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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Worst nightmare
lilbiddapopcorn 11:53 AM 10-31-2008
Hello all,
I'm writing to remind you all that as much as we love the children that come to our daycare, it pays to be careful. Have an assistant. Have cameras. Have anything that will absolve you of false allegations.
I recently added 3 sisters to my small group of children at my daycare. I was sooo happy because the three siblings they'd replaced had had very bad behavioral issues and were so hard to deal with. These 3 girls, ages 15 months, 4 years and 5 years, were the sweetest little girls you'd ever meet. They listened well, they had so much fun, they always cleaned up after themselves, they were exactly the kinds of children I thought I wanted here. The kind I thought I was lucky to have in my daycare.
Every day these girls came here, they would cry to their mom that they didn't want to go home. The 15 month old girl who didn't talk much, wouldn't even let her mom take her from me. If I was holding her and her mom reached out for her, she'd shy away and hold me tighter. She'd only go to her mom if I put her down. I thought these girls were going to be here for years.
Last night the police showed up at my house to tell me the oldest girl said I touched her sexually. I don't know why. I don't know what happened that made her say that. I have no idea what is going to happen to my license or my career or my marriage or my children who are concerned that their mom is being accused of something they know isn't true. I have 4 children of my own who were all here when this girl says this happened. Only one of the three sisters is alleging this, although the other two sisters who were also here at the time are not. I put so much time and so much money into my daycare. I loved doing it. In one night, a 5 year old girl completely took that away. Even if this all goes away, I never want to experience anything like this again. I will never be in the daycare business again or even be working anywhere near children who aren't my own ever again. This seems like a nightmare I can't wake up from.
All I can say is I don't know why she's saying this, but it's just not true. We live in a small town, and even if she does admit she made this up, even if this does all go away, people won't forget this. So at best, my family will be forced to leave the town my children love. At worst, i'll be prosecuted for a crime I would never even think of committing.
So remember to be careful. Apparently even the sweetest children can surprise you in ways you wouldn't think possible.
I'm writing to remind you all that as much as we love the children that come to our daycare, it pays to be careful. Have an assistant. Have cameras. Have anything that will absolve you of false allegations.
I recently added 3 sisters to my small group of children at my daycare. I was sooo happy because the three siblings they'd replaced had had very bad behavioral issues and were so hard to deal with. These 3 girls, ages 15 months, 4 years and 5 years, were the sweetest little girls you'd ever meet. They listened well, they had so much fun, they always cleaned up after themselves, they were exactly the kinds of children I thought I wanted here. The kind I thought I was lucky to have in my daycare.
Every day these girls came here, they would cry to their mom that they didn't want to go home. The 15 month old girl who didn't talk much, wouldn't even let her mom take her from me. If I was holding her and her mom reached out for her, she'd shy away and hold me tighter. She'd only go to her mom if I put her down. I thought these girls were going to be here for years.
Last night the police showed up at my house to tell me the oldest girl said I touched her sexually. I don't know why. I don't know what happened that made her say that. I have no idea what is going to happen to my license or my career or my marriage or my children who are concerned that their mom is being accused of something they know isn't true. I have 4 children of my own who were all here when this girl says this happened. Only one of the three sisters is alleging this, although the other two sisters who were also here at the time are not. I put so much time and so much money into my daycare. I loved doing it. In one night, a 5 year old girl completely took that away. Even if this all goes away, I never want to experience anything like this again. I will never be in the daycare business again or even be working anywhere near children who aren't my own ever again. This seems like a nightmare I can't wake up from.
All I can say is I don't know why she's saying this, but it's just not true. We live in a small town, and even if she does admit she made this up, even if this does all go away, people won't forget this. So at best, my family will be forced to leave the town my children love. At worst, i'll be prosecuted for a crime I would never even think of committing.
So remember to be careful. Apparently even the sweetest children can surprise you in ways you wouldn't think possible.
uno 06:00 PM 10-31-2008
I am so sorry this is happening to you. My prayers are with you and your family.
TTOTS 02:42 PM 11-06-2008
How horrible that is. My heart goes out to you and your family. Good luck with everything.
lilbiddapopcorn 03:54 PM 11-16-2008
Thank you both. I still can't believe this happened to us. And I still don't know why. I recently read an article in a magazine about why kids lie, and it had a story of a little girl who saw her mom with a bra and just out of nowhere piped up said "daddy puts on your bras when you're not here." And completely freaked her mom out. Of course, it turned out it wasn't true but the little girl stuck to her story. Kids know more today than they did 50 years ago, and they know more than they should really. I hope this all ends soon. I haven't heard anything new about it from licensing or from CPS or from any investigators, so I don't know if she admitted she lied or if they're just taking a really long time getting here to talk to us.
momof3 08:50 AM 12-01-2008
I hope everything works out for you. When more investigating is done, they will probably find out that this may have happened to her through someone else, but the girl doesn't know how to express it. The girl may also be saying things because she is mad and doesn't want her mom to work. Kids can be very manipulative and knows that this may cause her mom to stay home. There is so much on tv now, that she may have seen a similar story. how long have you been doing daycare? Just keep your head up, and if anyone in town questions you, give them the facts, don't elaborate. People will always find a way to put their own spin on a rumor, so less said the better. The truth will come out, but untill then, don't let it tear you apart.
leadhead15717 11:06 PM 12-06-2008
I hope that this turns out ok for you.
We have a large day care center and went through this once and was judged unfounded after a long investigation.
We said never again, we installed a 16 camera CCTV system with a DVR recorder and believe me it had paid for itself 10 times over.
In this day and age of sue happy parents, people that turn you in for nothing because you demanded they pay their bill, Sometimes less than stellar employees, it is almost a no brainer to have cameras that will show that incidents did or did not happen.
My advice to any day care provider large or small is do it and do it now because a movie/Picture is worth a thousand words!
We have a large day care center and went through this once and was judged unfounded after a long investigation.
We said never again, we installed a 16 camera CCTV system with a DVR recorder and believe me it had paid for itself 10 times over.
In this day and age of sue happy parents, people that turn you in for nothing because you demanded they pay their bill, Sometimes less than stellar employees, it is almost a no brainer to have cameras that will show that incidents did or did not happen.
My advice to any day care provider large or small is do it and do it now because a movie/Picture is worth a thousand words!