Just EWWW! Neglect?

[daycarediva]

Last night I said to my dcm that 2yo dcb's hair seems to be gunky (very dandruffy, way worse than the worst cradle cap I have EVER seen) and he was itching it constantly and saying "itchy". She said VERY nonchalantly that 3 months ago he slipped in the tub and it scared him...and he hasn't had a bath since! He cried when she puts him in the tub the next time, and she doesn't think that the bath is worth putting him through that. She gives him a sponge bath with a damp washcloth and uses dry shampoo on his hair (hence the GUNK!) I was seriously speechless. I stuttered some ideas about moving a small wading pool into the bathtub because he likes to swim, etc. Toys ONLY for bathtime, etc. She pretty much blew it off. Is this neglect? He is super stinky most of the time, def not my cleanest kid and I thought it was just how they were but this is ridiculous. As a parent your job isn't supposed to be your kids buddy, you HAVE to do things that they don't like! This is also the 2yo that I have all of the behavioral issues with, which leads me to think that Mom isn't working on the consistency at home as she claims to be doing.

Today, he had a total diaper explosion (I have a drs note that due to food sensitivities that they are working on determining that this is normal for him) so I went to clean dcb up. It was up his shirt and got into his hair (longish) so I plopped him in the tub. He cried for 30 seconds and then sat there looking at me very grumpily. Atleast he had a bath today, but I can't justify doing that everyday!

[Kaddidle Care]

No bath in 3 months! That is so disgusting that I wouldn't let him in my house until the Mother does her duty and cares for her child.

He's already ruling the roost at 2. Life is not going to be easy with him.

[DaisyMamma]

That is really not ok. I can't even believe it. I'm afraid it is neglect. I have no idea how to approach that. Mom probably has no idea she is being neglectful. She thinks she is doing what is best for her child. Unfortunately now that you know you need to address / call cps.
I'm so sorry you have to deal with this.

[Meyou]

My dd was horribly afraid of the tub when she was little. So I bathed her every night in the kitchen sink. She was clean as a whistle. There is no excuse for no bath in 3 months especially in the summer when you can get out a pool and give him some soap to play with.

[DaisyMamma]

Originally Posted by Meyou

My dd was horribly afraid of the tub when she was little. So I bathed her every night in the kitchen sink. She was clean as a whistle. There is no excuse for no bath in 3 months especially in the summer when you can get out a pool and give him some soap to play with.

Really good idea. So is the kitchen sink.
I have a family who I think only bathed on the weekend. I don't like that at all. Usually around Wednesday I make sure DCB goes home extra dirty so they have to bathe him.

[Heidi]

Originally Posted by DaisyMamma

Really good idea. So is the kitchen sink.
I have a family who I think only bathed on the weekend. I don't like that at all. Usually around Wednesday I make sure DCB goes home extra dirty so they have to bathe him.

Really, the once-a-week-bath used to be much more common. My grandparents had a weekly "bath day".

[Cozy_Kids_Childcare]

My 18 month old will not sit down in the tub, but I don't care if she screams the entire 5 minutes she is in there. She gets a bath every night! There is no reason to allow yourself or your child to be dirty. Shoot if he is that scared then she should sit on the side of the tub with her feet in the water and have him stand between her knees so he has something to hold onto and give him a bath that way... YUCK...

[countrymom]

ha, I have a funny for you. So my kids have swimming lessons 2 times a week (and family swim inbetween because they love water) so I said to ydd (she's 8) that she needs to have a bath to wash her hair. She says "why mom, I had a bath in the pool" and then goes and tells her brother that he doesn't need a bath anymore (he's 10) because he has a bath in the pool and the "choreeen" kills the germs. At least they change their underware.

[makap]

There is no excuse for this! Poor baby! Lazy mommy!

When my son was just under 2 he went through a period of time where I could no longer wash his hair in the tub. He did not like getting water in his face and would FREAK! I just laid him on the counter top on his back with his head resting on a towel over the kitchen sink and washed his hair while he looked at a book.

There ARE ways to get things done for your child that NEED to be done!

[SilverSabre25]

Neglect...eh, I dunno, but it is certainly a bit odd. I would say something to her about needing to desensitize kids to their fears or they become magnified immensely. Tell her your experience with the bath tub and suggest putting him in a kid pool with some bubbles, or letting him play in the kitchen sink, or even letting him play in the DRY bathtub. Get him used to the idea. Get some EXCITING NEW TOYS!!!!!!!! and let him play with them in the (dry) tub then gradually let him play in an inch of water, two inches, six inches. Get him a doll and let him give IT a bath.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

Originally Posted by SilverSabre25

Neglect...eh, I dunno, but it is certainly a bit odd. I would say something to her about needing to desensitize kids to their fears or they become magnified immensely. Tell her your experience with the bath tub and suggest putting him in a kid pool with some bubbles, or letting him play in the kitchen sink, or even letting him play in the DRY bathtub. Get him used to the idea. Get some EXCITING NEW TOYS!!!!!!!! and let him play with them in the (dry) tub then gradually let him play in an inch of water, two inches, six inches. Get him a doll and let him give IT a bath.

I agree.

[Lilbutterflie]

I am so tired of the parental excuse- "He didn't want to, so we didn't do it." BE A PARENT!!!!!

You might suggest some fun bath activities- Here are two -

1- Muffin tin- fill with shave cream. Add a couple drops of tempera paint or food coloring (I recommend the tempera paint- we tried food coloring and it stained our grout!). Mix well. Add paintbrush. The whole bathtub becomes a canvas!

2- Glow sticks in the bathtub. AMAZING and so much fun!

[daycarediva]

Well, I told her that I gave him a bath, and how he reacted. She was shocked. I will give her (and steal for myself!) those suggestions and just keep helping her do what she needs to do. He very much does 'rule' around there. Mom works two jobs and Dad works long hours and I honestly think that they are well intentioned parents, that just don't want to spend what time they do spend with their son miserably, kwim? He is very much well cared for in every other area, and his behavior HAS improved.

[littlemisssunshine]

Oh wow we must have similar parents!!! I have a mom of 3 who brings her 4 year old with hair gunk in her hair then when I brush her hair she comes the next day with the exact clothes and the same way I did her hair ALL week!!! I like these kids but it does affect them because I don't wanna hug or kiss thence cause their so dirty. The baby girl and toddler boy come in with black hands and faces the boy smells like pee and the baby girl like rotten milk