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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>It's Official, I Have Now Seen Everything
Bookworm 11:08 AM 10-13-2014
In my center, we have a group of about 6 parents that we call "Klingons" because they just can't let their child at drop off especially if their child wants to go play. They spend at least 10 min trying to get their child to say bye a billion times or just one more hug.

Well, one of the Klingons did drop off and started her act. DCK was ignoring her so shwent to the center DCK was playing in. After 5 attempts to make her child cry and several attempts by us to get mom to leave, mom walked over to DCK and told her that if she didn't tell Mommy bye mommy was going to cry until she told her bye. So do you know what Mommy did, she made herself cry. It wasn't just a few tears. Oh no, it was full blown hysterics complete with hitching breaths. This freaked DCK out so she started crying along with 4 other kids who were just as scared.

Our jaws hit the floor. I'm glad another parent was in the room because no one would have believe us. It took the three of us (coworker and other parent) to calm the kids down. My coworker carried DCK to mom for a final kiss and walked mom to the door. I don't think I've ever been this p***** off with a parent. The other parent in the room was so mad she was shaking and many coworker had to go stand on the porch go calm down.

WHO DOES THIS TO THEIR OWN CHILD! What kind of parent are you if you think this was ok to do to your child? I'm getting mad all over again.
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EntropyControlSpecialist 11:13 AM 10-13-2014
Do you have the ability to tell a parent like this, "Sue, it is time for you to go NOW. Thank you." and basically shove her out the door? That is unacceptable.
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melilley 11:14 AM 10-13-2014
I like your term for parents who do this.

When I worked in a center, we had a set of twin boys that would cry at drop off and on. On the days they were fine dcm would stand at the door yelling bye to them until at least one would run up to them or cry then when mom left sometimes dad would come in right after and do the same thing! We also had another child who was shy and it took a while for him to warm up to us and when he finally did, dcd would do the same thing, stand at the door and say bye until dcb cried. I don't get it either.
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KSDC 11:15 AM 10-13-2014
I don't know how it works in a center, but I would not put up with this in my home. I would be meeting this parent at the door. The good bye would be made short and sweet. If she wants to do an extended crying good bye, she can do it before the child gets in the door.
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NeedaVaca 11:28 AM 10-13-2014
I seriously gasped when I read this! Will anything be said to her?? I realize you work in a center so things are handled differently but if this were to take place in my house she would get an earful...Those poor kids!
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EntropyControlSpecialist 11:31 AM 10-13-2014
I think I would have gently taken her by the arm, pointed to a chair, and said, "Here is the crying chair. When you are done throwing a tantrum you may get up."

In all reality, though, she does need to be told that if her child tells her no or has moved on their merry little way then she is TEACHING her child disrespect, and other parent's children, and the crap needs to stop.
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Leigh 11:35 AM 10-13-2014
Originally Posted by EntropyControlSpecialist:
Do you have the ability to tell a parent like this, "Sue, it is time for you to go NOW. Thank you." and basically shove her out the door? That is unacceptable.
Originally Posted by KSDC:
I don't know how it works in a center, but I would not put up with this in my home. I would be meeting this parent at the door. The good bye would be made short and sweet. If she wants to do an extended crying good bye, she can do it before the child gets in the door.


Do you have this recorded? If possible, I'd schedule a sit-down with Mom and have her watch the video. Let her see what she did to her child and the rest of the group. Tell her flat out "this is unacceptable and will not happen here again. From now on, one of us will meet you at the door for drop-off, and we need to keep goodbyes to 5 seconds or less". Suggest that she do her goodbyes in the car before coming in, and let her know that if it happens again, that she will need to take her child back home with her for that day.
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SignMeUp 12:14 PM 10-13-2014
I have a parent almost like this. Works herself in a frizzle when her toddler won't cry and cling to her. Holds an almost two-year-old like a three-month-old, cradling the head and telling me how toddler really prefers warmed bottles. (Bottles?! )
I have set limits on her daily. After close to a year of this, she has "just discovered" that if she sets toddler down, toddler runs happily to play. Go figure She must be a genius
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e.j. 12:55 PM 10-13-2014
Originally Posted by Leigh:
Do you have this recorded? If possible, I'd schedule a sit-down with Mom and have her watch the video. Let her see what she did to her child and the rest of the group. Tell her flat out "this is unacceptable and will not happen here again. From now on, one of us will meet you at the door for drop-off, and we need to keep goodbyes to 5 seconds or less". Suggest that she do her goodbyes in the car before coming in, and let her know that if it happens again, that she will need to take her child back home with her for that day.
Was thinking the same thing.
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e.j. 12:58 PM 10-13-2014
Originally Posted by SignMeUp:
I have a parent almost like this. Works herself in a frizzle when her toddler won't cry and cling to her. Holds an almost two-year-old like a three-month-old, cradling the head and telling me how toddler really prefers warmed bottles. (Bottles?! )
I have set limits on her daily. After close to a year of this, she has "just discovered" that if she sets toddler down, toddler runs happily to play. Go figure She must be a genius
Wow! That's crazy, too!
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Play Care 12:58 PM 10-13-2014
Originally Posted by EntropyControlSpecialist:
I think I would have gently taken her by the arm, pointed to a chair, and said, "Here is the crying chair. When you are done throwing a tantrum you may get up."

In all reality, though, she does need to be told that if her child tells her no or has moved on their merry little way then she is TEACHING her child disrespect, and other parent's children, and the crap needs to stop.
LMBO!!! I just died!!
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BumbleBee 01:16 PM 10-13-2014
Originally Posted by Leigh:


Do you have this recorded? If possible, I'd schedule a sit-down with Mom and have her watch the video. Let her see what she did to her child and the rest of the group. Tell her flat out "this is unacceptable and will not happen here again. From now on, one of us will meet you at the door for drop-off, and we need to keep goodbyes to 5 seconds or less". Suggest that she do her goodbyes in the car before coming in, and let her know that if it happens again, that she will need to take her child back home with her for that day.
This is the route I would go. Even if you don't have it recorded, I'd still schedule a meeting and tell her it's NOT ok and enough is enough.
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TwinKristi 01:34 PM 10-13-2014
Originally Posted by Leigh:


Do you have this recorded? If possible, I'd schedule a sit-down with Mom and have her watch the video. Let her see what she did to her child and the rest of the group. Tell her flat out "this is unacceptable and will not happen here again. From now on, one of us will meet you at the door for drop-off, and we need to keep goodbyes to 5 seconds or less". Suggest that she do her goodbyes in the car before coming in, and let her know that if it happens again, that she will need to take her child back home with her for that day.
I agree!! What she did borders emotional abuse.
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Leigh 01:45 PM 10-13-2014
Originally Posted by EntropyControlSpecialist:
I think I would have gently taken her by the arm, pointed to a chair, and said, "Here is the crying chair. When you are done throwing a tantrum you may get up."

In all reality, though, she does need to be told that if her child tells her no or has moved on their merry little way then she is TEACHING her child disrespect, and other parent's children, and the crap needs to stop.


I laughed out loud. I would LOVE to see a recording of this!
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Bookworm 01:47 PM 10-13-2014
We do have video so i told my Director to watch. She did get a call and they will be meeting tonight. My Director also called the other parent or thank her and apologize for this morning. We have done door dropoffs before for other parents but it's been a while. We've also had to ask parents to leave because they were a distraction. We only have to do for the Kingons. The few kids that cry at drop off, their parents get them settled in or hands them off to one'll us and leaves. The sad part is that DCK really looks forward to coming to DC and Mom is doing everything to sabotage this. Now I don't know if she did this at their former center, but seems to me that she is too comfortable using psychological abuse on her own child. And then to freely act like that in front of anybody? My mind is officially blown. BTW, feel free to steal "Klingons".
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BumbleBee 02:12 PM 10-13-2014
Originally Posted by Bookworm:
We do have video so i told my Director to watch. She did get a call and they will be meeting tonight. My Director also called the other parent or thank her and apologize for this morning. We have done door dropoffs before for other parents but it's been a while. We've also had to ask parents to leave because they were a distraction. We only have to do for the Kingons. The few kids that cry at drop off, their parents get them settled in or hands them off to one'll us and leaves. The sad part is that DCK really looks forward to coming to DC and Mom is doing everything to sabotage this. Now I don't know if she did this at their former center, but seems to me that she is too comfortable using psychological abuse on her own child. And then to freely act like that in front of anybody? My mind is officially blown. BTW, feel free to steal "Klingons".
Totally stealing Klingons!

Glad your director is taking the bull by the horns and not just blowing you off. Please keep us posted. This is better than a soap opera!
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Josiegirl 02:20 PM 10-13-2014
Unbelievable!! What kind of parent does this????? Please let us know the outcome?
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Sugar Magnolia 03:09 PM 10-13-2014
"Koy ve duka ga cot dout"

That is Klingon for "Kindly get the fudge out"
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KiddieCahoots 04:16 PM 10-13-2014
Originally Posted by Sugar Magnolia:
"Koy ve duka ga cot dout"

That is Klingon for "Kindly get the fudge out"
............
That's exactly how it sounds on Star Trek too!
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Bookworm 04:56 PM 10-13-2014
Originally Posted by Sugar Magnolia:
"Koy ve duka ga cot dout"

That is Klingon for "Kindly get the fudge out"
Sugar you just made me spit. I swear, ever since the new owner took over, it's been one crazy after another. I'll post update during nap.
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AmyKidsCo 08:46 PM 10-13-2014
O.M.G. Un-freakin-believable.

I had a Klingon who wouldn't leave until her child was upset, but never to that extent.

Interested to see what happens next...
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AuntTami 08:59 PM 10-13-2014
Klingon...Haha
It actually states in my handbook that drop off's need to be short and sweet, no more than 5 minutes. I would lose my mind if I had a "Klingon".... My parents are great about that, most of them drop and dash, and one waits until I distract her kid with another activity and she slips out the door. Otherwise he has a melt down when she leaves.
It's really horrible that this mom is doing that to her kid, and what's worse is that the girl ENJOYS coming to daycare! In my mind, what she's doing is no different than mom pinching the little girl until she cries! How mean!
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nannyde 04:43 AM 10-14-2014
What we would give collectively to the charity of your choice to watch this video

Sadly we can all easily imagine it.

Parental Attention Seeking Syndrome (PASS) parent. I have a chapter in my book about these parents. I wish I would have heard this one BEFORE I wrote it. It's the best PASS story I have ever heard... ever.
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KidGrind 04:46 AM 10-14-2014
Originally Posted by nannyde:
What we would give collectively to the charity of your choice to watch this video

Sadly we can all easily imagine it.

Parental Attention Seeking Syndrome (PASS) parent. I have a chapter in my book about these parents. I wish I would have heard this one BEFORE I wrote it. It's the best PASS story I have ever heard... ever.
I actually referenced your book after reading this one. I went right to the PASS chapter.

There is always an updated version.
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DaveA 05:36 AM 10-14-2014
Originally Posted by Sugar Magnolia:
"Koy ve duka ga cot dout"

That is Klingon for "Kindly get the fudge out"
Oh great- A Trekkie. The bane of my knifemakeing existence. Really funny though. Perfectly suited for a "Klingon".

I might have handed DCM a pacifier. Yikes.
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NightOwl 07:50 AM 10-14-2014
So any updates bookworm? This has got to be the most bizarre parental behavior I've ever heard.
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Bookworm 02:12 PM 10-14-2014
my Director calls DCM in the office at pickup. DCD showed up a few minutes later. DCM called and told him about the incident. He comes in and tries to go off and not let Director get a word in. Finally, she asked DCD what was he told about the incident. Suddenly DCM pipes in talking over DCD ( hmmm, can't imagine why) Dad said that we were rude to mom and that caused DCK to get upset. He said that DCM wasn't allowed comfort or say goodbye to DCK. That's when my Director rolled that beautiful daycare footage. My Director then told us that it got so quiet that you could have heard a rat pee on cotton. ( her words).

She said that DCD was embarrassed and DCM wouldn't look at either of them. DCM was told that if this ever happened again, she would no longer be able to drop off. She also Told DCM that she owes us an apology. She then told them both about how scared the other children were as well as DCK and that we do not want to see the DCKs like that ever.

This morning, my Director came in at 7 to monitor DCM. When she came in, she was shocked to see my Director. DCM was told that drop offs needed to be no longer than 2-3 min. There's no need to linger because she can clearly see that DCK was happy to be hear and she should be happy that DCK is so comfortable with us. DCM looked like she was going to cry so they both went to talk in the office.

Seems to me that DCM has never been called out on her foolishness. This was a new sensation for her. I guess we'll see what tomorrow brings. As for the DCP that helped us, she brought biscuits for the teachers .
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NightOwl 03:38 PM 10-14-2014
Awesome outcome!!
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nannyde 05:00 PM 10-14-2014
Originally Posted by Bookworm:
my Director calls DCM in the office at pickup. DCD showed up a few minutes later. DCM called and told him about the incident. He comes in and tries to go off and not let Director get a word in. Finally, she asked DCD what was he told about the incident. Suddenly DCM pipes in talking over DCD ( hmmm, can't imagine why) Dad said that we were rude to mom and that caused DCK to get upset. He said that DCM wasn't allowed comfort or say goodbye to DCK. That's when my Director rolled that beautiful daycare footage. My Director then told us that it got so quiet that you could have heard a rat pee on cotton. ( her words).

She said that DCD was embarrassed and DCM wouldn't look at either of them. DCM was told that if this ever happened again, she would no longer be able to drop off. She also Told DCM that she owes us an apology. She then told them both about how scared the other children were as well as DCK and that we do not want to see the DCKs like that ever.

This morning, my Director came in at 7 to monitor DCM. When she came in, she was shocked to see my Director. DCM was told that drop offs needed to be no longer than 2-3 min. There's no need to linger because she can clearly see that DCK was happy to be hear and she should be happy that DCK is so comfortable with us. DCM looked like she was going to cry so they both went to talk in the office.

Seems to me that DCM has never been called out on her foolishness. This was a new sensation for her. I guess we'll see what tomorrow brings. As for the DCP that helped us, she brought biscuits for the teachers .

Just remember the mom is in it for the attention. No more conferencing. Drop off and leave. She is FORCING you guys to DO her one way or the other. It needs to STOP.
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cheerfuldom 05:50 AM 10-15-2014
wow. I am officially speechless.
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BumbleBee 06:24 AM 10-15-2014
"Could hear a rat peeing on cotton"

I'm glad director is taking this seriously and put mom (and dad) in check. Bet they had a fun conversation that night!
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Controlled Chaos 07:59 AM 10-15-2014
Sounds like you have a good director
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Bookworm 09:14 AM 10-15-2014
Originally Posted by I
Nannyde;501782
:
Just remember the mom is in it for the attention. No more conferencing. Drop off and leave. She is FORCING you guys to DO her one way or the other. It needs to STOP.
Nanny, I swear, your "voice" was going off in my head the entire time. I knew this was about her because there is always another parent in the room when she does it. Now, we are to meet her in the class doorway to get DCK. Mom isn't allowed past the sign in sheet.
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renodeb 02:00 PM 10-15-2014
That to me is Emotional abuse/manipulation. I would see if the drop off policies could be changed. I had to change mine after having issues. I can honestly say that I have never seen that before but I have had klingons before. There such a drain!
Deb
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Bookworm 02:25 PM 10-15-2014
Originally Posted by nannyde:
What we would give collectively to the charity of your choice to watch this video

Sadly we can all easily imagine it.

Parental Attention Seeking Syndrome (PASS) parent. I have a chapter in my book about these parents. I wish I would have heard this one BEFORE I wrote it. It's the best PASS story I have ever heard... ever.
I promise you when I save up all my pennies and get my allowance, I'm buying your book. Would you mind if I copy certain chapters and put them on the windshields of certain parents?
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Cradle2crayons 04:53 PM 10-15-2014
Originally Posted by Bookworm:
I promise you when I save up all my pennies and get my allowance, I'm buying your book. Would you mind if I copy certain chapters and put them on the windshields of certain parents?
I'm saving my pennies too!! Gonna hit the coin star when she has the signed copies since I don't have moose meat.
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