Your Thoughts On Mom's Potty Training Email To Me And My Response

[Lucy]

I knew this was coming. I have a girl who isn't even 2 yet. She will be 2 on Dec 5th. She's their first child. The mom has told me, "Sometimes she asks to go potty. I think one weekend soon I will see if I can start potty training her". My thoughts are that she's too young, and that she asks to go because she sees the 3 yr olds at my DC do it and wants to be "grown up" like them. So today I get the following email:

"We started working with (girl) on potty training this weekend, since she has shown so much interest in going that we thought we would try. She has done well and has had accidents. I wanted to give you a heads up on what we have been doing and what you would like to have done at your house. At home, she has worn the training panties during the day and wore pull ups at nap and bedtime. When we started yesterday, we set the clock for 20 minutes intervals and would take her in, most times she would go. Today, we haven't set the clock and keep reminding her to let us know when she needed to go. We also would ask her to make sure she wasn't forgetting to let us know.

Before she started training she would mention she needed to go potty and we would take her in. After starting the process, I have noticed that she hasn't really told us she needed to go, it was always the timer or us asking. Do you think that's a sign she's not ready? Or should we back off a bit and see if she'll say it?

What would you like to have done at your house? Do you want her in pull ups or do you mind if she's in the training panties and ask her periodically if she needs to go?

Let me know your thoughts. It's been a day where I keep telling myself that she's pretty young and I wonder what we've started! I hope you enjoy the rest of your day and I'll talk to you soon."

My reply:

"That's great that she is showing interest and is having some success! As you said she is a bit younger than the average age. I've usually done girls at 2 1/2 and boys closer to 3. Some ARE ready prior to that, and some not till 3 1/2.

That being said, home is a whole different world to a group Daycare setting. My policy is to have them be accident free at home for a week before they can be "unprotected" here. Even with me asking on a regular schedule, they will often be focused on playing and not be able to shift their thinking to their bladder. Also, and this is just my theory mind you, I think taking them in on a regular schedule isn't really "training". I think it has to be all on them to let you know. You can remind them to let you know, but they need to have the experience of the urgency in order to learn to listen to their body. It sounds like that's what you did on the 2nd day from what you said. And the accidents do need to happen. They need to learn a consequence for not listening to that feeling. And obviously, I can't devote as much time to the accidents as you could at home.

Pullups are fine. And if she says she wants to go, I will definitely take her. As (the two 3 yr old girls at my DC) go potty throughout the day, I might say "does anyone else need to potty?", and if she says yes, I will take her. I will work with her as much as time and commitments with the other kids permit, but I just can't do unprotected until she shows capability of listening to her body mostly on her own.

By the way, I do a smaller toilet seat that fits on the big toilet, with a step stool. Not sure what she is used to at home. We'll give it our best effort and I'll keep you posted! See you tomorrow."



Your thoughts? Did I word it nicely so as not to tick her off, but yet get my point across clearly? Do you guys agree with what I said, or do you have other methods or policies? I've done DC 17 years, but I've always just done whatever the particular parent says they did at home. I'm just tired of dealing with the accidents, so I thought I'd use my new backbone I found here at Daycare.com!!!

ETA: Wow, colorful post!! LOL

[lilrugrats]

Sounds good, I might take out the part where you wrote...:And obviously, I can't devote as much time to the accidents as you could at home.: and "I will work with her as much as time and commitments with the other kids permit" just a thought.

[Lucy]

That part was just meant to have her realize that it's a GROUP setting, whereas at home she only has one kid to care for, I have 3 during school times, and 6 before and after school. Was it too harsh sounding??? Yikes.

[lilrugrats]

Not too harsh, but dont want her to think you "arent willing" to devote extra time. I agree though she is not ready until telling you. Putting on potty every 20 minutes in my opinion is not potty training. Good luck! I did have a set of parents wanting to start at 18 months. I was leary, but she wore pull ups here and I waited for a sign from her. After a weekend working with mom and dad she would say pee pee a few times a day, then go. She was fully trained by 2, but took about 6 months. When they are ready I dont think it should take THAT long!

[Abigail]

I do think taking a child to the bathroom for a potty break is "training", but I feel that your letter focuses more on "trained" vs. "training" because I kept reading how you can't be "unprotected" until a week of successful training happens at home. Just under 2 is not too young. We had a girl who was 16 months start potty training and before she was 20 months she was fully trained and has been in underwear since 20 months. She is an only child and our daycare did have 18 kids.

Do you have a potty training policy? I do, it's about half a page. I don't think that taking her every 20 minutes to the bathroom is beneficial in any way. You should ask how they came up with the 20 minute theory. LOL. I would start out by creating a potty training section in your handbook. Then, I would let the parent know that you will begin having her take a potty break along with the rest of the big kids instead of just doing diapers or asking if she needs to go. Asking them is what you do when they're potty trained, don't give her the option because every scheduled potty break everyone tries or they get their diaper checked. Simple as that.

Also, what is the difference between training panties and Pull-Ups? This is why you should create a potty training section in your handbook. "Do you want her in pull ups or do you mind if she's in the training panties and ask her periodically if she needs to go?"

[youretooloud]

I thought it sounded good. I think it's great that they are willing to potty train their own child. I have never had a parent who will potty train a child. I've had to do it every single time.

I usually just know when they are ready...but, I doubt I'd try to potty train before two... I always do it way before age three though.

[Lucy]

My answers to you are in red.

Originally Posted by Abigail

Just under 2 is not too young.

I agree with you in some cases. And that's why I told her "some" can at that age, but it is under the average age.


I don't think that taking her every 20 minutes to the bathroom is beneficial in any way. You should ask how they came up with the 20 minute theory. LOL.

I agree!! It seemed kind of arbitrary to me too LOL. It's not training her to do anything except NOT think about going, because mom & dad will think for you.


Asking them is what you do when they're potty trained, don't give her the option because every scheduled potty break everyone tries or they get their diaper checked. Simple as that.

I don't do the "scheduled potty and diaper" time. I make my daycare a home environment where they go when they feel like they need to go (once they are fully trained, that is). I change a diaper when it feels full. Nothing against more scheduled care, but that's just how I roll.

Also, what is the difference between training panties and Pull-Ups?

Training pants (the way I interpret what she's talking about) are the thick cotton underpants that are kind of cloth diaper material. They leak badly when wet! Obviously pullups wouldn't.

[Blackcat31]

I think your response was great. It clearly stated your take on the situation, showed support for what they are doing and opened up the door for further conversation.

I used to do ALL the work before also. I listened to and followed whatever method the parent chose but after so many years in this business I realized it is ALOT of work on my part and very little on the parents.

I now request that parents start and complete the process at home before the child can wear undies only at daycare. Don't get me wrong, I fully support the parents but am no longer so actively involved.

[Lucy]

Originally Posted by Blackcat31

I think your response was great. It clearly stated your take on the situation, showed support for what they are doing and opened up the door for further conversation.

I used to do ALL the work before also. I listened to and followed whatever method the parent chose but after so many years in this business I realized it is ALOT of work on my part and very little on the parents.

I now request that parents start and complete the process at home before the child can wear undies only at daycare. Don't get me wrong, I fully support the parents but am no longer so actively involved.

Yes. This sums me up exactly!

[cheerfuldom]

Do you have a potty training policy outlined in your parent handbook or contract? I believe the spirit of the email was very well intended but maybe it is just me, I am not seeing clear "this is what I can do" and "this is what I cannot do". It seems like there is a lot of wiggle room in your response that opens this up to further discussion or expectations from the mom. I have found it easiest to say something like "here are the five things I require before pursuing potty training at daycare....". For instance, it doesn't sound like you are willing to do the every 20 minutes thing (which I wholeheartedly agree with you!) however, the guidelines of what you WILL do aren't clear. How often do you take the older girls? How long will you let her "try" on the potty?

Just from the gist of mom's email, the child has already lost interest. Stating "she is doing well but has had accidents" seems like parent-speak for "we want her potty trained but can see that it is not happening right now". My best advice is to work on a clear potty training policy. Forward this to the mom and all other moms of diapered kids (so your policy will not be a surprise when the time comes)

My general policy includes the fact that the parents do all the initial work and provide pull ups as long as I require them. These two facts have greatly cut down the potty training for kids that are completely not ready yet. It forces the parents to get a clear idea of what their child can and cannot do. So far, ALL of the "early" potty training parents have backed off after one or two days of doing it themselves

[Abigail]

Don't you at least have a scheduled potty break before nap and before going outside? I have about 4 times throughout the day that we'll do potty breaks just because it keeps us on schedule, but I also plan to expand to a group daycare with 12-18 next summer so I must keep organized or potty accidents will occur more often.

[Lucy]

Originally Posted by cheerfuldom

Do you have a potty training policy outlined in your parent handbook or contract? I believe the spirit of the email was very well intended but maybe it is just me, I am not seeing clear "this is what I can do" and "this is what I cannot do". It seems like there is a lot of wiggle room in your response that opens this up to further discussion or expectations from the mom. I have found it easiest to say something like "here are the five things I require before pursuing potty training at daycare....". For instance, it doesn't sound like you are willing to do the every 20 minutes thing (which I wholeheartedly agree with you!) however, the guidelines of what you WILL do aren't clear. How often do you take the older girls? How long will you let her "try" on the potty?

Just from the gist of mom's email, the child has already lost interest. Stating "she is doing well but has had accidents" seems like parent-speak for "we want her potty trained but can see that it is not happening right now". My best advice is to work on a clear potty training policy. Forward this to the mom and all other moms of diapered kids (so your policy will not be a surprise when the time comes)

My general policy includes the fact that the parents do all the initial work and provide pull ups as long as I require them. These two facts have greatly cut down the potty training for kids that are completely not ready yet. It forces the parents to get a clear idea of what their child can and cannot do. So far, ALL of the "early" potty training parents have backed off after one or two days of doing it themselves

I do get what you are saying. If this were the parents of the 3 yr old girl that I have with pita parents, I definitely WOULD have been more cut and dried on what can and cannot happen. I think you just get a "feeling" on some people, if you follow me. These particular parents have been very respectful and have never taken advantage of me in any way, shape, or form. They have always asked first for everything, and I feel that the tone of her email above is of asking, not telling. If I had to pick a negative for them, and this is a stretch, it would be that they are first-time parents, as evidenced in her potty training "method" lol.

What I WILL do wasn't clear? Hmm. I thought it was. I'm not being sarcastic at all, so please don't take it that way. I told her that I will take her whenever she asks, and that I will ask "does anyone else need to go potty" whenever one of the 3 yr olds go. I said I will work with her as much as possible, but that I need her to be in pullups so I don't end up cleaning up an accident.

This is currently my youngest child, so a fore-warning for diapered kids is a moot point here, but I get what you're saying. I do need to include a clear written plan in my contract. Thanks for that suggestion.

You said, "My general policy includes the fact that the parents do all the initial work and provide pull ups as long as I require them." And yes, this is exactly what my intention was to get across to her. I hope I did!

UPDATE: She just answered and said,

"Sounds good with you working with her as you can. Her diaper bag will have both pullups and diapers. Keep me posted if she does go during the day.

We too have the same toilet set up as you do.

Thanks again for your help. Let me know if you can think of anything else. We're new at this! I thought we would try now since she was so interested.

See you tomorrow!"

[MyAngels]

I thought it sounded fine. Not too harsh at all.

[Abigail]

So sweet, I think you have a wonderful parent to work with!

[Lucy]

Well thanks everyone for your opinion. I'll let you know how today goes. It's still early here in the west.

Originally Posted by Joyce

I knew this was coming. I have a girl who isn't even 2 yet. She will be 2 on Dec 5th. She's their first child. The mom has told me, "Sometimes she asks to go potty. I think one weekend soon I will see if I can start potty training her". My thoughts are that she's too young, and that she asks to go because she sees the 3 yr olds at my DC do it and wants to be "grown up" like them. So today I get the following email:

"We started working with (girl) on potty training this weekend, since she has shown so much interest in going that we thought we would try. She has done well and has had accidents. I wanted to give you a heads up on what we have been doing and what you would like to have done at your house. At home, she has worn the training panties during the day and wore pull ups at nap and bedtime. When we started yesterday, we set the clock for 20 minutes intervals and would take her in, most times she would go. Today, we haven't set the clock and keep reminding her to let us know when she needed to go. We also would ask her to make sure she wasn't forgetting to let us know.

Before she started training she would mention she needed to go potty and we would take her in. After starting the process, I have noticed that she hasn't really told us she needed to go, it was always the timer or us asking. Do you think that's a sign she's not ready? Or should we back off a bit and see if she'll say it?

What would you like to have done at your house? Do you want her in pull ups or do you mind if she's in the training panties and ask her periodically if she needs to go?

Let me know your thoughts. It's been a day where I keep telling myself that she's pretty young and I wonder what we've started! I hope you enjoy the rest of your day and I'll talk to you soon."

My reply:

"That's great that she is showing interest and is having some success! As you said she is a bit younger than the average age. I've usually done girls at 2 1/2 and boys closer to 3. Some ARE ready prior to that, and some not till 3 1/2.

That being said, home is a whole different world to a group Daycare setting. My policy is to have them be accident free at home for a week before they can be "unprotected" here. Even with me asking on a regular schedule, they will often be focused on playing and not be able to shift their thinking to their bladder. Also, and this is just my theory mind you, I think taking them in on a regular schedule isn't really "training". I think it has to be all on them to let you know. You can remind them to let you know, but they need to have the experience of the urgency in order to learn to listen to their body. It sounds like that's what you did on the 2nd day from what you said. And the accidents do need to happen. They need to learn a consequence for not listening to that feeling. And obviously, I can't devote as much time to the accidents as you could at home.

Pullups are fine. And if she says she wants to go, I will definitely take her. As (the two 3 yr old girls at my DC) go potty throughout the day, I might say "does anyone else need to potty?", and if she says yes, I will take her. I will work with her as much as time and commitments with the other kids permit, but I just can't do unprotected until she shows capability of listening to her body mostly on her own.

By the way, I do a smaller toilet seat that fits on the big toilet, with a step stool. Not sure what she is used to at home. We'll give it our best effort and I'll keep you posted! See you tomorrow."



Your thoughts? Did I word it nicely so as not to tick her off, but yet get my point across clearly? Do you guys agree with what I said, or do you have other methods or policies? I've done DC 17 years, but I've always just done whatever the particular parent says they did at home. I'm just tired of dealing with the accidents, so I thought I'd use my new backbone I found here at Daycare.com!!!

ETA: Wow, colorful post!! LOL

Just because she isnt 2 does NOT mean she isnt ready. MOST girls train before 2 and at age 2 with boys being 2 and half in my exprience I also dont allow 3 years old untrained in my daycare as thats to old. My little girl was 20 months old and potty trained in 5 days I was gonna wait til she was 2 but she decided she was ready. If this girl knows to pee and or poop in the potty and shows she CAN do it then why wouldnt you think she is ready just because she is under 2 that makes no sense. You should support Mom in HER decision for HER child its not yours to make. Mom is doing all the right things and good for her and you shouldnt hold the child back just because she is so called to young.

[nannyde]

Originally Posted by Unregistered

You should support Mom in HER decision for HER child its not yours to make.

Wow that's a very very expensive philosophy. I could NEVER afford that.

[BigMama]

Originally Posted by Unregistered

Just because she isnt 2 does NOT mean she isnt ready. MOST girls train before 2 and at age 2 with boys being 2 and half in my exprience I also dont allow 3 years old untrained in my daycare as thats to old. My little girl was 20 months old and potty trained in 5 days I was gonna wait til she was 2 but she decided she was ready. If this girl knows to pee and or poop in the potty and shows she CAN do it then why wouldnt you think she is ready just because she is under 2 that makes no sense. You should support Mom in HER decision for HER child its not yours to make. Mom is doing all the right things and good for her and you shouldnt hold the child back just because she is so called to young.

You are right that it is the parent's decision - they can decide to try to potty train at any time. However, there are readiness factors that one should look for regardless of the child's age. These include indicating that her diaper is wet or soiled, showing an interest in the potty, staying dry for longer periods, being able to sit unassisted, and being able to follow simple directions. While some children will learn before age two, many are physically not able to. The muscles that are used to control "holding" and "releasing" are not developed yet. I don't think the OP was just dismissing the parent's request because she felt she was arbitrarily "too young" - I think she was genuinely thinking about whether or not the little girl is ready. Also, when a child is on a group child care setting, the provider must consider and balance the individual child's needs against the needs of the group. It is very difficult to clean up BM and urine several times a day because a child who is not ready to use the toilet is wearing underwear. Yes, there will be accidents, these are too be expected, but a continuous stream of bodily fluids due to a lack of readiness is not.
To the OP and to the parents she posted about - you have done great job caring for and planning for the little girl.

[Michelle]

what a cool mom!
your response was fine!!!

[Christian Mother]

OP- I absolutely love that your little ones parents are sooo willing to work with you on potty training and has started the process at home. Sounds like you have wonderful parents!!

Your response was really good as well and I think it wasn't at all rude. You worded it well as well as listed your concerns with early potty training. I don't think she is to young to train however, I agree that the child should be able to voice when they need to go potty and then that tells me they are ready.

Here I have the parents start the potty training on the weekends and then I full take over. I think it is diff. for the parents not to be involved as the children spend a great deal of time here in my home and for me it's been really easy to get a child potty trained...but at home the parents get frustrated and feel let down if their not experiencing the same success I am. That is why I feel it is best that the parents start the process and finish it. They need to set them selves up for success first as I know I always have success at my home. It's also best to have a plan of action that you can communicate with the parents on how you potty train. Have it outlined and have a the parents sign off on it. Here I don't have them official sign anything although I've seen providers do that. I just tell my parents what to expect and I'm very direct about it. I have a small daycare and almost all my kids are potty trained and have seen the process done with the other kids so they feel very comfortable and know that there child will have the same success as the rest of the kids. I have one little one to train and as soon as the parents pick up on the signs that their child is ready will start the process and then I will pick up where they are training and get them nearly there as far as trained...but the parents get to complete the process so they know they've been successful.

Your doing a wonderful job keep it up!!

[littlemommy]

Sounds like you have a good set of parents to be working with! I have an almost 3 year old whose mom just started working with at home. She says that she does great at home, but mom has to ask her every so often and then puts her on the toilet until she goes.

That's a hard technique to do when I'm caring for other kids. When I ask the girl if she needs to go she does not communicate with me. She just gives me a blank stare. I'm not quite sure what to do. The mom just laughs when I tell her that, and doesn't try to give me any pointers.

This is the first kid I've had to help potty train, so I'm new at this!

Originally Posted by BigMama

You are right that it is the parent's decision - they can decide to try to potty train at any time. However, there are readiness factors that one should look for regardless of the child's age. These include indicating that her diaper is wet or soiled, showing an interest in the potty, staying dry for longer periods, being able to sit unassisted, and being able to follow simple directions. While some children will learn before age two, many are physically not able to. The muscles that are used to control "holding" and "releasing" are not developed yet. I don't think the OP was just dismissing the parent's request because she felt she was arbitrarily "too young" - I think she was genuinely thinking about whether or not the little girl is ready. Also, when a child is on a group child care setting, the provider must consider and balance the individual child's needs against the needs of the group. It is very difficult to clean up BM and urine several times a day because a child who is not ready to use the toilet is wearing underwear. Yes, there will be accidents, these are too be expected, but a continuous stream of bodily fluids due to a lack of readiness is not.
To the OP and to the parents she posted about - you have done great job caring for and planning for the little girl.

She was pointing out more the childs age then talking about readiness signs. I know all to well the signs I have trained my own 3 and 4 daycare children. The parent had said the child has USED the potty she is READY none of the kids I trained asked right away either but after taking them every hour for a week or 2 they get it and start asking I also only do undies when training and just clean up the mess pull ups hold a child back from training they are JUST like diapers.

[nannyde]

Originally Posted by Unregistered

She was pointing out more the childs age then talking about readiness signs. I know all to well the signs I have trained my own 3 and 4 daycare children. The parent had said the child has USED the potty she is READY none of the kids I trained asked right away either but after taking them every hour for a week or 2 they get it and start asking I also only do undies when training and just clean up the mess pull ups hold a child back from training they are JUST like diapers.

I do pretty much the opposite of this.

[Lucy]

She has done pretty well today. That is to say, she has peed every time I have sat her on the toilet. She has yet to request to go. 9 out of 10 times her answer was "no" when I asked if she needed to. I took her some of those times anyway and she peed. It is cute though ... as she tinkles, she gets the proudest, hugest grin on her face, and claps and says yay (name)!!! She's not even 2 yet, so I have no expectations that this will go well, but there is also every chance that it could. Each kid is different. I just won't do the underwear only thing. Can't take the accident cleaning.

I will report all this to the mom in a happy and positive way, but I will still tell her that I don't think she is "training" until she is learning to listen to her body's urge to go, and THEN asking to go.

[daycare]

Originally Posted by Joyce

She has done pretty well today. That is to say, she has peed every time I have sat her on the toilet. She has yet to request to go. 9 out of 10 times her answer was "no" when I asked if she needed to. I took her some of those times anyway and she peed. It is cute though ... as she tinkles, she gets the proudest, hugest grin on her face, and claps and says yay (name)!!! She's not even 2 yet, so I have no expectations that this will go well, but there is also every chance that it could. Each kid is different. I just won't do the underwear only thing. Can't take the accident cleaning.

I will report all this to the mom in a happy and positive way, but I will still tell her that I don't think she is "training" until she is learning to listen to her body's urge to go, and THEN asking to go.

The youngest I ever PT was 20 months. BUT this child was extremely advanced verbally, emotionally, physically and was just all around a one of a kind child.

The rest of mine were 3 or 3.5

[Texasjeepgirl]

My own daughter was 21.. maybe 22 months old... I had NO PLAN to start training her...but my sister-in-law sent the potty chair home with me.. she didn't need it anymore... so.. I put it in the bathroom.. next thing I knew... My daughter was training herself....she's now 22 years old..

In 19 years of daycare.. I did have one little boy.. 19 months old..his mom told me he could go to the potty...and I thought she had lost her ever loving mind...until I saw the kid... he would tell me when he needed to go...and.. he did it HIMSELF...

The absolute smartest little girl I've ever had in my daycare... I mean BRILLIANT.. ..didn't even THINK about trying to potty train till she was 3.. years...

Currently I have 3 little boys... all of them are UNDER 3... AND all of them are fully...100% potty trained...
The oldest will be 3 at the end of January...but...he has been fully potty trained for several months...since 2 1/2.
The other 2 were both 2 years old in June.. so these boys are not even at the halfway mark yet... and they are both wearing underwear... and 100% potty trained...
I didn't do anything special.. nothing.. they were just all ready.. and DID IT....


www.tammyschildcare.com

www.texasjeepgirl.shutterfly.com

[Lucy]

At pickup yesterday, I told the mom how the girl did today. I said she tinkled whenever she sat on the toilet, but she never told me she needed to go, and she did get her pullup wet. We used 3 pullups during the day. It just seems silly to me. Pullups are more expensive aren't they? Anyway, the mom said she appreciated my help. This girl is close to being ready, but I think we're about 3 months early. But I will keep trying.

I do need to get a full write up of potty training policies for the future. Can you gals share what you have in your handbooks?

[MarinaVanessa]

This is what I have in mine.

Toilet Training
Assistance with toilet training will be provided with the understanding that it is exactly that, assistance. The child care provider will assist with toilet training while the major part of toilet training is done at home.

Toilet training must first begin at home when the child shows signs of readiness. After toilet training has been introduced at home and once the child shows signs of interest and can notify the child care provider that he/she must use the toilet then training will begin here as well.

Toilet training at daycare will begin in regular or training diapers and will continue to be used until the child can use the toilet successfully and unassisted. When the child can accomplish this for two-weeks without an accident the child is ready to use children's underwear at daycare. If the child has an accident in underwear the child will go back to training diapers until another two weeks have gone by without an accident. If another accident occurs the two week period will start over. Once the child can successfully use the toilet unassisted for two weeks, potty training can be considered successful.

[Christian Mother]

Originally Posted by Joyce

I do need to get a full write up of potty training policies for the future. Can you gals share what you have in your handbooks?

Here is what I have in my PHB:

Potty Training

When a parent feels a child is ready and a child shows readiness I will then assist parents in the toilet training of their child. I ask that potty training be first initiated at home. It is very important that parents are taking an active participation in their child’s training and success. Parents will need to bring extra clothing and the type of toileting products they prefer such as Pull-Ups or training pants. If there were a lot of accidents while wearing training pants it would be helpful to provide plastic pants to go over training pants. I will not force children to sit on the potty and will use only positive encouragement in order to promote using the potty. Send your child ONLY in easy on/easy off clothing until they are able to completely undress and dress by themselves.

[Lucy]

Originally Posted by Christian Mother

Here is what I have in my PHB:

Potty Training

When a parent feels a child is ready and a child shows readiness I will then assist parents in the toilet training of their child. I ask that potty training be first initiated at home. It is very important that parents are taking an active participation in their child’s training and success. Parents will need to bring extra clothing and the type of toileting products they prefer such as Pull-Ups or training pants. If there were a lot of accidents while wearing training pants it would be helpful to provide plastic pants to go over training pants. I will not force children to sit on the potty and will use only positive encouragement in order to promote using the potty. Send your child ONLY in easy on/easy off clothing until they are able to completely undress and dress by themselves.

That sounds great. Sorry -- I just saw it today. Thanks for sharing. Anyone else want to share what they have?

[mac60]

I have a boy that was 3 in July, he still isn't potty trained. He won't tell me he has to go pee ever. They also send him in blue jeans with snap and zipper that he can not do on his own, he won't even try. I know the mom is getting frustrated about the whole thing, but, I suggested to her easy on/off pants, and that didn't change, and I told her he will not tell me. He is a big kid, and I basically have to lift him on/off, because he is stubborn as hell. He could care less that he pees. He comes in the morning with a pull up but all I have here is diapers, that in it's self is a pain in the butt trying to potty trian using diapers, he can't get his pants unsnapped let alone remove a diaper too.

[Crystal]

If I don't think the child is ready (and I am REALLY good at knowing when they are) I simply tell the parent " we can start today and he'll be trained in 6 months, or we can wait til' he's really READY and he'll be trained in a day."

and, when my kids are ready, they ARE trained in a day.

Crystal - care to tell us HOW you know the moment they're ready, and HOW they become trained in a day? I NEED this info! Thanks!

[SimpleMom]

Originally Posted by Blackcat31

I think your response was great. It clearly stated your take on the situation, showed support for what they are doing and opened up the door for further conversation.

I used to do ALL the work before also. I listened to and followed whatever method the parent chose but after so many years in this business I realized it is ALOT of work on my part and very little on the parents.

I now request that parents start and complete the process at home before the child can wear undies only at daycare. Don't get me wrong, I fully support the parents but am no longer so actively involved.

I agree! This is exactly what I do as well.

[Mommy2One]

This may be side tracking the thread, and for that I apologize, but you ladies seem to have so much experience and confidence I would love it if you would share some of your potty training secrets.

I'm a first time mother with no prior caregiving experience with children and I'm the type that loves an orderly step by step plan to get things done. None of you seemed to agree with the 20 minute on the potty rule but when I Google potty training methods that's the one that comes up the most (with various intervals). So what do you do? Also, how do you know whether the child is READY-ready versus just showing signs of readiness?

Our daughter is 28 months old and showing some signs of interest/readiness (like 7 out of 10 on most lists) but despite letting us know when she needs a clean diaper, she's not reliably saying that she needs to go ahead of time and she seems to enjoy sitting/playing on the potty chair rather than do-your-business-and-get-up. She's with my husband and me on the weekends, my mom watches her 2 days/week (during the day) and we have a babysitting come to our house 3 days/week (during the day) so I know when she's ready, we will have to lead/drive the effort and make sure there's a uniform method being used by all the caregivers.

[Lucy]

I'm the OP of this thread. I was looking for a particular post of mine in regards to a question someone asked, and came across this one and re-read it. Wow, I didn't realize it had been 8 months ago that this all started. (The potty training for this girl).

She's now 2 yrs 7 months. She wears "big-girl panties", but with plastic pants over them at this point. She had been in pull-ups, while still going on the potty, and the pull-ups were staying dry 95% of the time, so I switched to the panties with plastic panties over them about 2 weeks ago, and she hasn't had an accident in them at all. She is doing really well. She tells me EVERY time she has to go. I told the Mom just this week, that if the little girl goes two more full weeks without accidents, I will ditch the plastic pants. She actually has not had an accident for a couple weeks now, but I want to give her 2 more weeks just to make SURE.

And the mom has not had one problem with the way I'm doing this. We would discuss progress, both at home and here, but she never disagrees or pushes for anything different. She's really great to work with.

[Francine]

Originally Posted by mac60

I have a boy that was 3 in July, he still isn't potty trained. He won't tell me he has to go pee ever. They also send him in blue jeans with snap and zipper that he can not do on his own, he won't even try. I know the mom is getting frustrated about the whole thing, but, I suggested to her easy on/off pants, and that didn't change, and I told her he will not tell me. He is a big kid, and I basically have to lift him on/off, because he is stubborn as hell. He could care less that he pees. He comes in the morning with a pull up but all I have here is diapers, that in it's self is a pain in the butt trying to potty trian using diapers, he can't get his pants unsnapped let alone remove a diaper too.

I have this kid at my house too! He just turned three in June, he just doesn't care if he is wet or poopy. If I smell something and ask him if he has poop in his pants he will laugh and say " yeeeeaaaaaaah". Everything is funny to him. Parents plan to send him to preschool in the fall, not sure how that is going to happen.

[Blackcat31]

Originally Posted by Lucy

I'm the OP of this thread. I was looking for a particular post of mine in regards to a question someone asked, and came across this one and re-read it. Wow, I didn't realize it had been 8 months ago that this all started. (The potty training for this girl).

She's now 2 yrs 7 months. She wears "big-girl panties", but with plastic pants over them at this point. She had been in pull-ups, while still going on the potty, and the pull-ups were staying dry 95% of the time, so I switched to the panties with plastic panties over them about 2 weeks ago, and she hasn't had an accident in them at all. She is doing really well. She tells me EVERY time she has to go. I told the Mom just this week, that if the little girl goes two more full weeks without accidents, I will ditch the plastic pants. She actually has not had an accident for a couple weeks now, but I want to give her 2 more weeks just to make SURE.

And the mom has not had one problem with the way I'm doing this. We would discuss progress, both at home and here, but she never disagrees or pushes for anything different. She's really great to work with.

That is fantastic!

I also think it is great that you and the mom were able to work together to get this little gal trained. It is always so nice to hear success stories like this!

[itlw8]

I never worry if the child learns to ask. except when out in public the goal is they go by themselves when they need to go.

Children used to be trained earlier. What is the difference. Disposable diapers and pull ups. Take he in to sit when the older kids go And instead of asking her if she needs to go just say it is time to go potty.

There is a window of oportunity before they are 2 when they want to please you. If a child is able to produce when sitting during that stage They are often in underware before 2 Miss that window and they are often much older. like closer to 3. The parents are motivated so that will help alot.

[momma2girls]

I implemented a potty training policy about 3 yrs. ago in my contract. it's great- I will not start with it here, til child fully understands the just of it. I have fully potty trained 5 of my own children, and many daycare children. They will not potty trained til they are ready. I will not totally potty train any child. It is up to the parents to start them and have them so they understand the just of it, before starting it here at daycare.

[Snapdragon]

Originally Posted by Crystal

If I don't think the child is ready (and I am REALLY good at knowing when they are) I simply tell the parent " we can start today and he'll be trained in 6 months, or we can wait til' he's really READY and he'll be trained in a day."

and, when my kids are ready, they ARE trained in a day.

Haven't potty trained kids, but I know my own two girls were not ready until they were three years old and then, as you say, Crystal, it was overnight.