be father to a yet unborn baby. He is not banned from dropping off or picking up the daycare child. He has served his debt to society and is treated like any other parent.

Licensing said people do not have to disclose their criminal histories to use daycare services or be present on the premisis. The only exception is if they are registered sex offenders and in that scenario, I would have already been notified by our Sheriff's Dept. already.

2ndFamilyDC~ My licensor could not find anything in our rules and regs stating that a parent/significant other with a criminal history can NOT be on our property during child care hours. If you have this information, could you send me the info on where I can find this? Thanks.
I was about to add something similar to what blackcat said

I guess my question is how would you have known if he or the sister didn't tell you?
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misspollywog 04:05 PM 10-18-2011
Originally Posted by daycare:

I guess my question is how would you have known if he or the sister didn't tell you?
True and I wish I didn't know now because it makes me uncomfortable knowing and of course I'm going to judge his character now based on his crimes which may or may not be fair, but it is what it is.

I try not to judge people, really. In fact, the first time I saw him he was sporting a blue bandana on his head -- kind of a gangsterish look, especially for a small town in Idaho but I gave him the benefit of the doubt because he seemed very nice, well mannered and today he was well dressed and seemed genuinely sincere about wanting to get a job. He also looked very ashamed of himself when he told me about his record so I do feel he is trying to move past his past.

Ugh. I dunno why this bothers me, except KIDNAPPING. Really??

On one hand, I feel bad because we all make mistakes (granted few of us commit armed robberies or kidnappings!) and sometimes people like him need to be given a chance. On the other hand, even if I didn't know about the felonies, I have other dcp's coming and going and am uncomfortable having a "gangsta" looking guy coming and going given that isn't the norm here.

I would feel the same way if one of my dcm's brought a guy covered in swastikas wearing a wife beater and combat boots (those guys are not hard to find here, unfortunately) to my door and I'm 99.9% sure this particular dcf would be uncomfortable with that since they are Hispanic/Native American!

Thinking I should breach the subject with her using that analogy, actually. As in, I don't mind if he comes to my door (NOT inside!) as long as she is with him and as long as he isn't sporting his "gangsta" look because I know she'd appreciate I treat a neo-nazi type the same for her families benefit regardless of a criminal record. Oh, and btw, knowing his record, if he tries anything funny she should make sure he knows I will shoot him first and ask questions later. After all, this IS Idaho lol (kidding of course! Well, sort of..).
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daycare 04:32 PM 10-18-2011
I know how you feel trust me I really do.
But the thing is that we cant really do much. If you really feel that uncomfortable, I would say something to the DCM. I would just tell her

HEy DCM I just wanted to talk to you about your brother for a min. I can't stop thinking about the fact that he has commited a crime that involves children and that he comes here to the DC where there are a lot of children present. I know taht everyone has a past and that he is really trying to change his life, but I just can't help feel uncomfortable about it. I really hope that you understand that this comes from a business aspect and that I hope you can understand where I am coming from. Please don't take this the wrong way, but I would prefer that your brother not attend the daycare with you when you are here to drop off and pick up.

I am sure the that DCM will understand.
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2ndFamilyDC 11:35 AM 10-20-2011
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I have a couple of DCD's that have criminal records. One for something similar to what you mentioned. He is the step father to one of my dck's and a soon to be father to a yet unborn baby. He is not banned from dropping off or picking up the daycare child. He has served his debt to society and is treated like any other parent.

Licensing said people do not have to disclose their criminal histories to use daycare services or be present on the premisis. The only exception is if they are registered sex offenders and in that scenario, I would have already been notified by our Sheriff's Dept. already.

2ndFamilyDC~ My licensor could not find anything in our rules and regs stating that a parent/significant other with a criminal history can NOT be on our property during child care hours. If you have this information, could you send me the info on where I can find this? Thanks.




I was told if they have a felony they cannot be on my property or near the kids.
Of course my licensor would not know if a dc parent had a felony, but if I was told that one of my dc families had a felon living with them and wanted them to come to my home I would call my licensor and discuss it with them.

If I had a family member with a felony he/she would not be allowed to live in my house or be around the kids, so why would it be different for a dc parent? Makes no sense to me.
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Blackcat31 11:50 AM 10-20-2011
Originally Posted by 2ndFamilyDC:
I was told if they have a felony they cannot be on my property or near the kids.
Of course my licensor would not know if a dc parent had a felony, but if I was told that one of my dc families had a felon living with them and wanted them to come to my home I would call my licensor and discuss it with them.

If I had a family member with a felony he/she would not be allowed to live in my house or be around the kids, so why would it be different for a dc parent? Makes no sense to me.
Oh, I hear you but unfortunately just like Target might drug test its employees they have no say over the personal business of the people who purchase their goods and services. KWIM?

I did run it by my licensor and she said there is no law in the state of MN saying that but as a PRIVATE business owner, you are entitled to ban or prohibit anyone you choose to.
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momofsix 11:51 AM 10-20-2011
Originally Posted by 2ndFamilyDC:
I was told if they have a felony they cannot be on my property or near the kids.
Of course my licensor would not know if a dc parent had a felony, but if I was told that one of my dc families had a felon living with them and wanted them to come to my home I would call my licensor and discuss it with them.

If I had a family member with a felony he/she would not be allowed to live in my house or be around the kids, so why would it be different for a dc parent? Makes no sense to me.
In most states they are specific felonies listed, especially those having to do with children
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