I'm Pregnant!

Logged out for privacy until further along. My husband and I have been trying off and on to get pregnant and it happened after only six months. We just found out so I don't have an appt with a nurse or dr. until the end of July.

Problem is, we don't want to tell family yet and I can't close daycare everytime I have an appt. My husband is my ONLY emergency daycare person. I only have a small handful of children so I don't think hiring some help eventually would be difficult to trust someone with my great bunch of kids. My first appt. with a nurse my husband can stay with the kids. It will be in the morning which will take about 2 hours before I get there and back. He will have no help though so I really don't want to enroll any new kids because of the private situation. This appt. is mostly paperwork I was told so I can go alone.

Second appt. is actually two days later and I want my hubby to be with me so I'm thinking I will close daycare since it falls on a weekend and we are actually leaving town that weekend. How many dr. appts will I need and how far apart?

I'm going to spend some of this weekend researching and reading books I bought, but the stress level is high because we have so much on our plates right now then I get worked up if I don't know everything about anything so I'm go go go, but I fall asleep at 8 pm every night this week no problem so I never get any "me" time.

So the main question is how many appt are typical and how do you cover for them without letting families know why you're gone?

Also share any cool ideas for letting daycare parents, but also your own friends/family know you are expecting. We are going to a family re-union on my side of the family the day after my appt and I was thinking about showing up wearing one of those pregnancy shirts and just seeing how people react. I just hope it's not rude because my sister actually is putting together a big birthday party for her kids in our hometown where most people have not seen them yet so I don't really want to take the attention away but I only get home once a year it seems and never see all my family only immediate. What do you think to share the news?

[DCBlessings27]

As for appointments, at first the appointments are once a month. Closer to due date you start going every 2 weeks and then go weekly close to your due date--unless you have any complications.

I didn't tell my daycare parents about my pregnancy until I was 12 weeks. I'm on my second pregnancy, and I started showing early. I have my mother-in-law as my current substitute for my appts.

[pootmcgoot]

I went at 6 weeks to confirm then at 8, 18, 24 and then monthly. I'm army though so I got the shaft.

[godiva83]

It depends on your pregnancy if it's a typical pregnancy you go every month till I think 30 weeks than every 2 weeks till 36 weeks than once a week till delivery
Plus regular ultrasound, blood work, and lab tests.
If you have any issues or concerns along the way expect to be there often and sometimes the appointments are very long.

I think you can wear a shirt that announces your pregnant something like 'bun in the oven' when it comes to baby news I personally think anything goes - its such happy news how can anyone get upset, or think about their own 'thunder' I know I wouldn't care at all.

Good luck and congrats

[AfterSchoolMom]

Congratulations!

I've been once a month starting at 8 weeks. My OB's office has an ultrasound lab right inside it, so I didn't have to do separate appointments for that, but if yours doesn't, then you'll have to factor that in. I also had separate appts for routine lab work in the beginning, for the glucose tolerance test (twice, because I had to do the 1 hour and 3 hour versions), and to get several vaccinations.

At 30'ish weeks you'll go every two weeks, then once per week.

[cheerfuldom]

I think you should hold off on telling until you are farther along....12 to 14 weeks. I hate to even say it but if you JUST got a positive, it might be better to wait until you have your appt (a lot of doctors will do an initial scan to make sure the pregnancy is viable) and that you have enough weeks along where miscarriage is not as big of a concern. I'm sorry if that part is upsetting but I know probably 10 couples (some daycare providers!) that told the instant they were pregnant and then regretted it because within a couple weeks, they had to retell everyone that they lost the baby. One of my friends was a teacher and told all her kids as soon as she found out and all the kids of course were so upset when they heard the baby was gone already. Talk about awkward because now she has to have this tough discussion with the kids and the parents, when she is having a hard time as well.

So, with that in mind, I would wait. I also wouldnt tell at another relatives planned event. People get upset about stuff like that. Then I would tell my family when I was farther a long. THEN the daycare parents, only when I had too. I have been thru three pregnancies and find that it is best to wait to tell daycare parents and at least wait long enough to where you have a plan for appts. and for maternity leave. No matter how great your current families are, if you tell about the pregnancy but dont have a clear plan about appts and stuff, parents get scared that you are not going to be able to do your job. Even if you have everything in order, sometimes parents hear that the provider is expecting and they immediately panic and look for other care, or consider looking. I wouldnt stop interviewing, you dont have to tell prospective parents yet. I am 19 weeks along right now with my 4th child and currently interviewing. Most people do not have an issue at all with it because I have a clear plan in place for appts. and a short maternity leave and all my ducks in a row so the parents dont have to worry. I had one child start two weeks before my 2nd baby was born, then I went on maternity leave and then the family came back with everyone else when my daycare re-opened, no issues.

The first appt is fun, especially when you get that first scan. But to be honest, every other appt. is basically the same thing and your DH wont be missing anything if he stays home to watch the kids. They weigh you, measure you, take your blood pressure....nothing too thrilling. My DH goes to the initial one and then to the gender ultrasound at about 20 weeks. They do appts. every 4 weeks until you get far enough along....some doctors dont do every 2 weeks until well past 30 weeks along. The last 2 to 4 weeks of the pregnancy, you will go ever week and they will start checking your cervix so you will know if you are getting close to having the baby.

**If you do tell at the family event, I would wait till the end so you are not taking all this attention away from the event as planned. Then I would explain and apologize to sister and smooth things over if necessary. I am sure she will understand that you wanted to tell people in person.

So how do I cover for my appointments every month if my dh wants to be with me everytime? I'm totally okay with him being with me everytime because I'm a little scared since this is our first child and all week (so far) I have been an emotional rollarcoaster.

I want to tell all my family I think in July when we go back home. DH wants to wait longer for his family which is all in town. I just don't know how I am going to get someone in here to watch the kids on the days I have appointments without telling the daycare parents we have pregnancy appointments. They'll wonder why I'm leaving for appointments all the time WITH dh when he has watched the kids a few times.

This week I am switching my license type to expand so I'm hoping I can hire someone to work starting in August/September part time so I can be done working at 1 pm and go do my errands and cleaning/cooking so I don't have to work 55 hours M-F then do all that stuff. I have no energy this week but hope it gets better. I'm over the initial "shock" of knowing I'm pregnant but now I have many worries.

I mainly don't want to enroll more kids because it'll be stressful for me. I have been throwing up last week and I don't like the idea of being alone with kids/babies and being sick. One of my current dcm is also expecting so he baby will only be 4 months older than mine. I wasn't going to take any more babies once the one I have now grows up because they're so much more work but now it looks like I'll have another and mine so I'm going to be busy.

[Crazy8]

I've gone thru 2 pregnancies without closing my daycare for dr. appointments. I had a ob/gyn who does evening appointments and wouldn't have chosen one who didn't. Even my "big" 20 wk u/s I just closed a little early because I couldn't get a night appt for that.
Appointments are once a month in the beginning, then every 2 weeks the last few weeks of pregnancy.
I worked up until delivery with each of them and then took 2 weeks off before having kids come back. Never needed any help, even though I had someone lined up to help if I needed it.

As for telling, I know you are excited but I would agree with waiting till at least the 12 week mark.

[cheerfuldom]

I guess my point in detailing the appts. is that your DH doesnt NEED to go to them and really isnt missing anything. I know thats not very fun sounding when you are expecting your first. But I personally would rather my husband miss appts. in order to not tell the daycare parents yet, than to tell them all so soon and start closing randomly for appts. I know it is complicated sometimes to be pregnant and working daycare but the priority right now is to maintain your professionalism. If you are closing multiple times a month so your husband can come to appts. with you, parents may start losing confidence in your ability to juggle new motherhood with daycare. I understand that your husband would probably like to be there (at least I am assuming he would) but it may have to be sacrificed until you can get someone in to help. Is there anyone you feel comfortable in keeping your secret and covering for your appts. so both of you can go without telling daycare parents yet?

Originally Posted by Unregistered

Logged out for privacy until further along. My husband and I have been trying off and on to get pregnant and it happened after only six months. We just found out so I don't have an appt with a nurse or dr. until the end of July.

Problem is, we don't want to tell family yet and I can't close daycare everytime I have an appt. My husband is my ONLY emergency daycare person. I only have a small handful of children so I don't think hiring some help eventually would be difficult to trust someone with my great bunch of kids. My first appt. with a nurse my husband can stay with the kids. It will be in the morning which will take about 2 hours before I get there and back. He will have no help though so I really don't want to enroll any new kids because of the private situation. This appt. is mostly paperwork I was told so I can go alone.

Second appt. is actually two days later and I want my hubby to be with me so I'm thinking I will close daycare since it falls on a weekend and we are actually leaving town that weekend. How many dr. appts will I need and how far apart?

I'm going to spend some of this weekend researching and reading books I bought, but the stress level is high because we have so much on our plates right now then I get worked up if I don't know everything about anything so I'm go go go, but I fall asleep at 8 pm every night this week no problem so I never get any "me" time.

So the main question is how many appt are typical and how do you cover for them without letting families know why you're gone?

Also share any cool ideas for letting daycare parents, but also your own friends/family know you are expecting. We are going to a family re-union on my side of the family the day after my appt and I was thinking about showing up wearing one of those pregnancy shirts and just seeing how people react. I just hope it's not rude because my sister actually is putting together a big birthday party for her kids in our hometown where most people have not seen them yet so I don't really want to take the attention away but I only get home once a year it seems and never see all my family only immediate. What do you think to share the news?

I just had a baby 4 months ago here is when I went to my appointments also lab was in OB office so I didnt have to go somewhere else for blood work also my OB doesnt even start to see pregnant woman til 10-12 weeks along.

11 weeks
15 weeks
19 weeks plus sonogram appointment
23 weeks
27 weeks plus gestional diabetes test which takes 1 hour
31 weeks
35 weeks
36 weeks
37 weeks
38 weeks my baby was born before 39 week appointment

I was only watching 1 child at the time so I either had my neighbor watch him and my little girl or took him with me.

[DCBlessings27]

Originally Posted by Unregistered

So how do I cover for my appointments every month if my dh wants to be with me everytime?

I have to agree with Cheerfuldom. I wanted my husband to be at every appt. with our first child. It was actually very uncomfortable for my husband to be there, especially at the end when the doctor was checking for dilation. (My ob is a man, so it was awkward for dh.) Also, the appts after the first are very boring. For this pregnancy, dh has only gone to the first appt for the ultrasound, will attend the gender ultrasound, and likely won't go to any other ones after that.

Now, I have heard that the glucose/diabetes appt. where you drink that lovely orange stuff is now a 3 hour test instead of being shorter like with my first pregnancy. I'll likely close to due to that appt. One of my dcms didn't go back to work after hers because they took so much blood, and she just felt awful after that one.

[Meeko]

It's quite frankly none of your day care parents business WHY you are closing your day care for the day.

They just need to know you ARE closing for the day. Don't feel you have to give them an explanation. Let them wonder all they want.

I don't think professionalism is number, my family is number one always. I will not close daycare every appointment. I think that is asking for trouble. I think I need to interview people as fill-ins and get someone to work with me in the fall/winter before I'm due.

I'm 6 weeks now and have an ob and nurse appointment at the end of the month. The nurse appt my husband can be here with the kids but then I want to close for my first appointment. I think whether it is a male/female ob/gyn both of us are going to be uncomfortable. I didn't get married to have kids and go it alone so I think looking for a fill-in is my only option for my August/September appointments before I tell daycare parents.

I'm just sad that my baby isn't going to be the only baby at daycare because another baby starts here in the winter too so I will have a two month old then soon have my baby. Doesn't sound like fun at all. Maybe I can afford to hire someone for half days so I can be done working at noon after my baby is born? With another infant enrolled that will help cover expenses.

[cheerfuldom]

Originally Posted by Unregistered

I don't think professionalism is number, my family is number one always. I will not close daycare every appointment. I think that is asking for trouble. I think I need to interview people as fill-ins and get someone to work with me in the fall/winter before I'm due.

I'm 6 weeks now and have an ob and nurse appointment at the end of the month. The nurse appt my husband can be here with the kids but then I want to close for my first appointment. I think whether it is a male/female ob/gyn both of us are going to be uncomfortable. I didn't get married to have kids and go it alone so I think looking for a fill-in is my only option for my August/September appointments before I tell daycare parents.

I'm just sad that my baby isn't going to be the only baby at daycare because another baby starts here in the winter too so I will have a two month old then soon have my baby. Doesn't sound like fun at all. Maybe I can afford to hire someone for half days so I can be done working at noon after my baby is born? With another infant enrolled that will help cover expenses.

I didnt mean to imply that the daycare is more important than your family, of course it is not. But since you have to keep daycare going, it is important to see things from the parents point of view. With that said, I HIGHLY recommend figuring out a way to NOT have other infants in care when your baby is born. It WILL be taking away time/energy/attention from your own child and depending on the personalities of the kids, may be too much for you to handle period. I'd rather take less kids around the time that my child was born, especially a first child, than take on more kids and a new employee. I'd hate for you to stretch yourself too thin and spend those precious first months with your newborn working and worrying about other things instead of focusing all you can on the baby. It goes by in the blink of an eye and I would hate for you to have regrets about missing some of that time with your newborn. I will of course support whatever decision you think is best....this is all just my opinions from my experience being a mom of four while also doing daycare the whole time!

Originally Posted by cheerfuldom

I didnt mean to imply that the daycare is more important than your family, of course it is not. But since you have to keep daycare going, it is important to see things from the parents point of view. With that said, I HIGHLY recommend figuring out a way to NOT have other infants in care when your baby is born. It WILL be taking away time/energy/attention from your own child and depending on the personalities of the kids, may be too much for you to handle period. I'd rather take less kids around the time that my child was born, especially a first child, than take on more kids and a new employee. I'd hate for you to stretch yourself too thin and spend those precious first months with your newborn working and worrying about other things instead of focusing all you can on the baby. It goes by in the blink of an eye and I would hate for you to have regrets about missing some of that time with your newborn. I will of course support whatever decision you think is best....this is all just my opinions from my experience being a mom of four while also doing daycare the whole time!

Thank you. I'm emotional ALL WEEK! I really didn't want anymore babies but I have a bunch of young ones and most adults want kids just a few years apart or less so I just hope the other parents are not pregnant or I will have to say no or hire someone full time right away. The mom who is expecting will have her child and will be about 4 months old when I'm due. I'm nervous to tell them and want to wait at least another month or more. I will be "at ratio" after my baby starts so I don't want any new children until next spring......is that crazy to miss out on that extra income? I just hope finding someone to work afternoons M-F will be simple. I've never hired anyone but will be so much more comfortable if I have someone to rely on. UGHHHHH Stress and I'm only 6 weeks!