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  #1  
Old 05-23-2011, 10:20 AM
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Default Why Can't Parents Keep Their Kids Home When They Are Off???

Lets start off by saying I cut my maternity leave short by 3 weeks to help this family out. Their provider quit on them with no notice, so being nice I offered to help them out as she expressed they were in desperate need of care. I soon found out that she has a couple days off during the week and was still bringing the kids on those days! When I didn't even want to start yet...my baby was 3 weeks old and I missed out on spending quality time with her alone because this mom was soooo desperate for care. Instead I am sleep deprived caring for her kids while she does who knows what. I find it very rude of her and will never ever think about anyone else but myself and family from now on. I am so bitter about it I am thinking of terming!!

I have been on both sides and when my children were in daycare...I picked them up the moment I got off, even when it was early. I also kept them home when I was off. Why wouldn't you??? This is what i have trouble understanding....because we pay someone anyway we take them to get our moneys worth! I find this very sad, the only ones who suffer are the poor children. I never wanted to give up any moment I could spend with my children. I couldn't live with myself if i did this to my children.

In the past I have had families that had the same belief as me and this is my first time dealing with this and I just don't know if I can. I am tired of being irritated all the time about this!!
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Old 05-23-2011, 10:45 AM
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This is something I've actually asked at interviewing! "If you have a day off, do you intend to keep your child home with you?" My contract specifically says I only provide care to parents that are at school or work. I obviously can't control this but I can control who I work for and who I don't.

Putting them on the spot with that kind of question likely gets a truthful answer.
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Old 05-23-2011, 10:51 AM
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I am sorry this happened to you. Bet it makes you wish you knew the other providers side of the story, doesn't it?

I am often skeptical of the stories I am told of other providers and used to call to get the other side before I accepted them. We generally have similar personality types, YKWIM?

I no longer take kids unless I am their first provider. It is a personal choice. I am older and have reached a point where I don't want to "fix" other folks issues anymore... I will on an emergency medical basis only (sent to me by the state temporarily), now.

I have come to accept that the DCK's will be here everyday I am open, for as many hours a day as I am open. It is the new reality of daycare. These parents are overtasked and overworked with too many balls in the air.

The only way they will stay home is if you don't allow them to come. Cut and dry.

You will need to think hard on this and decide if you will provide Full-Time Care or Contracted hours. (There are benefits and risks to both) Then stick to it with no exceptions.

Nannyde is the only one I know of who has mastered a way to have both.... She has mad skills so I hope she pipes in for you, too.
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Old 05-23-2011, 11:08 AM
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Originally Posted by wdmmom View Post
This is something I've actually asked at interviewing! "If you have a day off, do you intend to keep your child home with you?" My contract specifically says I only provide care to parents that are at school or work. I obviously can't control this but I can control who I work for and who I don't.

Putting them on the spot with that kind of question likely gets a truthful answer.
I actually added this same thing in my contract about 4 yrs. ago. I have written- My hrs. are for work and commute times only!!
When you ask them this, are they truthful, or do they look at each other, and say- Well I guess
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Old 05-23-2011, 11:30 AM
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Hi have been through two maturnity leaves in my daycare both times had to come back to work at two weeks. I have only one set of parents that will leave their child in care open to close even though they get out of work at 2pm. Sometimes I am sad by the little one year old who is left at my house and hour after all the children are gone. He is only one but he walks around my home yelling "mama," dada and he goes to the window and door and waits for them. I am unable to distract him with toys or books, he usually cries when I hold him and wants to be put down. He knows the other kids are gone home, and wants to go as well. I find the kids that are in care the most are the ones who obsess the most off of my own kids. They have the worst behaviors and crave adult attention until that becomes their whole focus. They are usually the ones who act up the most at drop off and pick up because this is the only time they see their parents. One liitle one I have gets pick up to be drop off at another child care or put to bed. Weekends are at grandparents. Not kidding, the parents are really open about it and if I have a question they say they don't know they will have to ask grandma!!! Two sets of my parents pick up, give their children supper and put them to bed at 6:30-7!!! Three and four year olds. They claim their child sleeps 6:30pm-7:30am!!
I use to have a bunch of families that would dump there kids when they are not working. Now at the start of the year when I chose my vacation time I also choose a variety of days through out the year that I would be closed or closed earlier. I typed these up in addition to my two weeks vacation I take each year. None of these are paid for me. I call these my "me" days. Also I use to close at 5:30 and now I close at 5pm. I don't tell the parents but the half hour difference I use for cleaning and in my mind I still close at 5:30 pm, so if parents are "late" they pay my fee and I feel like I am not being taken advantage of.
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Old 05-23-2011, 08:09 PM
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Maternity leaves are a pain. There is ALWAYS a parent there to give you a full on sob story and dump their kid on you no matter if you got home from the hospital the day before. Some of it is pure laziness and the rest is, sadly, just the way most people are these days. So overwhelmed with their own life that they do not have even a second to consider someone else's life, especially not someone they are paying a service to. You are essentially a robot that has no feelings, no needs and certainly should be able to juggle their kids and put your own aside. All that to say, I am sorry you had to learn the hard way as I also had to learn but don't schedule your maternity leaves around the families. 99.99999% of the time, you are going to end up resentful, exhausted and seriously underappreciated.
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Old 05-23-2011, 11:52 PM
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Parents have some nerve!
I actually had a parent call my husband while I was in labor with my dd and demand that I find back up care for her right then!
I was Induced 4 weeks early because of severe toxemia and they were saying that both the baby and I could have died!
Then when i got home she said that if i didn't watch her kids that day, she would find other care because I was in the hospital too long. (5 days)
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Old 05-24-2011, 08:13 AM
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Originally Posted by wdmmom View Post
This is something I've actually asked at interviewing! "If you have a day off, do you intend to keep your child home with you?" My contract specifically says I only provide care to parents that are at school or work. I obviously can't control this but I can control who I work for and who I don't.

Putting them on the spot with that kind of question likely gets a truthful answer.
I ask during the interview and the answer is almost always 'of course we will' and maybe they do the first few times. But in my experience it doesn't last long!

That's why I had to change my attitude about it. Parents aren't going to change. My dcp's for the most part are really respectful of on-time payments, my house, my rules and my vacation time etc. so if they bring the kids when they are not working, all I ask is that they let me know they are going to be late and be here by 9:00am.

Just my feeling on it
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Old 05-24-2011, 08:23 AM
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Parents have some nerve!
I actually had a parent call my husband while I was in labor with my dd and demand that I find back up care for her right then!
I was Induced 4 weeks early because of severe toxemia and they were saying that both the baby and I could have died!
Then when i got home she said that if i didn't watch her kids that day, she would find other care because I was in the hospital too long. (5 days)
I seriously hope you let her go! That's awful!
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Old 05-24-2011, 08:33 AM
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I would be absolutely LIVID
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Old 05-24-2011, 09:21 AM
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I seriously hope you let her go! That's awful!
I did 5 weeks later, but not before she brought her Tylenol dosed fevered child to my daycare knowing I had a a newborn and my baby got a fever and my 5 week old d.d. was hospitalized for a week...AND she was mad that I wasn't available to watch her kids because I wanted to stay with my baby in the hosp.
She didn't care about me or my family, my d.d. had 3 i.v.'s put in during that week because they got infiltrated and she eventually had one in her scalp because her tiny veins kept collapsing.
The other parents were so mad that they all wanted to smack her!
I was very new back then and now I don't put up with this crap anymore.
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Old 05-25-2011, 08:32 AM
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Would you still expect payment on those days the child wasn't in your care? If so, I don't think you're being reasonable. An off day for working parents can include having appointments to attend, errands to run and just plain to relax from the daily grind.
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Old 05-25-2011, 11:51 AM
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Would you still expect payment on those days the child wasn't in your care? If so, I don't think you're being reasonable. An off day for working parents can include having appointments to attend, errands to run and just plain to relax from the daily grind.
I love how everyone who is "against" the original poster is always unregistered.

Do you not realize that we as providers have things to do, and believe or not, need to "relax from the daily grind" as well sometimes. It is easier to do such things if you have a kid out here and there. And last time I checked, parents get paid vacation. We really don't.
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Old 05-25-2011, 12:15 PM
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I love how everyone who is "against" the original poster is always unregistered.

Do you not realize that we as providers have things to do, and believe or not, need to "relax from the daily grind" as well sometimes. It is easier to do such things if you have a kid out here and there. And last time I checked, parents get paid vacation. We really don't.
I agree-
Parents taking vac. days off work- I understand that all parents need to make dr. appts. etc...
I had parents who always had off one day a week, she still cont. to bring her child to my daycare at the same time and pick up at the same time, even though, she was off all day. This would happen every week, till I finally said something to her. This child was 9 months old also.
Do you want to drop down to 3 days/week? I see you are not working on Tues.
She said- I guess- I explained to her, it would save her $25.00/week.
Then you have the parents that take off sick, 3-4 week vac. days a yr. and always bring their child to daycare. WOW!!!
You don't even want to spend one day of your vac. with your child???
Then I have the ones, that have the day off that come in whenever they feel like it, and pick up late!!!!
This has only happened a couple of times though.
I had one parent take the entire week off, and the colicy baby spent everyday with me, drop off at the same time and pick up at the same time everyday. FUNN!!!!
I did change my contract to say- my contracted hrs. are for work and commute times only. I still have families that bring their child to me, when they are off, but I don't mind if it is one day, or a couple of days, but it's ridiculous anymore than this
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Old 06-02-2011, 04:18 PM
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Would you still expect payment on those days the child wasn't in your care? If so, I don't think you're being reasonable. An off day for working parents can include having appointments to attend, errands to run and just plain to relax from the daily grind.
Why not that is what is holding your child's spot. I feel some parent just want to put their kids off on someone else. I tell my parents that I am here to help them while they work or go to school only! I'm not here to RAISE their kids thats why God gave the kids to them! When I raised my kids they went everywhere with me. If I had to go to the DR, get grocerys, or what ever. That was my responsibility not to put them off on someone.
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Old 06-02-2011, 08:43 PM
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I am the original poster and have not registered as I just found this site recently and was deciding if I was gonna stick around or not.

The parents of the kids I am talking about is has been off several days a week a lately and is still bringing the kids for the ENTIRE DAY!!! She is going back home everyday!! This is very frustrating to me...like I said I have been on both sides of this and when my children were in daycare they were there when i was working ONLY. If i was off they were with me these are MY children to raise. I did have to pay whether they were they or not. But that precious time with my children was worth more to me then taking my children to daycare because I have to pay for it anyway.
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Old 06-02-2011, 10:52 PM
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Lets start off by saying I cut my maternity leave short by 3 weeks to help this family out. Their provider quit on them with no notice, so being nice I offered to help them out as she expressed they were in desperate need of care. I soon found out that she has a couple days off during the week and was still bringing the kids on those days! When I didn't even want to start yet...my baby was 3 weeks old and I missed out on spending quality time with her alone because this mom was soooo desperate for care. Instead I am sleep deprived caring for her kids while she does who knows what. I find it very rude of her and will never ever think about anyone else but myself and family from now on. I am so bitter about it I am thinking of terming!!
I have been on both sides and when my children were in daycare...I picked them up the moment I got off, even when it was early. I also kept them home when I was off. Why wouldn't you??? This is what i have trouble understanding....because we pay someone anyway we take them to get our moneys worth! I find this very sad, the only ones who suffer are the poor children. I never wanted to give up any moment I could spend with my children. I couldn't live with myself if i did this to my children.

In the past I have had families that had the same belief as me and this is my first time dealing with this and I just don't know if I can. I am tired of being irritated all the time about this!!
as you said yourself - you're bitter. you didn't want to start yet. you feel like you're missing time with your own child, etc. the bottom line is that you chose to go back to work early. it's hard to believe that you would do that only to help a family out. surely money was a factor. see, you could have said NO. since you said YES the parent is paying for childcare and can use it whenever you are open unless your contract says otherwise. you're blaming your lack of judgement/poor decision on the parent. it would be like the owner of a store opening when they weren't really ready to open and then being upset with people who came in to shop but didn't buy anything.

my daughter is in a summer program while i work and go to school. i usually leave school around 1pm after i meet with a study group and i pick her up right after even though she can stay until 5:30. half of the time when she sees me she's like, "i don't want to go yet!" she'll be playing or doing some activity and won't want to leave. i make her leave anyway. anyhow, there are days when i don't have school and i'm not scheduled to work and she wants to go to the program. i'll tell her, "well, i don't have to go to school/work. you can stay home with me." sometimes she will and sometimes she'll say, "no! we're supposed to swim today," or "suzy is going to be there and i want to play with her." i don't have school or work tomorrow and she's staying home with me. i had school today and i picked her up right after, but i made her lay down with me and take a nap when we got home because i was literally falling asleep when i was driving home on the interstate. she probably would've rather stayed at the program and i probably should've let her while i took a necessary nap instead of making her take one with me. i already know what people would say about someone SLEEPING while there child was in care (which she wasn't) but it shouldn't matter if she were. i pay them GOOD money and i pick her up early 90% of the time. i can imagine what people would say if i wrecked on the interstate and killed a family and then said, "well, i've just been so busy. i can't get any sleep and i'd feel bad leaving my child in daycare when i'm not actually in class/at work." i can only guess that they'd say, "how stupid. why didn't you go take a nap if she was in daycare? you're paying them to watch her." i'm sure the dead person's family would at least say that. of course the provider wouldn't.

i could go on forever about this topic. i get sick of hearing it. i think if you feel so strongly about parents not having their child in care unless they're at work 100% of the time then you should make a contract based on the hours that they work. if you don't do that then you are giving parents permission to use your services (that they PAY for) for all the hours you are open - regardless of what they are doing.
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Old 06-02-2011, 11:36 PM
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while I really don't quite understand parents who choose to take their kids to day care when they themselves are off, I feel it's their right to do what they want with their time. After all, they have paid for the services. Sometimes, they set that time for dr. appts, or just lay on the couch. I'm sorry, but as much as I feel all little ones should be at home with their own parent raising them...that's just not the way it is. Besides, I'd be out of a job if all mommies stayed home!!! LOL
That being said; I, too, give a little "huh?" when I find out parents have stayed home but brought their child to daycare; though it is their right.
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Old 06-03-2011, 04:05 AM
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I am curios for those who say they never take off and leave kids in daycare.... when your child was in elementary school and you had a day off, did you take your kids out of school to be home with you? I am pretty sure you don't. If you got off early from work...did you check them out of school to run errands with you?


I see nothing wrong with an occasional day off a parent has that may need to catch up on cleaning, sleep, errands etc. Especially when a child goes to a place with a routine and school-like atmosphere. Of course I think it's important to take days off with your kids to spend one on one time witth them.


But if I can get in and get out of the grocery store in half the time, then yes I will stop by the store before I pick them up. (I always pick up by 2:30-3:00 anyway).
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Old 06-03-2011, 04:23 AM
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I am curios for those who say they never take off and leave kids in daycare.... when your child was in elementary school and you had a day off, did you take your kids out of school to be home with you? I am pretty sure you don't. If you got off early from work...did you check them out of school to run errands with you?


I see nothing wrong with an occasional day off a parent has that may need to catch up on cleaning, sleep, errands etc. Especially when a child goes to a place with a routine and school-like atmosphere. Of course I think it's important to take days off with your kids to spend one on one time witth them.


But if I can get in and get out of the grocery store in half the time, then yes I will stop by the store before I pick them up. (I always pick up by 2:30-3:00 anyway).
My kid is required to attend school by law. I wouldn't go get him during a school day because I wouldn't want to take the chance of dinging against his allowable days off before I get sent to go see about a Truancy Court Judge.

They televise Truant Court and run it OVER AND OVER AND OVER again on the Des Moines Public School TV channel. I don't want to be on TV for that.
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Old 06-03-2011, 05:45 AM
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i have a parent ask me if they can bring their child in because they are off. I said ' Ha, you paid for the day/week, you can do whatever you want!' that's up to you! You are so right, they do pay for the day. BUT i do understand when parents are off, why can't they just keep the kid(s) home?
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Old 06-03-2011, 05:54 AM
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As a parent I don't understand it either. I've heard about people who take whole weeks off and still send their kids to daycare. Why? I take an afternoon a week off but do so to spend time with my child, not to spend time by myself. Only once have we sent our child to daycare when one of us wasn't working and that was because my husband had pinkeye and was quarantined from us. When I was sick I kept her home with me. Maybe some feel since they are paying for the day they should use it? I guess I can understand that. One of the reasons we chose our new center over our former home daycare was because they give us ten "free" days a year for illness and vacation. It saves us several hundred dollars a year.
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Old 06-03-2011, 07:14 AM
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My kid is required to attend school by law. I wouldn't go get him during a school day because I wouldn't want to take the chance of dinging against his allowable days off before I get sent to go see about a Truancy Court Judge.

They televise Truant Court and run it OVER AND OVER AND OVER again on the Des Moines Public School TV channel. I don't want to be on TV for that.
Ok, I understand that.


To me, I guess, I am comparing this to the same as a SAHM using a Mother's Day Out program for 1 day a week, so she can get things done. Or two parents having a babysitter come over on a Friday Night, so they can go on a date.


Now of course, If you have it in your contract that you don't allow it, then parents should abide to it.
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Old 06-03-2011, 07:43 AM
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I am curios for those who say they never take off and leave kids in daycare.... when your child was in elementary school and you had a day off, did you take your kids out of school to be home with you? I am pretty sure you don't. If you got off early from work...did you check them out of school to run errands with you?


I see nothing wrong with an occasional day off a parent has that may need to catch up on cleaning, sleep, errands etc. Especially when a child goes to a place with a routine and school-like atmosphere. Of course I think it's important to take days off with your kids to spend one on one time witth them.


But if I can get in and get out of the grocery store in half the time, then yes I will stop by the store before I pick them up. (I always pick up by 2:30-3:00 anyway).
I can't speak for everyone else here, but when I respond to posts on the topic of keeping your kids home if you are not working, I am thinking about the days before my children started elementary school. Attending school is mandatory, attending daycare is not.
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Old 06-03-2011, 07:44 AM
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As a parent I don't understand it either. I've heard about people who take whole weeks off and still send their kids to daycare. Why? I take an afternoon a week off but do so to spend time with my child, not to spend time by myself. Only once have we sent our child to daycare when one of us wasn't working and that was because my husband had pinkeye and was quarantined from us. When I was sick I kept her home with me. Maybe some feel since they are paying for the day they should use it? I guess I can understand that. One of the reasons we chose our new center over our former home daycare was because they give us ten "free" days a year for illness and vacation. It saves us several hundred dollars a year.
It's great that you spend your extra time with your children...and I've never met a provider who minded parents dropping off when the didn't work here and there...it's the ones who NEVER take their extra time with their children that drive us crazy.

It's great that your center offers free days, but the thing is this. Parent's shouldn't need a financial incentive to spend time with their kids.
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Old 06-03-2011, 07:48 AM
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I see nothing wrong with an occasional day off a parent has that may need to catch up on cleaning, sleep, errands etc. Especially when a child goes to a place with a routine and school-like atmosphere. Of course I think it's important to take days off with your kids to spend one on one time witth them.


But if I can get in and get out of the grocery store in half the time, then yes I will stop by the store before I pick them up. (I always pick up by 2:30-3:00 anyway).
I don't think anyone is talking about parents who take the OCCASIONAL day off and pick up by 2:30 or 3pm.

You have NO idea how many kids are dropped off at 6:30 AM and then not picked up until 5 or 5:30 pm every single day...and then when Mom gets a day off...same schedule...EVERY time. I've had a family in daycare whose kids attend between 10.5 and 11 hours per day for nearly 4 years and they are NEVER home with Mom or Dad even if Mom and Dad aren't working. EVER. It's those people who create the frustration among providers.
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Old 06-03-2011, 07:54 AM
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I don't think anyone is talking about parents who take the OCCASIONAL day off and pick up by 2:30 or 3pm.

You have NO idea how many kids are dropped off at 6:30 AM and then not picked up until 5 or 5:30 pm every single day...and then when Mom gets a day off...same schedule...EVERY time. I've had a family in daycare whose kids attend between 10.5 and 11 hours per day for nearly 4 years and they are NEVER home with Mom or Dad even if Mom and Dad aren't working. EVER. It's those people who create the frustration among providers.
Sorry I misunderstood, I completely agree with the above. Kids need time with their parents that do not include just eating dinner and putting them to bed.


And the lying to the provider is not right. I remember reading about that lady that would get dressed like she went to work and dropped the kids off, then went home. If you are honest with the provider, then I am sure they wouldn't mind you stopping by to run an errand if you get off work early. (As long as you aren't late picking them up).
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Old 06-03-2011, 07:57 AM
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It's great that you spend your extra time with your children...and I've never met a provider who minded parents dropping off when the didn't work here and there...it's the ones who NEVER take their extra time with their children that drive us crazy.

It's great that your center offers free days, but the thing is this. Parent's shouldn't need a financial incentive to spend time with their kids.
Oh, I totally agree that they shouldn't, but that's how it is unfortunately. It's hard for people to see past money. There's a mindset of "as long as I have to pay for it anyway ...." I think if daycare providers offered a few "free" days to their parents, like my center does, they'd maybe see their parents start to keep their kids home more on their days off. Maybe that's just wishful thinking on my part. For the record, there were several days when we kept our daughter home from the home daycare and paid for the days anyway. We don't only do it because we get "free" days now. It's just nice to not have to pay.
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Old 06-03-2011, 08:51 AM
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There I registered!

And like someone else posted, I wasn't talking about parents taking the occasional day off and bringing their child to daycare anyway. Its the ones who are here everyday open to close even though their mother is off a lot.

And yes I did CHOOSE to start early but it was only because I was thinking of the other person and if I was on her side and desperately looking for childcare. I think of others before myself too often and am learning very quickly in this business NOT to do that! I had saved enough money back for my family to survive for me to take 6-8 weeks off afterwards. Believe me it is a lesson learned.
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Old 06-03-2011, 10:12 AM
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There I registered!

And like someone else posted, I wasn't talking about parents taking the occasional day off and bringing their child to daycare anyway. Its the ones who are here everyday open to close even though their mother is off a lot.

And yes I did CHOOSE to start early but it was only because I was thinking of the other person and if I was on her side and desperately looking for childcare. I think of others before myself too often and am learning very quickly in this business NOT to do that! I had saved enough money back for my family to survive for me to take 6-8 weeks off afterwards. Believe me it is a lesson learned.
I used to do that when I first started to get a new client....Now I don't bend for anyone on my hours. Here are my hours, if they work for you great, if not, then Im not for you. I have learned, DONT change the rules for one family, you will regret it later..

Look at it like this...you are a business and you have set hours, just like most business....Now I know this is a bad comparision, but target wont open an hour early just for you would they? lol
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Old 06-03-2011, 10:24 AM
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Lets start off by saying I cut my maternity leave short by 3 weeks to help this family out. Their provider quit on them with no notice, so being nice I offered to help them out as she expressed they were in desperate need of care. I soon found out that she has a couple days off during the week and was still bringing the kids on those days! When I didn't even want to start yet...my baby was 3 weeks old and I missed out on spending quality time with her alone because this mom was soooo desperate for care. Instead I am sleep deprived caring for her kids while she does who knows what. I find it very rude of her and will never ever think about anyone else but myself and family from now on. I am so bitter about it I am thinking of terming!!
I'm not one who usually minds if a parent brings a child to me on their day off. As long as they're paying me to care for their child, I feel they have every right to spend their time as they see fit - as long as I have a way to reach them in case of emergency.

The above situation is a bit different, though. You cut your maternity leave short by 3 weeks to help the family out. That's a huge favor you did for them! You not only gave up one-on-one time with your new baby but also the rest you needed and could have had if you hadn't agreed to help the family out of their jam. It seems to me, the family should have returned the favor done for them by not taking advantage of your willingness to help them. They should have kept the kids home if they weren't working. I can understand why you're feeling upset.

Unless they're totally selfish people, though, they probably just never gave much thought to your side of things. If you're still in the middle of that aniticipated 3 week leave, I'd speak up. I'd explain that you were trying to help them out so they didn't miss work but that you'd appreciate it if they would keep the kids home on their days off so you can catch up on your rest and devote the extra time to your baby while you can. I wouldn't charge them for the days they don't bring the kids, though - although it would be nice of them to pay you anyway since you're going out of your way for them. Once your maternity leave is over, you could go back to full time hours/pay.

If your maternity leave is over by now, I think I'd try to give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they just weren't thinking. Try to get past it if they're a good dc family otherwise. Live and learn. The next time someone asks for something, give some thought to what will work best for you and set some perameters around what you're willing to do and not willing to do.

Congratulations on the new baby!
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Old 06-03-2011, 10:30 AM
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My kid is required to attend school by law. I wouldn't go get him during a school day because I wouldn't want to take the chance of dinging against his allowable days off before I get sent to go see about a Truancy Court Judge.
Exactly! Comparing to kids enrolled in school to day care kids is like comparing apples to oranges. There is a difference.
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Old 06-03-2011, 11:33 AM
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I'm not one who usually minds if a parent brings a child to me on their day off. As long as they're paying me to care for their child, I feel they have every right to spend their time as they see fit - as long as I have a way to reach them in case of emergency.

The above situation is a bit different, though. You cut your maternity leave short by 3 weeks to help the family out. That's a huge favor you did for them! You not only gave up one-on-one time with your new baby but also the rest you needed and could have had if you hadn't agreed to help the family out of their jam. It seems to me, the family should have returned the favor done for them by not taking advantage of your willingness to help them. They should have kept the kids home if they weren't working. I can understand why you're feeling upset.

Unless they're totally selfish people, though, they probably just never gave much thought to your side of things. If you're still in the middle of that aniticipated 3 week leave, I'd speak up. I'd explain that you were trying to help them out so they didn't miss work but that you'd appreciate it if they would keep the kids home on their days off so you can catch up on your rest and devote the extra time to your baby while you can. I wouldn't charge them for the days they don't bring the kids, though - although it would be nice of them to pay you anyway since you're going out of your way for them. Once your maternity leave is over, you could go back to full time hours/pay.

If your maternity leave is over by now, I think I'd try to give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they just weren't thinking. Try to get past it if they're a good dc family otherwise. Live and learn. The next time someone asks for something, give some thought to what will work best for you and set some perameters around what you're willing to do and not willing to do.

Congratulations on the new baby!
Thank you...its nice to have someone understand why i was upset about it. Unfortunately my maternity leave would have been over with by now anyway. And your right the thought probably never crossed their mind that I did them a huge favor. I need to just get over and move on. It would probably be alot easier if I wasn't so sleep deprived!!
I am thankful I have found this site...i have found this job to be stressful and isolating at times and it really helps to read about others going thru similar circumstances. I can talk to my dh but I just don't think anyone actually understands until they do this job!
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Old 06-03-2011, 12:36 PM
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Thank you...its nice to have someone understand why i was upset about it. Unfortunately my maternity leave would have been over with by now anyway. And your right the thought probably never crossed their mind that I did them a huge favor. I need to just get over and move on. It would probably be alot easier if I wasn't so sleep deprived!!
I am thankful I have found this site...i have found this job to be stressful and isolating at times and it really helps to read about others going thru similar circumstances. I can talk to my dh but I just don't think anyone actually understands until they do this job!
I think everyone should do daycare for a couple of yrs. to understand everything of it.
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Old 06-03-2011, 01:01 PM
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I know this will sound bad, but I charge only for the time that kids are in my care because I want the parents to spend their free time with their kids. I would rather get paid a little bit less rather than see parents just send their kids here every day even though mom or dad isn't working that day. I have some kids pretty much from open to close and I know that when their parents pick them up, they'll spend very little time with them before bedtime. When I say time, I mean time where they are giving their child their undivided attention.

That being said, I still end up with kids coming to daycare even though the parents aren't working. All I ask is for the parent to be reachable by cell phone while they are running errands or having their "me time". I had hoped that saving money would be incentive enough to spend their free time with their children but that's not the case.
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Old 06-03-2011, 01:14 PM
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Oh, I totally agree that they shouldn't, but that's how it is unfortunately. It's hard for people to see past money. There's a mindset of "as long as I have to pay for it anyway ...." I think if daycare providers offered a few "free" days to their parents, like my center does, they'd maybe see their parents start to keep their kids home more on their days off. Maybe that's just wishful thinking on my part. For the record, there were several days when we kept our daughter home from the home daycare and paid for the days anyway. We don't only do it because we get "free" days now. It's just nice to not have to pay.
Nope, you are correct. If providers offered a few free days parents would keep their kids home more. I used to offer 10 free per year and they ALWAYS got used up.

But here is the thing...I am NOT a center. I am an individual provider. It cost my family well over $1500 per year to provide an incentive for people to take some time with their kids. And, usually, they just sent them to Grandmas to save a little money.

I hear what you are saying and I think many parents agree with you. But honestly, why should the provider and her family have less in order to make sure that a parent sees their child more? Plus, you can bet your bottom dollar that the center has those free days built in to the cost of tuition. So essentially, in order to offer free days I would simply boost my rates...
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Old 06-03-2011, 02:52 PM
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You are absolutely right - the cost of tuition is a bit higher at the center than at the home daycare we were in. We had wanted to use the center from the start but felt we couldn't afford it. After we weren't happy with the home daycare situation, we started looking at the center again and when we crunched the numbers, we found that with the two free weeks, it was pretty much a wash.

I just think it's a tad silly for providers to complain about parents not keeping their kids at home, yet expect them to pay for days when the kids aren't there.
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Old 06-03-2011, 08:25 PM
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Nope, you are correct. If providers offered a few free days parents would keep their kids home more. I used to offer 10 free per year and they ALWAYS got used up.

But here is the thing...I am NOT a center. I am an individual provider. It cost my family well over $1500 per year to provide an incentive for people to take some time with their kids. And, usually, they just sent them to Grandmas to save a little money.

I hear what you are saying and I think many parents agree with you. But honestly, why should the provider and her family have less in order to make sure that a parent sees their child more? Plus, you can bet your bottom dollar that the center has those free days built in to the cost of tuition. So essentially, in order to offer free days I would simply boost my rates...
This is so right! I have to say though, I offer my families vacation days and for the most part, they hardly ever get used up. Or they wait until Christmas and panic because they don't want to lose them, so they do the last minute "we're not coming" bit. I asked one time where the kids were going for the next three days, because they had been supposed to come to me. Mom said, oh, well DCD and I are off work. SOOOO, you were going to send your kids to me even though you were home, when my child was on school break and my family was here from out of state for the holidays? That's great. Thanks.

Last edited by WDW; 06-03-2011 at 08:25 PM. Reason: Typo - ick!
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  #39  
Old 06-03-2011, 08:27 PM
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I just think it's a tad silly for providers to complain about parents not keeping their kids at home, yet expect them to pay for days when the kids aren't there.
Do you get paid vacation? Paid sick leave? Personal time? Yeah. We don't. What do you make an hour? (not really asking..just making my point) Most of us get around $2.
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Old 06-03-2011, 09:03 PM
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To expect to get paid and not have to work.

If you want to do someone a favor - say so - like " I am on maternity leave, but I could use the extra money for the days you really need me for the next few weeks, then I am happy to go full time."

I think its great to have a lower ratio when parents have their kids home, but I also think its not fair to charge...why should you get less work and keep the money, especially if it is a regular day? If you want to provide four days of care, charge for four days!

I had a provider who accused me of not allowing my child to participate in the morning activities when I wanted to keep him until I went to work at 11 ( so drop of at 10, have breakfast with him...). Its like I was robbing him of something by not letting him eat fruit loops with her and her rotating staff of nincompoops. (yes I can spell that)

You can imagine that we did not stay there long.
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Old 06-03-2011, 09:19 PM
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Do you get paid vacation? Paid sick leave? Personal time? Yeah. We don't. What do you make an hour? (not really asking..just making my point) Most of us get around $2.
its hard for them to relate because they don't own their own company. When they leave there are other people there to run it, the company doent shut down. Home daycare is the closest you can get to personal care for your child, unless you want to hire a nanny. Even then, Nanny's get paid vacations or get to go on vactaions with the family..............

To unregistered:The thing about DC is that we cant control the number of people we have in our care, we are limited by the state. Unlike most bussiness, we can't increase our monthly profits month after month. We are limited to a certain amount of money we can make. So if little susie keeps getting sick how is that our fault? Little susies parents and johnnys parents and kellies parents all decide to go on vaction at the same time why should I have to be finically punished. There is no way I could make up for the financila loss due to thier absence.

Let me ask you this, how would you like it if your boss didnt pay you every day he decided to stay home, went on vactiaon or got sick.....that is what you are asking us to do...............
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Old 06-03-2011, 11:06 PM
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[quote=daycare;117083]its hard for them to relate because they don't own their own company. When they leave there are other people there to run it, the company doent shut down. Home daycare is the closest you can get to personal care for your child, unless you want to hire a nanny. Even then, Nanny's get paid vacations or get to go on vactaions with the family..............

To unregistered:The thing about DC is that we cant control the number of people we have in our care, we are limited by the state. Unlike most bussiness, we can't increase our monthly profits month after month. We are limited to a certain amount of money we can make. So if little susie keeps getting sick how is that our fault? Little susies parents and johnnys parents and kellies parents all decide to go on vaction at the same time why should I have to be finically punished. There is no way I could make up for the financila loss due to thier absence.

Let me ask you this, how would you like it if your boss didnt pay you every day he decided to stay home, went on vactiaon or got sick.....that is what you are asking us to do...............[/QUOTE]

Exactly! Well said! THAT is how I have to do it because I have state funded families.
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  #43  
Old 06-04-2011, 12:03 AM
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Do you get paid vacation? Paid sick leave? Personal time? Yeah. We don't. What do you make an hour? (not really asking..just making my point) Most of us get around $2.
that's so inaccurate and unfair to make people think that providers only get $2 per hour. you may get $2 per hour PER CHILD, but when you have multiple children - it's much more than $2 per hour. why on earth would you work for $2 an hour? that's absurd.
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Old 06-04-2011, 06:10 AM
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that's so inaccurate and unfair to make people think that providers only get $2 per hour. you may get $2 per hour PER CHILD, but when you have multiple children - it's much more than $2 per hour. why on earth would you work for $2 an hour? that's absurd.
This. My former provider charged $2.50 an hour and had 12 children in her care. Of course, as with any business, there is overhead, but even then I'm willing to bet she made more than my paltry $12 an hour. So yeah, not a whole lot of sympathy there.

I'm not saying don't deserve a vacation. I'm saying that most business owners don't expect me to pay for it.
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Old 06-04-2011, 06:43 AM
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I make $1.78 an hour per child after my insurance, LIC fees, taxes, curriculum, food, house maintenance, extra car insurance, light, water, and so on.

I have a small LIC and I can have only 5 kids because I have one child that counts towards my capacity. do the math. I make less than minimum wage.
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Old 06-04-2011, 06:45 AM
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I make $1.78 an hour per child after my insurance, LIC fees, taxes, curriculum, food, house maintenance, extra car insurance, light, water, and so on.

I have a small LIC and I can have only 5 kids because I have one child Of my own that counts towards my capacity. do the math. Its just a little more than minimum wage.
................

Last edited by daycare; 06-04-2011 at 06:48 AM.
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Old 06-04-2011, 11:06 AM
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This. My former provider charged $2.50 an hour and had 12 children in her care. Of course, as with any business, there is overhead, but even then I'm willing to bet she made more than my paltry $12 an hour. So yeah, not a whole lot of sympathy there.

I'm not saying don't deserve a vacation. I'm saying that most business owners don't expect me to pay for it.
I can only have 5 children, inc. my own one child. I usually only run between 2 and 3 children though. I receive about $3.00 per hr. then everything has to come out of that yet. I never really figured this all out. I bet it is $1.00 somthing an hr. per child.
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Old 06-04-2011, 11:20 AM
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This. My former provider charged $2.50 an hour and had 12 children in her care. Of course, as with any business, there is overhead, but even then I'm willing to bet she made more than my paltry $12 an hour. So yeah, not a whole lot of sympathy there.

I'm not saying don't deserve a vacation. I'm saying that most business owners don't expect me to pay for it.
Wow 12 kids.

If she had twelve kids at that rate it would only be thirty dollars an hour before expenses. That's not enough money to pay someone to care for that many kids. That's a VERY low salary for that amount of work.

The parents should definitely pay for a lot of vacation time for someone who is capable of doing that well. She's getting such a low amount of money before expenses.

Where in the world do you live that allows twelve kids to be with one adult at a time. I assume that most of these kids were either school aged kids or part time kids. Surely you wouldn't allow your child to be in a home with twelve kids under the age of five full time. It wouldn't be safe no matter who was doing it.
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Old 06-04-2011, 11:41 AM
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I'm saying that most business owners don't expect me to pay for it.
Sure they do. It's just not obvious to you because they include that cost in the product/service you pay for.

I don't charge my day care families for my vacation weeks. As a day care parent, I would have paid it but wouldn't have liked it so I don't demand it of my familes. I can understand why other providers do, though. Bottom line is, day care providers set their policies and families have the choice of accepting those terms or finding another provider who doesn't charge for vacation time.
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Old 06-04-2011, 12:02 PM
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Wow 12 kids.

If she had twelve kids at that rate it would only be thirty dollars an hour before expenses. That's not enough money to pay someone to care for that many kids. That's a VERY low salary for that amount of work.

The parents should definitely pay for a lot of vacation time for someone who is capable of doing that well. She's getting such a low amount of money before expenses.

Where in the world do you live that allows twelve kids to be with one adult at a time. I assume that most of these kids were either school aged kids or part time kids. Surely you wouldn't allow your child to be in a home with twelve kids under the age of five full time. It wouldn't be safe no matter who was doing it.
Ha! "Capable of doing that well." This is the person who left my daughter unattended in her car seat in the garage. And also left her unattended in the house with her 12-year-old. I don't call that "doing that well." It's why we left. This site, and the attitude of the providers here, ensures that I will never use a home daycare again.
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Old 06-04-2011, 12:05 PM
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Wow 12 kids.

If she had twelve kids at that rate it would only be thirty dollars an hour before expenses. That's not enough money to pay someone to care for that many kids. That's a VERY low salary for that amount of work.

The parents should definitely pay for a lot of vacation time for someone who is capable of doing that well. She's getting such a low amount of money before expenses.

Where in the world do you live that allows twelve kids to be with one adult at a time. I assume that most of these kids were either school aged kids or part time kids. Surely you wouldn't allow your child to be in a home with twelve kids under the age of five full time. It wouldn't be safe no matter who was doing it.
Also, it's what the law allows in my state (MN). Pretty shocking, isn't it? But it's the norm. I had no idea how terrible it would be. NEVER will I use a home daycare again. BTW, there were only 2-3 school age kids in the bunch, plus the provider's own children! Really absurd.
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Old 06-04-2011, 12:34 PM
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If you don't want to pay for a provider's vacation then don't. Any parent is welcome to look for a provider that does not charge for their vacations. If your provider does charge for it and you remain with the daycare, stop complaining and acting like she is taking advantage of you. As with any business, if you don't like the deal then go elsewhere.
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Old 06-04-2011, 12:37 PM
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This. My former provider charged $2.50 an hour and had 12 children in her care. Of course, as with any business, there is overhead, but even then I'm willing to bet she made more than my paltry $12 an hour. So yeah, not a whole lot of sympathy there.

I'm not saying don't deserve a vacation. I'm saying that most business owners don't expect me to pay for it.
If you think she is making so much "easy" money then why don't you try and open up your own daycare? I am 99% sure that your comment comes from ignorance. Nobody who is a good provider and able to meet the needs of a house full of children in her own home and deal with the parents day after day would say something so ridiculous.
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Old 06-04-2011, 03:40 PM
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I make $1.78 an hour per child after my insurance, LIC fees, taxes, curriculum, food, house maintenance, extra car insurance, light, water, and so on.

I have a small LIC and I can have only 5 kids because I have one child that counts towards my capacity. do the math. I make less than minimum wage.
well, the math is:

$1.78 x 5 = $8.90 per hour

minimum wage is $7.25

people who make $7.25 are taxed on that money and then pay their bills with what is left afterward. you are saying you make $8.90 per hour AFTER taxes, lights, water, etc. are paid.

not too shabby.
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Old 06-04-2011, 03:44 PM
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Originally Posted by QualiTcare View Post
well, the math is:

$1.78 x 5 = $8.90 per hour

minimum wage is $7.25

people who make $7.25 are taxed on that money and then pay their bills with what is left afterward. you are saying you make $8.90 per hour AFTER taxes, lights, water, etc. are paid.

not too shabby.
Actually, I would assume that the net amount stated would be after the business expenses, not personal expenses. Only a percentage of household items and utilities are deductible expenses to the daycare, not the entire amount of household expenses. $8.90 an hour is not a lot of money (at least where I live) - I saw the other day in the paper that a local convenience store is hiring at $10 an hour.
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Old 06-04-2011, 03:51 PM
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Originally Posted by MyAngels View Post
Actually, I would assume that the net amount stated would be after the business expenses, not personal expenses. Only a percentage of household items and utilities are deductible expenses to the daycare, not the entire amount of household expenses. $8.90 an hour is not a lot of money (at least where I live) - I saw the other day in the paper that a local convenience store is hiring at $10 an hour.
i still don't buy the "poor me, i make minimum wage" claim. people who make minimum wage aren't making 6, 7, 800 per week - they're making 4-500 every TWO weeks.

5 kids x $150 per kid = $750 a week

even before expenses that's pretty damn good especially for a job that requires no formal training or education. if you're bringing in that much per week AND have a spouse who works - it's just not that sad, sorry.
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Old 06-04-2011, 03:55 PM
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Originally Posted by QualiTcare View Post
i still don't buy the "poor me, i make minimum wage" claim. people who make minimum wage aren't making 6, 7, 800 per week - they're making 4-500 every TWO weeks.

5 kids x $150 per kid = $750 a week

even before expenses that's pretty damn good especially for a job that requires no formal training or education. if you're bringing in that much per week AND have a spouse who works - it's just not that sad, sorry.
I don't necessarily disagree with you, and I'm not one to cry poor when it comes to my job. However, there are many people out there who think daycare providers are just raking in the bucks, when that's just not the case. It's a job that, when done right, can pay a decent wage, but it is by no means a high paying job.
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Old 06-04-2011, 04:48 PM
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Ha! "Capable of doing that well." This is the person who left my daughter unattended in her car seat in the garage. And also left her unattended in the house with her 12-year-old. I don't call that "doing that well." It's why we left. This site, and the attitude of the providers here, ensures that I will never use a home daycare again.
OK...so I have a question. I doubt you will answer, but I'm putting it out there anyway....

If you don't like the board and you don't plan on using home daycare ever again, why do you post here?

You are so incredibly anti-provider that your attitude alone alienates anyone who might have been changed by your message...I mean really, what's the point?
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Old 06-04-2011, 05:08 PM
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You are absolutely right - the cost of tuition is a bit higher at the center than at the home daycare we were in. We had wanted to use the center from the start but felt we couldn't afford it. After we weren't happy with the home daycare situation, we started looking at the center again and when we crunched the numbers, we found that with the two free weeks, it was pretty much a wash.

I just think it's a tad silly for providers to complain about parents not keeping their kids at home, yet expect them to pay for days when the kids aren't there.
It's a two way street...I don't charge parent when I'm closed due to illness (2x in 10 years) or I'm on vacation (2 weeks per year). I have to pay the same expenses each and every month to keep daycare running....if I compromise my income, I am compromising the financial health of my business and my family. That doesn't help anyone.

I've had absentee parents in the past and they are without fail the parents who complain about fees. Fortunately, I have a really great group who use daycare as NECESSARY...who truly WANT to be with their kids. Now don't get me wrong, I do have parents that drop off here and there to get stuff done and I applaud them for doing it because the don't ALWAYS do it...they take vacation time with their kids AND take time for themselves. Heck, I keep one kid 15 minutes late so Dad can do golf league...no charge. Of course, they keep dcb home one day a week most weeks because Mom has that day off and she LOVES having the extra time with her child....she doesn't expect me to lower our standard of living to accomodate her work schedule nor does she lower quality time with her child simply because she has to pay daycare tuition.

Truthfully, I think the debate is one of socio-economic differences. Families who are less affluent feel entitled to discounts and are under economic strain, whereas more affluent families are accustomed to paying for high quality services and do so willingly.
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Old 06-04-2011, 07:09 PM
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Minimum wage is $8.00 in CA
I have everything figured to a T
Yes I get about 700 a week but take everything into consideration that I have to pay to run the dc and taxes, DC insurance, million dollar policy to transport and curriculum are some of my biggest expenses. Let's not forget all the little stuff.
Also I am in a 30% tax bracket. So $200 a week goes straight to uncle sam
When you look at it like you did it looks great, I wish. Lol

Also I live in the SF one of the most expensive places in the united states. No one here could survive off of minimum wage unless you have 10 people living in one house.

Last edited by daycare; 06-04-2011 at 07:13 PM.
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