www.Daycare.com/forum
Forum member Pammie asks “I’m just curious as to why so many providers seem to have such a difficult time saying “no”?? Seems like so many threads have this bottom-line issue.”
The reason providers don’t say no is because they believe if they say no the client will leave their business and they will loose the money. Most providers need that parent’s money this week to pay their bills. They are protecting their money for this week and their bills for this month every time they allow a parent to skirt the rules.
In most cases it’s not that the provider doesn’t have the ability or want to say “no”. If providers knew that the parent could not remove their business if they laid down the law you would rarely if ever hear these stories of parents misbehaving and allowing their child to misbehave during arrivals and departures.
It’s about 95 percent money and 5 percent not wanting the confrontation of disciplining adult age mates or adults in general.
This is why it’s important to have the rules in place BEFORE you get into a money deal with the parents. The second thing that providers must do is to add enough layers to the termination process that it buys time for parents to come around and accept the “no”. I have a month calendar notice in place. I only accept notice on Friday. I have accrued holiday and vacation pay due at the end of the contract if I haven’t used them up by the time the notice is given.
This usually means the parent will need to fork over 700-800 bucks to get out of the agreement. This alone stops any hair trigger responses to any “no’s” that come their way. It sets the stage for us to work out any differences because there will be four to five weeks of “living together” before they move on.
One benefit I offer for the parents is that I don’t have parents sign my contract until they have been here for 3-6 months. I offer the contract when I’m ready (and when I remember it). This allows me time to make sure they understand and will abide by my rules before they sign on. This also allows them to bolt without notice if they can’t take the “no”. By the time they sign up they have TIME here so there is NO excuse to not understand and agree to the rules, even the ones they don’t like so much. By the time the contract is signed they understand what they will be loosing if they choose to not comply to my policies. By that time they GET how good this deal it is.
It also allows them time to see that what I’m wanting is pretty easy to comply with. I’ve had parents gasp at the “no car seats in the house” rule but once they start loading and unloading the child from their car in the driveway they see that it’s actually faster and easier then hiking the seat in the house. When they live with “no food from home” they realize that it’s not so hard to give little mookie the cosmic brownie in the car. They learn that “no toys in the house” means they can blame it on “mean Nannyde who won’t let you have it”.
They adapt to the things they don’t really get in the beginning. This takes time. By the time they get to something new they have a bond here… one with me… one between their child and me… one with their child and the other kids… and a HISTORY of every day everything working out. That’s awfully hard to walk away from over a granola bar at drop off or a “no… don’t play with my door handle”.
