Children screaming at ME!!!!!!

[MsMe]

I have a highly emotional child since he was 6wks. He is now 4. It has been AL LONG 4 years.

he has always had outburst. I have been able to "controll"them and they for the most part have not effected teh other kids.

Untill..................

He when he breaks a rule (hitting, running/screaming (in the house), guns, ect...) and I correct him he now SCREAMS at me that I am bad.

Examples
"NO!!!, BAD MS, MsMe!!!
YOU ARE BAD.
YOU SAID A BAD WORD TO ME.
I AM NOT GOING TO SAY "HI" TO YOU ANYMORE.
I AM MAD AT YOU

I have always been able to remain calm while talking to him.

Some times I am able to ignore the behavior as to not feed into it, but other times I have a baby that is sleeping and I can NOT allow him to wake her up!!!!!!

Other times I have to say,
"who are you mad at? why? what did I do? Did I break the rule?"

This can calm him down 5 out of 10 times..the other times I have to walk away and come back a few minuts later and try again.

I have NEVER had a child treat me this way. I am at a complete loss. It has started to rub off on the other children. I have one more boy that has started the same attitude. and he was my screamer as an infant and I have not heard that terrible sound in three years!!! and OMG

[pixsydust]

I'm sorry to hear that. The best thing for you to do is talk to the parents about his behavior and see if you can work together to figure out a way to change the child's behavior. If that doesn't work it's best to terminate the contract. It's hard to terminate kids especially after you've had them for so long, but it's better if the other kids aren't exposed to that behavior since kids tend to "follow the leader." The other kids will begin pushing you to see what they can get away with.

I took in some DCKs that were foster kids. I tried to give them the benefit of the doubt knowing they were troubled. I had to terminate 2 of them after 4 days. I kept the other one until he went back to live with his mom, but only because the foster parent is my personal friend. I did it as a favor to him, but since the DCB has left it is so peaceful here. I am less stressed and I don't feel exhausted at the end of the day. Dealing with that behavior on a daily basis is stressful and it drains your energy. IMO, it's not worth the money you earn to deal with it.

[beachgrl]

I have a screecher/screeamer too. He doesn't communicate that well and anytime he doesn't get his way he screeches and whines and you can't ask him anything, tell him no, get him to tell you anything other than screaming. I just send him to his time out area until he is ready to talk. He seems to be improving and learning it won't work with me but we still get quite a lot of the screaching which will be fun when him and the toddler I keep come on the same day and he is a super light sleeper, fun fun. On a better note, its a Friday with a three day weekend and all I have is the toddler today

[beachgrl]

oh I forgot he also screams no at me and has told me to be quiet and shut up once for which he got himself and instant time out and had to apologize. He now just screams no at me or I don't want to (to stop doing whatever it is I told him to stop doing or that he couldn't do) I think it makes him even madder that he doesn't get a reaction out of me..

[DBug]

I'll probably be the odd man out , but I have very little tolerance for disrespect. I have a 2.5 yo who will do the same thing as this dcb, and I get right down in her face, hold her hands, and with the "mean mommy" voice say "Your words are rude and disrespectful! You MAY NOT talk to me that way!". She's strong-willed and you just know she's waiting for someone to step up to the plate and give her some rigid boundaries. So that job falls to me .

I think you did well giving dcb an instant time-out for yelling at you. I think as long as he knows the rules and you're consistent with the consequences, he'll get it eventually. Thing is, it may still be another 4 years . So the question would then be, are you willing/able to continue dealing with it? If terming makes sense for you right now, it's guaranteed that your days will go MUCH more smoothly!

[beachgrl]

I tell mine the same thing, You may not talk to me that way and you may not say such and such, it is not nice, then off to time out. I may end up terming mine or the dcps might the way we are going so far which I don't know that I would mind if I wasn't just starting out and no full timers yet.